可以幫我翻譯面試要用的英文嗎?

Question

你好，今年我剛考完統測，推徵上了南台，不過面試很頭痛，
我自己有寫了一些稿，想請大家幫忙，幫我訂正訂正，我推的
是應用外語系~~謝謝大家!!
　
　我的名字叫**，出生於嘉義縣，生長在純樸的小鄉下。父母親的工作很穩定，讓我讀起書來更加的安心。
　　我是一個樂觀和喜愛交友的人，我喜歡把快樂帶給週遭的朋友。我的興趣是看機智的電視節目、聽音樂，也愛好運動，因此讓我培養出不錯的體力，好讓我有更清醒的頭腦去思考更多的事物。做任何事情都會先有個目標，更一一努力去實現。
My name is ***. I was born in a small county on October 16, 1989. My parents emphasize our education. They try their best to create a comfortable family. Therefore, I have a happy, sweet family life.
My hobbies are watching some witted TV programs, listening to music and playing volleyball. I use my leisure time to do a variety of recreational activities. It can refresh my brain and strength my physical vigour to learn new things.

《入學動機motivate.》
因為我很喜歡英文也喜歡旅遊，而且我對貴校的專業課程和發展很感興趣，當然，貴校是我的最佳選擇了。
I’m not only like English, but also like travel all over the word. Also I’m very interested in your professional course and development. Of course, your school is my best choice.

Answer 1

很高興看到你自己先做了翻譯。我沒看中文，只是針對你的英文部份做了些修飾。基本上都很好，所以改得不多。加進去的用大寫標出，有的贅字就直接拿掉了。希望對你有幫助。Good Luck!

My name is ***. I was born in a small TOWN on October 16, 1989. My parents GREATLY emphasizeD our education. They try their best to create a comfortable family ENVIRONMENT. Therefore, I have a happy, sweet family life.

My hobbies are watching witted TV programs, listening to music, and playing volleyball. I use my leisure time to do a variety of recreational activities. It refreshES my brain and strengthENS my physical vigour to learn new things.

《入學動機motivate.》(MOTIVATION)
因為我很喜歡英文也喜歡旅遊，而且我對貴校的專業課程和發展很感興趣，當然，貴校是我的最佳選擇了。
I like English, AND I enjoy travelING all over the word. I'm also very interested in your professional courseS and development. THEREFORE, your school is my best (FAVORITE/TOP) choice.

或 That is why your school is the best choice.

Answer 2

　我的名字叫**，出生於嘉義縣，生長在純樸的小鄉下。父母親的工作很穩定，讓我讀起書來更加的安心。
　　我是一個樂觀和喜愛交友的人，我喜歡把快樂帶給週遭的朋友。我的興趣是看機智的電視節目、聽音樂，也愛好運動，因此讓我培養出不錯的體力，好讓我有更清醒的頭腦去思考更多的事物。做任何事情都會先有個目標，更一一努力去實現。
My name is ***. I was born at chiayi county on October 16, 1989. My parents support our education by working steadily and make me feel comfortable . generally speaking, I have a very happy, warm family .
My hobby is watching some witty TV programs, listening to the music and playing volleyball. I spend my leisure time to do various recreation. It can refresh my brain and strength my ability to learn new things.
《入學動機motivate.》
因為我很喜歡英文也喜歡旅遊，而且我對貴校的專業課程和發展很感興趣，當然，貴校是我的最佳選擇了。
not only I like learning English, but also I like travel all over the world. in addition, I'm very interested in your professional course and development. Of course, your school is my best choice. *****

2007-06-29 03:05:51 補充：
strength my ability to learn 其中strength 請修正為strengthen*****