英文履歷修改(20點)急

Question

一小部分，請幫忙修改，最好能有一些建議，謝謝(應徵秘書)

I am a friendly, responsible, hard working, enthusiastic and optimistic person. In school, I would use summer vacation to work part time in shopping malls, which not only increased my working experiences but also developed my persevering and cooperative spirits. Furthermore, I can get close to people and serve them. I reported every situation by the working sheet and then receive praise and bonus from the company.
After graduating from university, I worked in ** as a secretary. My main jobs are paperwork, key-in, reception, announcement and put into practice the affairs of the headquarters, and helping salesmen with their chores. I was appointed to supervise the company out of my heavy sense of responsibility when the boss went abroad. Whenever the personnel from headquarter examines the items and affairs , I always get 90 and win the praise. I always keep my maxim in mind towards the work, “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today.” After work, I would use my leisure time to learn English by seeing movies, magazines and listening to ICRT. To prove my English ability, I scored *** in TOEIC. As for the computer skill, I master in Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Outlook and Corel Draw. I am glad to learn any aspects I do not familiar with.

Answer 1

I am a friendly, responsible, and diligent person, who is both enthusiastic and optimistic. While in school, I worked part-time at shopping malls during summer vacations. The work not only expanded my working experience, but also improved my perseverance and team spirit. The work also provided me with the opportunity to be close to people and serve them. I noted every working situation on the worksheet and received compliments and bonuses from the company.After graduating from university, I worked in ** as a secretary. My main responsibilities were filing, data entry, guest accommodation, announcement, putting headquarter-related issues into practice, and assisting the sales department. I was appointed to supervise the company when the owner went abroad due to my strong sense of responsibility. Whenever headquarter personnel comes to examine items and affairs , I always receive score 90 and compliments. I always do the best I can, and "Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today." After work, I would use my leisure time to learn English by watching movies, reading magazines and listening to ICRT. I scored *** on TOEIC, and it can be a proof of my English knowledge. As for computer skills, I master in Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Outlook and Corel Draw. I am always happy to learn anything new to improve myself.不通順的地方儘量改了，不過要是公司要求秘書需英文寫作流利的話可能您這方面還要加強，因為有許多中文直翻英文的現象。履歷方面，大致看來OK，只要你確定你有回答到那公司想知道的，也有提到關於你擁有的、有關此職位所需能力與經驗就可以了。

2006-06-01 01:01:01 補充：
類似直翻的現象就像「看電影」是 (to) watch movies, 不是 (to) see movies.

Answer 2

I am a friendly, responsible, hard working, enthusiastic and optimistic person. I used to work in a shopping mall during the summer vacation when I was a student, which not only increased my working experiences but also developed my persevering and cooperative spirits. Also, I can get close to people and serve them. I reported every situation by the working sheet and then receive praise and bonus from the company.
After graduating from university, I worked in ** as a secretary. My main jobs were do paper works, key-in, receive customers, announce the information and put into practice the affairs of the headquarters, and helping salesmen with their chores. When the boss went abroad, out of my heavy sense of responsibility, I was appointed to supervise the company. Whenever the personnel from headquarter examined the items and affairs, I always got 90 and won the praise. I always keep my maxim in mind towards the work, “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today.” After work, I always learn English in my leisure time by seeing movies, magazines and listening to the ICRT programs. To prove my English skill, I scored *** in TOEIC. As for the computer skill, I master in Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Outlook and Corel Draw. I am glad to learn any aspects I do not familiar with.

By the way, I can't exactly unstand what you want to express in this sentence "I reported every situation by the working sheet and then receive praise and bonus from the company."

2006-06-01 01:10:51 補充：
打錯字...到數第二行是 I can't exactly understand what you want to express in this sentence ...

Answer 3

我是一個友好, 負責任, 堅硬工作, 熱心和樂觀人。在學校, 我曾經暑假運作兼職在商城, 不僅增加我的工作經驗而且開發了我堅持的和合作精神。此外, 我能得到緊挨人和服務他們。我報告了每個情況由工作板料和然後接受稱讚並且獎金從company.After 畢業從大學, 我服務** 作為秘書。我的主要工作是文書工作, 鑰匙在, 招待會, 公告和投入入實踐總部, 和幫助的推銷員的事理以他們的差事。我被任命監督公司出於我重的責任感當上司海外去。每當人員從總部審查項目和事理, 我得到90 和總贏取稱讚。我總保留我的格言在頭腦往工作, "從未推遲直到明天什麼可以今天做。" 在工作以後, 我會使用我的業餘時間學會英語由看見電影, 雜誌和傾聽ICRT 。證明我的英國能力, 我計分*** 在TOEIC 。至於電腦技巧, 我掌握在詞, 擅長, 力圖指示、通入、外型和Corel 凹道。我是高興學會我不是熟悉與的所有方面。

改依改在貼文查查看是否順暢~
http://dictionary.reference.com/translate/text.html

Answer 4

In school, I would use summer vacation to work part time in shopping malls, which... =====> In school time, during summer vacation I used to work in a shopping mall as a part time worker,it...