麻煩大家幫我修改好嗎? 我投履歷用的 ^_^ 謝謝

Question

這是我的英文自傳 已經看了好幾遍 怕寫錯對找工作有影響 請大家幫忙我修改的更正確流暢好嗎 如果有其他的建議 (會不會太冗長 還有興趣有必要寫嗎........) 也請一併告訴我好嗎 謝謝

My first job was an auditor. Our Firm mainly offers traditional assurance and tax services, as well as specialized services, including corporate finance, and company registration services. CPA opened tax low and audit low courses for auditor to attend. I got many professional training in this job. Because work experience combine with accounting theory, professional judgment and skill is deeply in my mind.

For the long distance between my home and my first job, I quit the Accounting Firm in Taipei.
In order to get more professional training and accounting experience, therefore, I still choose in accounting Firm in Keelung. Most company in Keelung are Small Corporation. Every bookkeeper needed to service and booked 40 companies a month. In my second job,. Work efficiency and react quickly is needed.

For work after half a year, I wanted transfer my job to an enterprise accountant. Dynasty air/ocean freight co.gived me a lot of work to learn to do. I realized how a company to modify their management by financial report. I could present company process in accounting eagle. Because my further traing. I do my job very well, my accounting manager also appreciated my work apprence.

In three jobs in the service industry, I learned good service manner and patience. I believe that living ability comes from real experience, not just theories in books. If I work for your company, I will strive to deepen my knowledge in my specialization Please kindly give me a chance to let me introduce myself. I will provide more personal details for your reference. Thank you.

Answer 1

寫的不錯呀，履歷表本來就是要強調優點
我注意到幾個文法的錯誤，供參
My first job was an auditor. Our Firm mainly offers traditional assurance and tax services, as well as specialized services, including corporate finance and company registration services. （finance段面的逗點去掉）CPA opened tax low and audit low courses for auditor to attend. （這句意思不太了）I got many professional training in this job. Because work experience combine with accounting theory, professional judgment and skill is deeply in my mind. 　（我覺得這樣比較簡潔It's a great experience to combine accounting theory,professional judgment and skill.)

For the long distance between my home and my first job, I quit the Accounting Firm in Taipei. （Because of the long distance between home and company,....)
In order to get more professional training and accounting experience, therefore, I still choose in accounting Firm in Keelung. (therefore去掉，用２個連接詞，沒有主句）Most company(companies,你動詞用多數) in Keelung are Small Corporation. Every bookkeeper needed to service and booked（去掉ed,因為你用and連接兩個動詞，要用同樣原形動詞) 40 companies a month. In my second job,. （In...建議去掉，要用to work）Work efficiency and react quickly is needed.

For work (For...去掉，After...)after half a year, I wanted transfer my job to an enterprise accountant. Dynasty air/ocean freight co.gived ( 錯字，gave才對) me a lot of work to learn to do. （這句怪怪的，你要不要乾脆說I joined D....,and learned a lot.)I realized how a company to (to去掉，這個子句才有動詞）modify their management by financial report. I could present company process in accounting eagle. （這句看不懂）Because my further traing. （前面去掉）I do my job very well, my accounting manager also appreciated my work apprence. ( impressed by my performance.我想強調主管對你的表現印象深刻)

In three jobs in the service industry, （Through my previous jobs藉由之前的工作)I learned good service manner and patience. I believe that living ability comes from real experience, not just theories in books. If I work for your company, I will strive to deepen my knowledge in my specialization（個人覺得這句有點多餘，也怪怪的） Please kindly give me a chance to let me introduce myself. I will provide more personal details for your reference.

Answer 2

I worked as an auditor in an accounting firm right after graduated from college.  The firm practices tranditional assurance, tax services, corporate finance, consulting and company registration services.  I obtained solid knowledge in tax law and audit law through onsite professional trainings offered by the firm's CPAs.  This work experience well equipped me with practical accounting principle, professional judgment and skill.My second job was auditor as well at a smaller accounting firm in Keelung.  The majority of clients are small corporations where my professional services were rendered.  As a result, I became very efficient on time management and very effective on multiple tasks. I am a corporate accountant at Dynasty Air/Ocean Freight Corporation now. I am familar with corporate accounting cycle, and have been involved in financial report preparation which provided useful accounting information for the top management.  My work has been really appreciated in my company. My years of experience in the accounting field is a hugh bonus. If I had the chance to work for your company, I shall present you with my expertise in a professional manner. Detailed reference are available upon request.  Thank you.

Answer 3

我的意見是......
履歷還是忠實的呈現自我較好!!