急~我的英文推薦信請幫我看看要如何修改,謝謝~ 20點

Question

今天終於把推薦信寫好了,請英文高手幫幫我改一下,謝謝~~(我想申請財務碩士)

Dear Sir/Madam:

It is with great pleasure and enthusiasm that I am writing to endorse Ms. Chen, Jui-Hsuan 's application to your program. Jui-Hsuan is a very outstanding lady and I would highly recommend her to your program.

I am working as Manager of Entie Commercial Bank. I have known Jui-Hsuan since she joined our team for promoting various consumer-banking products. Her major tasks included client network development, new-recruit training and after-sales service.

Even though a new comer, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated strong capabilities on selling skills and customer relationship management. In addition, she could always complete the tasks under pressure and boost team members’ morale, which won the compliments from her clients and partners. Especially, judging from our annual performance review, I found that most customers were highly satisfied with her service. In 2004, Jui-Hsuan even ranked #1 in Telephone Marketing Division. This result once again proved that Jui-Hsuan was an indispensable part of our team.

In general, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated high sense of responsbility, attention to details, good communication skills and team spirit. I am confident that she will succeed in her future career and also confident that her further academic pursuits will be met with similar success.

Thus, I would like to give Jui-Hsuan ‘s application my wholehearted support and highest recommendation. If I can be of any further assistance in your evaluation of Jui-Hsuan, please do not hesitate to contact me.


Sincerely,

Answer 1

Dear Sir/Madam:It is a great pleasure for me to endorse Jui-Hsuan Chen's application to your program. Jui-Hsuan is an outstanding lady and I am delighted to recommend her to your program.I am the manager of Entie Commercial Bank. I have known Jui-Hsuan since she joined our team in promoting various consumer-banking products. Her major tasks included client network development, new-recruit training and after-sales service.As a brand new personnel to our bank, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated strong and aggressive sales skills, and enthusiastic and sophisticated customer relationship management. She always showing poisitive attitude completing her tasks under pressure. She motivates her team members, and gain many compliments from her clients and partners. Reviewing her annual performance review file, her service has one of the highest customer satisfaction . In 2004, Jui-Hsuan ranked #1 service in Telephone Marketing Division. This result once again proved that Jui-Hsuan was an indispensable part of our team.Overall, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated high sense of responsibility,  detail oriented, good communication skills and team spirit. I am confident that she will succeed in her future career and also confident that her further academic pursuits will be met with similar success.Thus, I would like to give Jui-Hsuan ‘s application my full support and highest recommendation. If I can be of any further assistance in your evaluation of Jui-Hsuan, please do not hesitate to contact me.Sincerely,

Answer 2

Dear Sir/Madam:It is with great pleasure and privilage that I am writing to endorse Ms. Chen, Jui-Hsuan 's application to your program. Jui-Hsuan is a very outstanding young lady and I would highly recommend her to your program.I am now working as a manager of EnTie Commercial Bank. I have known Jui-Hsuan since she joined our team in 20XX (or 19XX) for promoting various consumer-banking products. Her major tasks included client network development, new-recruit training, and after-sales service.Even though a new comer, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated strong capabilities on selling skills and customer relationship management. In addition, she could always complete the tasks under pressure and boost team members’ morale, which won the compliments from her clients and partners. Especially, judging from our annual performance review, I found that most customers were highly satisfied with her service. In 2004, Jui-Hsuan even ranked Number 1 in Telephone Marketing Division. This result once again proved that Jui-Hsuan was an indispensable part of our team.In general, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated high sense of responsbility, attention to details, good communication skills and team spirit. I am confident that she will succeed in her future career and also confident that her further academic pursuits will be met with similar success.Thus, I would like to give Jui-Hsuan ‘s application my wholehearted support and highest recommendation. If I can be of any further assistance in your evaluation of Jui-Hsuan, please do not hesitate to contact me.Sincerely yours,

Answer 3

To Whom it May Concern,

It is with great pleasure and enthusiasm that I am writing to recommend Ms. Chen, Jui-Hsuan 's application to your program. Jui-Hsuan is a very outstanding employee and I would highly recommend her to your program.

I am working as Manager of Entie Commercial Bank. I have known Jui-Hsuan since she first joined our team for promoting various consumer-banking products. Her work includes client network development, new-recruit training and after-sales service.

As a new comer, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated strong abilities in sales as well as customer relationship management. In addition, she could always complete the tasks under pressure and boost team members’ morale, which won compliments from her clients and partners. Especially, judging from our annual performance review, I found that most customers were highly satisfied with her service. In 2004, Jui-Hsuan has ranked #1 in Telephone Marketing Division. The result once again proved that Jui-Hsuan was an indispensable part of our team.

In general, Jui-Hsuan has demonstrated high sense of responsibility, attention to details, good communication skills and team spirit. I am confident that she will succeed in her future career and also confident that her further academic pursuit will be met with similar success.

Thus, I would like to give Jui-Hsuan ‘s application my wholehearted support and highest recommendation. If I can be of any further assistance in your evaluation of Jui-Hsuan, please do not hesitate to contact me.


Sincerely,

Answer 4

Overall I think this is a very strong letter of recommendation.  The only suggestions I have are to add the year when she joined the bank so as to emphasize that you have known her for a long while, and alter the flow a little bit.  Normally they don't spend a lot of time reading the letter.  So you want to catch their eyes in the first couple paragraphs by showing your endorsement and why you believe that it would be the school's loss if they don't admit her.  Then follow up with success stories to further strengthen your points.I hope this helps.Good luck