請幫忙文法檢查與含意表達是否正確

Question

Jeffrey was working at the gym. He met Helen in her first class. Helen is pretty and she has nice legs, many guys in the class all like her but they didn’t have courage to talk to her.

Jeffrey taught Helen wrestling. In the beginning , Helen was worried about the wrestling throws. But after practiced for two hours she was getting interesting in wrestling.

After two weeks later, Jeffrey asked Helen go out for dinner, but she refused. Jeffrey didn’t give up and asked Helen out again and again. But each time he got the same answer.

One day, Helen changed her mind and asked Jeffrey out to dinner actively. At the restaurant she told Jeffrey she already had a boyfriend and probably they would get married.

Jeffrey asked Helen what were her plans in the future, but she didn’t have any. He told Helen there were many things he wanted to do with his life, such as travel in Asia. Study many things and learn to paint.

Helen was excited of all the things Jeffrey wanted to do, she changed her mind about him and they fell in love that night.

After that, Helen decided broke up with her old boyfriend. One year later, she married Jeffrey.

The story tell us: the best relationships start when both people have one important thing that they both like to do.

Answer 1

Jeffrey was working at the gym. He met Helen in her first class. Helen WAS pretty and she HAD nice legs. Many guys in the class LIKED her but they didn't have THE courage to talk to her.

Jeffrey taught Helen wrestling. In the beginning , Helen was worried about the wrestling throws. But after PRCTICING for two hours she was getting INTERESTED in IT.

TWO WEEKS LATER, Jeffrey asked Helen OUT for dinner, but she refused. Jeffrey didn't give up and asked HER out again and again. But each time he got the same answer.

One day, Helen changed her mind and asked Jeffrey out to dinner ON HER INITIATIVE. At the restaurant she told Jeffrey she already had a boyfriend and probably they would get married.

Jeffrey asked Helen what HER PLANS WOULD BE in the future, AND she SAID SHE didn't have any. He told Helen there were many things he wanted to do IN his life, such as TRAVELING TO Asia, STUDYING many things and LEARNING HOW to paint.

Helen was excited ABOUT all the things Jeffrey wanted to do, AND she FELT DIFFERENT ABOUT him. THEY fell in love that night.

After that, Helen decided LEAVE her EX-boyfriend. One year later, she married Jeffrey.

The story tell us: the best relationships start when both people have one important thing IN COMMON that they both like to do.