可以幫我改這封商業書信嗎?

Question

Dear Mr.CCC

We are writing to ask for you to think about authorising the dealership of AAA to us.

BBB Technologies & Services Inc. ,We established on June 1 ,2007. We are a newly-established corporation but have a lot of experiences of selling. We are interesting in the variety of your products and we also comprehensively know most ways of applications. It is important to us that have a high quality supplier like CCC.

We take great pleasure to invite you to our company to discuss the details of cooperation.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best regards

BBB Technologies & Services Inc.


以下是中文本文

CCC先生您好

我們想要求你們研擬提供AAA在台灣的銷售代理權給我們的可能性。

BBB公司，我們成立於2007年六月一號，雖新成立 , 但卻有著豐富的實際銷售經驗。我們對貴公司的產品用途的廣泛，有著深刻的瞭解與興趣。而有著如CCC一般的品質良好供應商，對我們來說是很重要的一件事。

我們很榮幸的邀請您來我們公司討論相關的合作細節

期待能近期內收到您的回應

敬祝 商祺

BBB公司


我想問的是 這封中文郵件 這樣翻英文有錯嗎
包括商用書信常用語的不適合的錯誤 或是文法的錯誤
或是句意不通的錯誤 有貿易熟悉的人士 能跟我講這封書信有啥問題嗎 謝謝

Answer 1

Dear Mr.CCC

We ask for you to think about authorising the dealership of AAA to us.

our company was established on June 1 ,2007. We are a newly open corporation but have a lot of experiences in selling. We are interesting in your various products and also excel in the ways of applications. It is important for us to have a high quality supplier like CCC.

it is our pleasure to invite you to discuss the cooperating in detail .

We are looking forward to your response.


Best regards

BBB Technologies & Services Inc.

Answer 2

Mr. CCC hello

We want to request you to grind plan to provide AAA to give our
possibility in Taiwan's sales power of attorney.

BBB Corporation, we is founded in June, 2007, although newly had been
established, but actually has the rich actual sales experience. We to
your firm's product use widespread, have the profound understanding
and the interest. But has like the CCC general quality good supplier,
to us said is a very important matter.

We are honored very much invite you to come our company to discuss the
related cooperation detail

The anticipation will be able in the near future to receive
your response

Respectfully wishes business to be auspicious

BBB Corporation



有幾個句子不太一樣,你看看吧