我的英文自傳~贈送10點

Question

以下是我的英文自傳"基礎架構"~因為高三了~學校老師要求~是在時間有些匆促下完成的~
我想就讀的是"大眾傳播系"~請各為聰明的才子才女~幫幫我的忙~幫我審核這篇的錯誤地方~歡迎你大力的把它挑出來指正~把它的內容用ㄉ更充實點~不用太誇大的內容~有誠懇的感覺就好~^^/~謝謝您們的幫忙~
Autobiography
It's my pleasure to have this opportunity to introduce myself to you. I, Chen Yu Ni, was born on January 24, 1988 in Taichung City. You can call me Nancy. I am 17 years old. Studying in a public high school. I come from a very happy family. I am in family's eldest child. This is my. I have a big family, three generations under the same roof. I have a brother I like my family so much, because they take to me to be warm. I grow up in such family. So I became a very optimistic, moreover likes taking to the person to laugh heartily. And since I am the eldest child, it makes me an independent and responsible.
I have a wide range of hobbies. I love reading, writing, handicrafts, making the dessert and seeing movies. I have my active side as well, I enjoy swimming, hiking and going to the nature a lot. As to my personality. I am creative, optimistic, determined, willing to help others and down to earth.
Throughout my school time, I have been a regular student in study, but have excellent performance on various activities. Oratorical, Writing contests are my battlefield and the place for me to win my honor. Since childhood, I have been like to speech in front of a lot people. Also dare to display on myself. I want to unfold own ability. From childhood to now. I more and more believe firmly that is a life, which I want to walk.

Answer 1

我也是獨大眾傳播系的耶,生日也只差我一天哦
言歸正傳....
Autobiography
It's my pleasure to have this opportunity to introduce myself . I, Chen Yu Ni, was born on January 24, 1988 in Taichung City. You can call me Nancy. I am 17 years old, studying in a public high school. I come from a very happy family and that of a big family too, where three generations stay under one roof. I am the eldest and I have a younger brother. I love my family so much as they take to me to be warm. As I grown up in such a mildness family, I become very optimistic, moreover, like taking to others and laugh heartily. Since I am the eldest child, it makes me an independent and responsible person too.
I have a wide range of hobbies. I love reading, writing, handicrafts, dessert making and watching movies. I have my active side as well. I enjoy swimming, hiking and going close to the nature a lot. As to my personality, I am creative, optimistic, determined, willing to help others and down to earth.
Throughout my school time, I have been a regular student in study, but have excellent performance on various activities too. Oratorical and writing contests are my battlefield and the place where I win my honor. Since childhood, I have been fond of having speech in front of a lot people and also dare to display myself. I want to unfold my own ability. From childhood to now, I am more and more firmly believed that, this is a life which I want to walk on.

Answer 2

謝謝你們^^/~感謝您們的幫助喔~幫ㄌ我很大ㄉ忙~^^阿哩阿都~^_______^

Answer 3

最好不要用contraction, 我改了滿多的... 請看看
Autobiography
It iss my pleasure to have this opportunity to introduce myself to you. I, Chen Yu Ni, was born on January 24, 1988 in Taichung City. You can call me Nancy. I am seventeen years old, and am studying at a public high school. I come from a very happy family. I am the eldest child in my family. I have a big family with three generations under the same roof. I also have one brother. I like my family so very dearly because they gave me warmth. And it is because I grew up in such family I became a very optimistic. [Moreover likes taking to the person to laugh heartily.] Since I am the eldest child, this environment made me independent and responsible.
I have a wide range of hobbies: I love reading, writing, creating handicrafts, making desserts and watching movies. I have my active side as well: I enjoy swimming, hiking and going out to the nature. As of my personality: I am creative, optimistic, determined, willing to help others and also down to earth.
Throughout my school time, I have been a full-time student, but have excellent performance in various activities. Oratorical, Writing contests are my battlefield and the place for me to win my honor. Since childhood, I liked to give speechs in front of an audience and was never shy to display who I really am. I want to be the best orator that I can be. Eversince childhood, I wanted to become an orator, and now I have more confidence than ever before that becoming an orator is the life which I want to walk.

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對了.. [] 起來的地方是... 我不知道你想說什麼... 所以就跨起來