可以幫幫我修改這個英文作文嗎?

Question

The advantage of studying in Harvard University
There are several advantages of Harvard University. Firstly, I want to attend Harvard

University because it has high prestige and help me to get a high salary job.(這裡老師說

要寫在詳細一點) Second, Harvard University usually has better faculties that

professors offer various knowledge of academic to meet our educational needs. In

addition, Harvard University has many opportunities for students to get scholarships;

subsequently,(這裡也要在寫詳細一點) I will then be able to attend a school (whose

tuition not normally be able to afford). Harvard University has
↑老師說這裡要重寫換個方式寫 ↑(加連接詞和細節)

enough facilities. For example, the training systems offer me to learn TOFEL or TOEIC,

( so I don't spend money going to cram schools).
↑括號的地方這裡換個方式寫
(The last advantage for me) is that because Harvard University has many outstanding
↑這裡也要重寫
students and have more challenges, it pushes me (to be the best one).
↑這裡也要重寫
(In conclusion, we can understand that studying at Harvard Univer
sity have many advantages).
↑括號的地方就是要重寫

拜託各為英文高手可以幫幫我~~謝謝 @@

Answer 1

The advantage of studying at Harvard University
There are several advantages of studying at Harvard University. First, I want to attend Harvard University because it is highly prestigious and will help me get a high salary job. Second, Harvard University usually has better faculties, and professors offer various knowledge of academic studies to meet our educational needs. In addition, Harvard University has many opportunities for students to get scholarships; subsequently, I will then be able to afford the tuition. Harvard University has rigorous courses that will offer training systems to learn TOFEL or TOEIC,so I don't have to waste time and money at cram school.   Lastyly, Harvard University has many outstanding students and is very challenging, and will push me to become the best I can be. In conclusion, we can understand that studying at Harvard University have many advantages. 

2006-11-03 23:55:45 補充：
HAS many advantages.