【20P】修正英文文法…(文章)

Question

寫的很不好...麻煩大大幫我訂正一下，幫我修正文法

謝謝~

When I was a child, my cousin was my favorite relative. She was

my aunt’s daughter. My cousin was older than me but she looked so

young. Sometimes I went out with my cousin. Everyone thought her

was my sister. My cousin lived in Taipei city. So we often went out

together.

I played with my cousin when I was a child. She taught me

writing and drawing. My cousin was drawn very well. She can paint

everything what she like. So I adore my cousin. My cousin was a very

kind-hearted person. We never affray. If we had a quarrel, she always

make an apology first.

Now she moving to Taichung city. So I haven’t much time to visit

her. My cousin was busy because she have to work. But I have make

contact with her by phone. In recent years, she concentrate on her

job. My cousin told me if she have vacation she want to come Taipei.

I will expect my cousin come to here.

Answer 1

When I was a child, my cousin was my favorite relative. She was

my aunt's daughter. My cousin was elder than me but she looked so

young. Sometimes I went out with her. Everyone thought of her

as my young sister.Because she lived in Taipei, we often went out

together.

I played with my cousin when I was a child. She taught me

writing and drawing. My cousin was good at drawing. She could paint

everything that she liked. So I adored my cousin. My cousin was a

kind-hearted person. We'd never had affray. If we had a quarrel, she always

made an apology first.

Now she is moving to Taichung city. So I don't have much time to visit

her. My cousin is busy because she has to work. But I have gotten

contact with her. In recent years, she has concentrated on her

job. My cousin told me if she had vacation,she wanted to come Taipei.

I expect my cousin will come.

時態要注意
介係詞不太熟
不過寫的不錯

Answer 2

When I was a child, my cousin, daughter of my aunt(這是 my cousin 的同位語), was my favoraite relative. Though older than me(句子合併), she looked so young that(so...that...:如此...以至於...) everyone thought she was my sister when I went out with her sometimes. She lived in Taipei, so we often went out together.
As a child(=When I was a child), I played with my cousin, who(關係代名詞) taught me how to write and draw. She drew so well that she could almost draw everything that she wanted, and I adored her for that.
My cousin was a very kind-hearted person and we rarely(幾乎不) had affray. Even if(就算) we had a quarrel, she would always be the first to apologize.
Now I don't have much time to visit her, for she has moved to Taichung. Although she is busy because she has been concentrating on her job in recent years(句子合併), we still contact each other by phone. She said if she had vacations, she would come to Taipei, which(關係代名詞,代表前面那件事) I am looking forward to.
幾點說明:
1. 動詞時態要配合句子的內容.
2. 適當使用代名詞以避免重複.
3. 適當使用關係代名詞, 連接詞, 副詞,...來建構複句, 以求變化, 避免大量的單句所帶來的單調感.

Answer 3

When I was a child, my cousin was my favorite relative. She was

my aunt's daughter. (She is my aunt's daughter. 要改成is 因為他現在還是你阿姨的女兒)

My cousin was older than me but she looked so young.


Sometimes "when" I went out with my cousin. Everyone thought her

was my sister. (Everyone thought she was my sister. 是用she 因為是主詞)

My cousin lived in Taipei city. We often went out

together. (用Taipei 不用加city) (不用加so 就直接寫We often went out together.)

I played with my cousin when I was a child. She taught me

writing and drawing. My cousin was drawn very well. 這句話應該改成 My cousin was good at drawing / She could draw very well.

She can paint everything what she like. 要改成 She can paint anything she likes. /She can paint anything that she likes.

So I adore my cousin.

My cousin was a very kind-hearted person.

We never affray

2006-12-10 16:04:27 補充：
Now she moving to Taichung. >> She moves to Taichung.

抱歉這句沒看到

Answer 4

When I was a child, my cousin was my favorite relative. She is my aunt’s daughter. My cousin is older than me but she looks so young. Sometimes I went out with her. Everyone thought she is my younger sister. We both lived in Taipei city. So we always hand out together.
I played with my cousin when I was a child. She taught me how to write and draw. My cousin can draw very well. She can draw anything if she likes. So I adore my cousin very much. My cousin is a very kind-hearted person. We did not have affray. Even if we had a quarrel, she always apologized to me first.
Now she moves to Taichung city. So I do not have much time to visit her. Also my cousin is very busy for her work too. But we still keep in touch by phone calls. Although she concentrates on her job, lately my cousin told me if she has vacation she is going to come to Taipei. I am looking forward to see her again.
盡量不改你用的字句嚕.. ^^.. 希望沒啥其他錯了.. ^_^