這英文請幫忙修改一下 ~謝謝大家~!!

Question

Topic: Smoking
Topic sentence: Smoking is a bad behavior . even though it is very bad for health. People also like to smoke..
Causes1: Many people like smoking, probably want to try, But there is some nicotine inside.
Causes2: Due to some stresses, people have to smoke to reduce their stresses.
Cauese3: somebody probably habituated by it. So many people couldn’t refuse cigarette.
Conclusion: people get the cancer and die in the smoking.


Article text:
Smoking is a bad behavior. Even though it is very bad for health. People also like to smoke.
Many people like smoking, probably want to try, but there is some nicotine inside. Nicotine is a drugs. It is a very dangerous thing. Maybe it can be comfortable when smoker is smoking. But it finally will get some diseases.
Due to some stresses, people have to smoke to reduce their stresses. This is a bad way to reduce. Play basketball, shopping, or running can be reducing. But smoking is a worst way to do it.
Somebody probably habituated by it. So many people couldn’t refuse cigarettes. Maybe smoker have these problems. But if smoker want to live, they have to overcome.
In Taiwan, people get the cancer and die in the smoking are very much. If smoker won’t to get the cancer, they have to take precaution against cigarettes. This is a best way to keep a good health.

有什麼需要增加或需要修改的請各位英文高手幫忙ㄧ下好ㄇ~!!謝謝

Answer 1

我用括弧挑出需要改的地方
Topic: Smoking
Topic sentence: Smoking is a bad (addiction, especially) it is very bad for health. People also like (smoking)
抽煙不算是壞行為吧, 所以改成addiction
Cause 1: Many people like smoking, probably (because they) want to try it out. () The nicotine inside will cause addictions.
Cause 2: (Some) people believe (smoking can) reduce their stresses.
Cause 3: somebody probably (is) habituated by it. So many people couldn’t refuse (taking) cigarettes. 第一句不懂
Conclusion: people (would) get (cancers) and (would) die (from) smoking.

Article text:
Smoking is a bad (addiction, especially) it is very bad for health. People also like (smoking).
Many people like smoking, probably they just want to try (how it is like smoking a cigarette), but (the) nicotine, as a drug, inside (causes damages to somebody's health and possiblly causes addiction). (Smoking might comfort a smoker for a short period of time, but smoking too much could get a smoker not feeling well).
(Some) people (believe that smoking can) reduce their stresses. (I think there are the other effecitve ways to reduce stresses, such as playing) basketball, (going) shopping, or (jogging).
Somebody probably (is) habituated by it.
猜你的意思是 ====> (Smoking has become a habit to some other people.)
So many people couldn’t (say no to) cigarettes. (It seems to be a personal problem to a smoker). () If (smokers) (would like) to live (a long life), they would have to overcome (their own personal problems).
In Taiwan, (some) people (have got lung or respiratory) cancers (due to smoking heavily). (It's not for sure that every smoker would) get () cancers, they have to take precaution against cigarettes. This is a best way to keep a good (healthy lifestyle).

看了很感動, 因為你是自己擬出來的
加了些你未用到的一些字彙, 這些字會可使文章內容更為豐富
另外, 你需要學會假設語氣的用法, 還有未定語氣用法
我不是英文系的, 文法的問題你可以再Post上來問其他人

Answer 2

Topic: Smoking
Topic sentence: Smoking is a bad habit. Even though it is very bad for their health, people still like to smoke.
Cause 1: Curiosity. Many people are curious about smoking, so they want to try.
Cause 2: Stress. Some people have to smoke to reduce their stress.
Cause 3: Addition. Somebody probably addicted by it, so they couldn’t refuse cigarettes.
Conclusion: People keep smoking at the risk of losing their health to cancer.

Article text:
Smoking is a bad habit. Even though it is very bad for health, people still like to smoke.

Many people are curious about smoking, so they want to try. However, the nicotine in the cigarette is a drug and is very dangerous. Smokers may feel good when smoking, but they will eventually get sick.

Some people smoke to reduce stress, but it is a bad way to go. Play basketball, shopping, or running can be much better stress-reducer than smoking.

Other people probably are additive to smoking and couldn’t quit. Most smokers may have these problems. But if smokers want to live, they have to overcome this bad habit.

In Taiwan, many people die of cancer because of smoking. If smokers don’t want to get cancers, they have to take precaution against cigarettes. Quit smoking is the best way to stay healthy.