"特急"~~一段英文翻譯...一天20點

Question

希望可以口語化一點，謝謝!!

我的名字叫做Judy Chang，畢業於SHU-TE University Department of Leisure，Recreation and Tourism Management.目前在長頸鹿美與擔任課輔老師的工作。我認為我自己是一個非常外向且有責任心的一個人，喜歡游泳、彈鋼琴、跟小朋友玩，專長是規劃活動與活動帶領。
大學時，擔任學生活動中心、系學會、康輔社團幹部服務人群，讓我從中學習到規劃的重要性、待人接物的技巧、人際關係的建立，大學的專題製作更是培養我的邏輯觀念及激發我追求真理的意念。
大學畢業後，至福華飯店高雄店擔任服務部辦事員的工作，發現休閒產業的瞬息萬變，讓我培養了接受挑戰的勇氣及克服挑戰的成就感。在民族國小擔任英文代課老師時，小朋友天真的笑容深深感動著我，讓我決定繼續在休閒領域深造，企圖碰撞出更多的想法，並將理論與實務結合，創造出一個可令人人微笑的休閒環境。

第二段的內容這樣才對!!
大學時，擔任學生活動中心、系學會、康輔社擔任幹部，讓我從服務人群中學習到規劃的重要性、待人接物的技巧、人際關係的建立。大學的專題製作更是培養我的邏輯觀念及激發我追求真理的意念。

Answer 1

My name is named Judy Chang, graduate in SHU-TE University Department of Leisure, Recreation and Tourism Management. In giraffe's American work that the lesson complements the teacher with serve as at present. I think I am one and a very export-oriented and conscientious person, like swimming , playing the piano , playing with children, the speciality is to plan the activity and activity to lead.
When in college , serve as students in the activity centre , learn , the health complement corporation's cadre and serve crowds, let me practise from middle school to the importance of planning , setting-up of the skill of getting along with people , interpersonal relationships , logic idea of training me especially that the special topic of the university is made and exciting the idea that I pursue the truth.
After graduation from university, hold the work of the office assistant of service department to the shop of Kaohsjung of hotel of China of the good fortune , find recreation industry fast changing, let me train the courage to accept challenge and fulfillment overcoming the challenge. While serving as a English substitute teacher in the national primary school, child's innocent smile is moving me deeply, let me decide to continue taking an advanced study in the field of recreation, more ideas that attempt to collide out, and combine the theory with the practice , create a recreation environment that can make everybody smiling .
我是隨便翻的 ，你看過就好

Answer 2

只要看第一行graduate就知道文法功力的高低了

Answer 3

比較起來 是第三篇比較好

Answer 4

I’m Judy Chang, graduated from SHU-TE University Department of Leisure, Recreation and Tourism Management. Now, I teach in Giraffe America. As for my personality, I’m vigorous and responsible. I like swimming, playing piano and teaching kids. My specialty is at arranging activities , leading the project and completing them.
When being a student in university, I also played important roles such as the staffs of the student activity center of department and of Kang Fu Society. From devoting myself in these activities, I learned the importance of management, the way how to treat people kindly, and establish my social ability.
Moreover, in the university, I learned logical notion from the special report presentation, which did pursue me to reach the reality.
After graduated form school, I worked as a clerk in the Fu-Hwa hotel in Kaohsijung. I found the leisure business changing secondly. After that, I learned how to face obstructions bravely and enjoy the feeling when conquer them. .
When serving as a substitute English teacher in Ming-Chu primary school, I was deeply moved by children’s innocent smiles. That’s why I make my decision to study further in the leisure and tourism field. I try to create more ideas and hope to make them come true so as to create an enjoyable kingdom where everybody smiles.
請指教

Answer 5

這樣說好像不太好，不過上面這兩篇還滿多文法錯誤哩~

Answer 6

My name is called Judy Chang, graduates to SHU-TE University Department of Leisure, Recreation and Tourism Management. At present teaches classes the auxiliary teacher's work in giraffe America and the load. I thought I are a person which an unusual extroversion also has the sense of responsibility, likes swimming, the ball piano, plays with the child, the specialty is the plan moves and moves leads.
When university, holds the post of the student activity center, the department academic society, the Kang auxiliary mass organization cadre serves the crowd, lets I studies the plan the importance, way one treats people be skillful, the interpersonal relationship establishment, university's special manufacture is raises my logical idea and stimulates me to seek the truth the thought.

After the university graduation, holds the post of the service department office worker's work to the lucky China hotel Gaoxiong shop, discovered the leisure industry fast changing, let me raise has accepted the challenge the courage and overcomes the challenge the achievement feeling. Slightly holds the post when the national country English serves as a substitute teacher teacher, child's naive smiling face deep deep move I, am letting me decide continues to pursue advanced studies in the leisure domain, the attempt collides more ideas, and the theory and the solid service union, creates to be possible the leisure environment which smiles everybody.