英文文法寫作的正確性問題

Question

幫我改錯 <尊重原文>
請詳細解釋
When i mention my family, i must talking about their occupations, my dad is a traffic policeman, he always keeps traffic fluency on the street, he works very hard, and he very loves us, My mom is a housekeeper, she cleans our house all the day, and cooks dinner when I go home form school. My brother is a student, too, but he operate computer very well, I often ask he computer how to use, we very like each other family member, we are a happiness family.

Answer 1

When I talked about my family, I must mention thier occupation as well. My dad is a traffic policeman. He keeps the traffic in order on the street(he conducts the traffic well).
He works very hard and loves us very much. My mom is a housekeeper(有點像是家傭,用housewife會更好).She cleans our house everyday and prepared the dinner when I get home from school.My brother is also a student, he is a computer expert(whiz). I often ask him to help me when its related to comupting. We like each other very much.We are a happy family.

2006-02-20 13:33:20 補充：
打錯字 第一行 thier ===> their第 四行 prepared ===>prepare

2006-03-03 13:15:38 補充：
感恩感恩
下次會多多注意打清楚

Answer 2

是的 我也同意 nakulasi 的說法
就小光頭的來說 如果要以現在式來寫 那麼連第一句也要寫改成:
When I introduce my family, I must mention thier occupations as well.

talked about 要改成 introduce
occupation 要改成 occupations

2006-02-24 03:52:09 補充：
willynieh 的第一句要改成
When I mention about my family, I must talk about their occupations.

2006-02-24 03:52:18 補充：
我了解 willynieh 注重原文, 所以這一段是讓發問者看的:
My brother is a student as well. But he knows computer a lot.

要改成:

My brother is also a student, but he knows about computer more than I do.

或

My brother is also a student, and he knows about computer.

2006-02-24 03:53:37 補充：
兩個的回答都不錯, 都是自己實力!

Answer 3

我覺得兩位都翻的非常好 但好像有一點點小錯誤的樣子…

willy的：
He works hard yet he still love(s) us very much

But he knows computer a lot
=> but he knows alot about computer

小光頭的：
She cleans our house everyday and prepare(s) the dinner when I get home from school

=)

Answer 4

When I mentioned my family, I must talk about their occupations. My dad is a traffic policeman. He always keeps traffic in order on the street. He works hard yet he still love us very much. My mom is a housekeeper. She cleans our home everyday and always cooks dinners before I get home from school. My brother is a student as well. But he knows computer a lot. Whenever I have computer related questions, he is the one to help me. We all love each other in out family. We are a happy family.