我這樣子的中英文自傳可以嗎

Question

我出生於宜蘭，家中成員有4人，爸爸、媽媽、還有一個哥哥，因為都是男生所以爸媽對我們的管教很開明，因為家中務農的關係，造就出我樸實的個性。羅東高中畢業後，就讀於逢甲工業工程與系統管理學系，就於去年6月應屆畢業。
高中時期參與過愛心慈幼社，上大學後對此類社團仍有深厚的興趣，於是參加了社會服務團，在這兩年的時間中，跟世界展望會與家扶中心等類的機關合作辦過許多活動，除了社團活動之外我也參加過系上的壘球隊，在求學期間我也做過很多不同種類的工作，選舉打工、送PIZZA、賣魯味，餐廳外燴，郵局分信，這豐富的工作經驗不只充實了我的大學生活，更讓我學到課堂上學不到的生活經驗。
畢業後的第一份工作在xx科技服務，工作內容為製程工程師，在服務期間學習到很多知識，但是希望可以學習到更多設備製程的內容所以想往設備製程方面前進，短期內希望在穩定的工作中繼續學習，等自我能力提升後，能得到升遷機會往管理階層繼續努力。


Name: xxx
Address: xxx
Mobile Phone :xxx
Email: xxx
Career Objective:
Equipment Engineer
Education:
2001 – 2005 Feng Chia University，The courses I am currently doing is Industrial Engineering。
1998 – 2001 National Lo-Tung Senior High School。
Summary of Qualifications
Strong communication and interpersonal skills。
Ability to achieve results。
Full of responsibility。
Work Experience:
2005.11-2006.03:xxx Technology Co., Ltd.，製程(不知道如何打)Engineer。
Computer Skills:
Word，Power point，Outlook，Excel and so on。
I was born in I-Lan. In my family there are four people including me,my parents and brother.I am optimistic and always willing to learn new things. When I was a child my parents paid much attention to the development of my personality. I was brought up in such a healthy atmosphere and environment, so I have a positive outlook on life.
　　When I was a student, I was a very easy person to get along with, so I had many friends. My teachers also praised me and gave me many opportunities to acquire different skills.
　　In Feng - Chia College majored in Industrial Engineering . The subjects I studied included the knowledge and skills connected with IE work . In semester, I works increase my work experience.For example,works in a restaurant, post office and so on.
　　After graduating from Feng - Chia,I works in Max Echo Technology Co., Ltd, holds the post of engineer, in service period studies very many knowledge, but hopes study more knowledge therefore wants to go forward toward the equipment aspect.

我的英文不好這是我大概看範例打出來了 我主要是要投工作履歷用的
不知道這樣子的中英文履歷可以嗎 如果很濫可以麻煩幫我修改一下嗎~
我真的不是很會~~~~^^

Answer 1

- Resume -Name: xxxAddress: xxxMobile Phone :xxxEmail: xxxCareer Objective: Equipment EngineerA. Scholastic Record:2001 – 2005 Feng Chia University, majoring in Industrial Engineering1998 – 2001 National Lo-Tung Senior High SchoolSpecialty1. Strong communication and interpersonal skills2. Able to achieve set goals3. Full of responsibility。B. Working Experience:2005.11-2006.03 - Processing Engineer, XXX Technology Co., Ltd.Computer Skills: Word, Power point, Outlook, Excel, etc.AutobiographyI was born in I-Lan. There are four people in my family: my parents, one brother and I. I am optimistic and always active to learn new things. When I was a child, my parents paid much attention to the development of my personality. I was brought up in such a nice family that I become pretty positive in my life.When I was a student, I was an easygoing person, so I had many friends. My teachers also praised me and gave me many opportunities to learn different skills.I majored in Industrial Engineering at Feng Chia College . The subjects I studied were knowledge and skills related to IE work. During the summer vacations, I worked part-time to increase my working experience, for example, I ever worked in a restaurant, a post office and so on.After I graduated the college, I worked as an engineer for Max Echo Technology Co., Ltd. Although I have learned a lot from my work, I hope to study further in the filed of equipment science.

2006-03-19 12:04:50 補充：
修改an elder brother

Answer 2

對於自我經歷 技能的描寫不完整
此外也沒有妥善的生涯規劃
人家只要問你生涯規劃 你就仆街了