幫看一下，我的英文是否要攸改，謝謝！！

Question

本研究實證發現如下：
一、澎湖地區的民眾中，幾乎將近一半的人口不清楚網路銀行，甚至是完全
沒有聽過的。
二、消費者使用網路銀行的主要障礙是對網路的交易安全有所顧慮，以及覺
得使用傳統銀行（分行、ATM）就很方便，因此不願意去使用網路銀
行。
在了解原因之後，除了要讓人們對網路銀行有更深入的了解，並將人們不使用的瓶頸問題呈現出來，提供銀行未來改善的方針，另外，網路銀行也要結合更多元而便利的方式來服務客戶，以期讓網路銀行服務更多人們，也讓人們享受更多的便利。
Following were the finds:
1.Above half of Penghu citizens do not know internet banking. They even have not heard of internet banking
2.The mean consumer’s obstacles to internet banking are trade safety and being accustomed to traditional banking (branches, ATM). People think traditional banking is convenient enough to them; therefore, they are not willing to use E-Commerce services.
After a common knowledge of people’s lack of willingness to use internet banking, we prefer to present improvements to the banking authority and teach people to learn internet banking. On the other hand, the internet banking should offer more convenient combinations of financial services. We hope internet banking can bring customers and clients convenience and rapidity.

Answer 1

The FINDINGS ARE LISTED AS FOLLOWS: (看完及看懂你翻的之後才回來改這句話)
1. OVER half of THE Penghu citizens do not know internet banking. SOME OF THEM even have NEVER heard of internet banking.

2.The consumers ARE CONCERNED OF THE SAFTETY ISSUES ON THE internet banking and ARE accustomed to THE traditional banking, SUCH AS TALKING TO TELLTER AT branches AND USING AN ATM TO WITHDRAW AND DEPOSIT MONEY. OUR SURVEYS SHOW THAT people think THE traditional banking SYSTEM is convenient, therefore, they are not willing to CHANGE TO E-BANKING services.

After UNDERSTANDING THE ABOVE ISSUES, TO ENCOURAGE THE PULIC to use internet banking, we WOULD LIKE to present SOME IDEAS to the banking authority ON HOW TO improvE CURRENT E-BANKING SYSTEMS and HOW TO teach people to USE internet banking.
On the other hand, theRE IS A NEED TO INTRODUCE SOME OTHER financial services TO THE CURRENT internet banking. We hope internet banking can bring customers and clients convenience and EFFECTIVENESS.

Answer 2

This research real example is found as follows: First, among the people of the area of Penghu, nearly nearly half the population does not know the network bank, even complete There have no ones that have heard. It is that the trade to the network is worried to some extent safely that second, consumer use the main obstacle of the network bank, and think Must use the traditional bank ( Branch, ATM)  It is very convenient, so unwilling to go to use the network silver Yes. After understanding the reason, except should let people have a deeper knowledge of network bank, and present out the bottleneck question which people do not use, offer an improved policy of future to the bank, in addition network bank is it combine pluralism but convenient way serve the customer to want too, in the hope of making more people of the bank service of the network, let people enjoy more facilities too.