請英文好的人幫我改一下英文,並幫我擴充論點！

Question

如題：請英文好的人幫我改一下英文,並幫我擴充論點！（要能講三分鐘左右）
The argument of our group is to object to selling the condom in the campus. First of all, if the condom sold in the campus liberally, it would seem to attract students to buy some to try or encourage them to carry on the sexual behavior at will. Moreover, it could also make the sexual behavior overflow in the campus. Secondly, if campus sells the condom liberally, it would make campus be unable to keep proper reading atmosphere and conflict with the traditional moral concept. Although we are now living in an open society, we still do not encourage everyone especially for students to carry on the premarital sexual behavior. Last but not least, the using of condom is private business, and there is no need for us to make widely known. Even if some people really have need, they can go to the store by themselves for the purchase of the condom. Just remember, the campus is a place of studying, not a store for selling the condom. On account of these reasons I have said above, our group firmly does not approve to sell the condom in the campus liberally.

我很感謝這位"菜英文"這麼用心幫我改這篇文章︿︿
（說真的,改的很棒.也很謝謝你的誇獎）
可是...我這篇文章是要作為"辯論"用的（結論部分）
不是作文
必須要講三分鐘
所以我希望越長越好,而且口語化一點
那我還是要照這樣說嗎？
(不知道你們懂不懂我的意思)

Answer 1

羚：已照你的需要改成辯論賽講稿了，祝你們這一隊旗開得勝。Dear opponents and judges （對方辯友與評審）: Our  position is absoulute objection to selling condoms in the campus. First, School is not a drug store.  If  the condoms are sold in the campus, it only creates convenience for those who have sex impulse (性衝動). School is a place to study not a sex paradise.  The school has no obligation to help ease the social problems. Second, selling the condom infringes (侵犯）the privacy （隱私權）of all students. Although Taiwan is a very liberalized society, but sex is a highly private matter, so does the use of condoms. It is embarrassing for most students to see condom vending machines （投幣機）in the corners of school . If there is a need of this device, students can buy them from convenience stores elsewhere. Third, to have healthy sex concept through education is more important than create convenience of dispensing condoms.  Condoms are effective to prevent from undesired pregnancy and venereal diseases （性病）, but they can not help build healthy and normal relationship between sexes （異性）. The last but least point we want make is that selling condoms in the campus is a form of sex discrimination （性別歧視）. It implies that it is man's sole responsibity for birth control and disease prevention. Why the women should not share the responsibility? Why don't school allow sell birth control pills （避孕丸）in the campus?  For those who have least senses （最起碼的理性）, they will all support this team's position:  "No condoms selling in the campus!"

Answer 2

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Answer 3

The FINAL argument of our group is AGAINST THE sALE OF condomS in the campus.
(重點先提出來, 我一開始還以為你是要贊成, 看到最尾段, 才知道原來是反對者啊)
First of all, if condomS WERE sold in the campus, WHICH would ENCOURAGE students to carry on sexual CONDUCTS. THUS, it could also make the sexual CONDUCTS overflow in the campus.
Secondly, if CONDOMS CAN EASILY BE OBTAINED IN THE campus, WHICH would make THE campus unable to RETAIN proper reading ENVIRONMENT and BRING conflictS TO OUR traditional moral STANDARDS. Although we are now living in a MORE open society, IT IS NOT encourageD, especially students, to carry on A premarital sexual CONDUCT.
Last but not THE least, the usAGE of condomS is A private MATTER, and there is no need for us to make THAT widely known. Even if some people really have THE need FOR SAFE SEX' REASON, they can go to A store TO purchase condomS. Just remember, the campus is a place FOR studying not for selling condomS. On account of these STATEMENTS I have MADE above, our group firmly do not approve OF sellING condomS in the campus.

我盡量將每一句化簡化, 這樣聽者會比較容易瞭解說話者的每一個重點
算是寫的不錯的一篇文章, 意思簡明, 只是內容太簡略了, 需要再提出能打擊對方的議題出來