可以幫我看看這段英文文法哪裡有錯嗎(急) 謝謝

Question

因為時間有點趕 麻煩高手幫我看看
這段英文哪裡有錯誤 謝謝嚕!

In my experience of being a volunteer, I have ever attended an advanced volunteer course, and I also helped with the documents at the Genesis Social Welfare Foundation. This invaluable practical experience made me aware of the essence and the importance of helping people, as well as enhanced my understanding of my own characteristics, including my attitude in facing and resolving problems, performing self-examination regularly, handle a task efficiently, and I have confirmed that I am deeply interested in the field of counseling. I believe that these characteristics are vital necessity for graduate studies in counseling.

Answer 1

it might be just me... but I really don't think 樓上的 did a good job...
In my volunteering experiences,
**I have ever attended an advanced volunteer course [I have ever...?? what are u trying to say? besides, attending a course is NOT a volunteering experience.. I've rearranged it for you...]**
I have helped with the documents [you can't help with the documents.. there
should be a job title associated with what you did.. eg. document filing] at the
Genesis Social Welfare Foundation. In addition, I have attended an advanced
volunteer course to __[why did you attend the course?] . These invaluable and
practical experiences have made me aware of the essence and the importance of
helping people; the experiences have also helped to enhance my understanding of
my own characteristics such as my attitude in facing and resolving problems. I
have learned to perform self-examination regularly, as well as how to handle a task
efficiently. As a result of what I have experienced and learned, I have confirmed that
I am deeply interested in the field of counseling. I believe that the skills I have
acquired from my volenteering experiences are of vital necessity for graduate
studies in counseling.
----------------------------------
make more changes as you see fit~ Good luck on your application!

Answer 2

Regarding being a volunteer, I have ever attended an advanced volunteer course, and I also helped with the documents at the Genesis Social Welfare Foundation.

This invaluable practical experience made me aware of the essence of and the importance of helping people, as well as enhanced my understanding of my own characteristics, including my attitude in facing and resolving problems, my will to perform self-examination regularly and my ability to handle a task efficiently.

Moreover, from this experience I have confirmed that I am deeply interested in the field of counseling.

I believe that these characteristics are vital necessity for graduate program in counseling.