請英文達人幫我訂正一下這篇文章...謝謝

Question

What thing needn\'t egress can know outside things?
是什麼東西能不出門而之天下事?
That’s my favorite – Internet.
那就是我的最愛-網際網路。
Why my favorite is the Internet?
為什麼我的最愛是網際網路?
Because I don’t have any sibling, and my parents usually don’t at home.
因為我沒有任何的兄弟姊妹,而且我的爸媽常常不在家。
So computer always companion with me at home.
所以在家裡總是電腦陪伴我。
Remembered when first contact computer is I five years old, from my father teach me to play the computer games start, and then arrives the elementary school, start a succession of study present.
記得第一次接觸電腦時是在5歲時，從爸爸教我玩電腦裡的遊戲開始，然後到小學，開始一連串的的學習到現在。
I like the Internet, that smooth wants in particular by the feeling is really good.
我喜歡網路,尤其是那份暢所欲由的感覺真好。
On the Internet,
在網路上
I like to use MSN chatting with my friends and my classmate.
我喜歡用MSN 與同學、朋友聊天。
Sometimes, I write diary and play on-line games.
有時候,我會寫寫日記和玩玩線上遊戲
But not only can do these things, I also can learn many things.
但不是只能做這些事，我還可以在網路上學到許多東西。
I once played alien on-line games, went to their website,
我曾經去玩外國的線上遊戲，上外國的網站，
That caused me acquire a bit of English even Japanese.
那讓我學會了一點點的英文甚至日文。
I acquaintanceship some alien friends, too.
我也認識了一些外國的朋友
The Internet is the communication bridge,
網路是溝通的橋樑，是生活的魔術師，它帶給人們的是一份便利，
Maybe somebody says Internet is bad for us.
也許有些人說網路對我們不好，
In this unreal world, also has darkness one side.
在這虛幻的世界裡，也有黑暗的一面。
For example: the hacker, the computer virus and the pornography...
例如 駭客、 電腦病毒、 色情… 等。
But I think Internet even though has some bad things
但我想網路雖然有不好的東西，
Comparative it has good things, too.
相對的 它也有好的東西。
I think it\'s a big treasure house, can obtain the infinite knowledge.
我認為它是一個大寶庫，可以取得無窮的知識。
Lucky we, have obtained Internet this good companion,
幸運的我們，獲得了網路這樣一個好伴侶，
But, I want to remind everybody, The Internet world although is happy, But don\'t forget to go home!
但是，我想提醒大家，網路的世界雖然美好，但可別忘了回家唷!


還是搞不懂\"在網路上\" 要用 In the Internet 還是 On the Internet?

Answer 1

What can let you know everything around the world without going out?
是什麼東西能不出門而之天下事?
That’s my favorite – Internet.
那就是我的最愛-網際網路。
Why do I like Internet?
為什麼我的最愛是網際網路?
Because I don’t have sibling, and my parents are not at home usually.
因為我沒有任何的兄弟姊妹,而且我的爸媽常常不在家。
So computer is my only companion in the house.
所以在家裡總是電腦陪伴我。
I got to know computer when I was five. Father taught me played the computer games at the beginning. I have been learning to use computer since I was in elementary school until now.
記得第一次接觸電腦時是在5歲時，從爸爸教我玩電腦裡的遊戲開始，然後到小學，開始一連串的的學習到現在。
I like to surf internet as I can do whatever I want. It is great.
我喜歡網路,尤其是那份暢所欲由的感覺真好。
On the Internet,
在網路上
I like to use MSN to chit-chat with my friends and my classmates.
我喜歡用MSN 與同學、朋友聊天。
Sometimes, I would write diary and play on-line games.
有時候,我會寫寫日記和玩玩線上遊戲
In addition, I can leart a lot of things from internet.
但不是只能做這些事，我還可以在網路上學到許多東西。
I have played overseas on-line games before and browsed to their website.
我曾經去玩外國的線上遊戲，上外國的網站，
I have leart English and even Japanese from here.
那讓我學會了一點點的英文甚至日文。
I got to know some of the foreigners, too.
我也認識了一些外國的朋友
The Internet is one of the communication mediums, it brings conveniences to human beings.
網路是溝通的橋樑，是生活的魔術師，它帶給人們的是一份便利，
Maybe somebody would say Internet is bad.
也許有些人說網路對我們不好，
In this virtual world, it also has its negative sides.
在這虛幻的世界裡，也有黑暗的一面。
For example: the hacker, the computer virus and the pornography...
例如 駭客、 電腦病毒、 色情… 等。
But I think even though there are some false informations on Internet
但我想網路雖然有不好的東西，
Conversely, it has its bright sides too.
相對的 它也有好的東西。
I think it's a big treasure house, can obtain infinite knowledge.
我認為它是一個大寶庫，可以取得無窮的知識。
We are lucky to have Internet, a good companion,
幸運的我們，獲得了網路這樣一個好伴侶，
But, I want to remind everybody even though the Internet has a lot of fun, but do not forget to go home!
但是，我想提醒大家，網路的世界雖然美好，但可別忘了回家唷!

用 On the Internet

Answer 2

What could make a person know everything without going out? That would defintely be my favorite- Internet. Why is the Internet my favorite? It was because I do not have any sibling and my parents are usually not home, but computer is always with me. I remembered that when I first contact the computer, I was five years old. It began with my father teaching me how to play games, and I started lessons ever since I was in elementary school. I like Internet, especially the unhindered feelings. On the Internet, I would use MSN, a chatting system, to chat with my friends and classmates. Sometimes I would write diaries and play some online games. I could do not just these amusements on the Internet, but I could also learn many things. I had once played alien online games by going to the websites. Doing this, it did not just help me improve my English but also helped me learn some Japanese. At the same time, I acquaintanceship some alien friends, too. The Internet is the communication bridge, the magician of life, and it brings us convenience. Some people might say that Internet is bad for us. In this virtual world, the darkness still exist, such as the hackers, computer viruses, pornography...etc.. In my opinion, even though the Internet has something bad as things like that, it has some goods, too. The Internet is a treasure island, where a person could obtain infinte knowledge, and we are lucky to have such fortune. But hey! Although this virtual world is happy, don't forget to go home!