Do you think that childlessness bothers men more than women?

Question

According to the following article it does:

http://www.healthscout.com/news/1/609234/main.html

"Women are more comfortable with the idea of childlessness than men, new research shows, and the surprise finding might really reflect differences in how each gender views the pressures of parenthood"

"1962 is the tail end of the Baby Boom, and there definitely was a feeling that having children was what everybody did. The attitudes were definite and specific. Those who couldn't were regarded with pity, and those who could but didn't were disrespected."

According to the article things have changed. Please read

Which is your opinion?

p.s. I was surprised by this article, therefore I am curious about what you all think. It is not a criticism about having or not having children.

Answer 1

This is not so surprising to me. Women are starting to realize the potential for something other than motherhood in the world. There are now many areas where a woman can feel fulfilled by a career and no longer be judged by the fact that they are not having children. Nothing has really changed in that area for men. The fact that most women who have children end up having them cared for by others no doubt mitigates the maternal instinct of women who are childless. Seeing the difficult juggling game career women with children have to plan would be enough to tilt the scale towards having children only because they want to and not because they are expected to.

Answer 2

interesting opinion question. I do not think there is really a right or wrong answer here, for every need is different. I am a 40 year old male who does not have any children so i understand the question quite well. In my 20's i always wanted them. I tried marriage, but my ex and i could not make it work even after 2 years of counseling and we both agreed to divorce. the 14 years we were together, we never had kids due to the business that we owned and other work which we did out side. it just never "seemed like a good time" to have them. I know that when we later talked about it, we both agreed that we both wanted them and felt sorry that we never had them, but i am not sure i agree with the study that was listed. I know that mother hood for her was a big deal more for the fact that there would always be someone in her life. I think it was a comfort issue in that when she was old someone would look after her and visit her. It seemed like she would live her later years threw her child and this thought seemed to give her some kind of secure feeling.
For me it was different. I like kids and thought of it the same but in reverse. it was for security when i was old, but for a sense of purpose when i was younger. To me it made sense of things and gave meaning to all the "BS" that is dished out in life and at work. It seemed that i knew why i was working hard and that promise of kids kept me focused and driven because it is different when you have the responsibility of young ones added to the mix. Now that i am older and still do not have kids, i some times see young couples with them and feel the desire to have one, but it is short lived and i am not sure of the reason. I do not agree with the article in that it is primal. men do not confuse sex with having children. at least honest ones don't. the truth is we would have sex for the sex. Fathers do not become fathers for the first time by telling the girl they want kids now a days. the mothers tell the fathers that is what they are going to be and the fathers accept it. The stereo typical scene where the wife tells the father is based on some truth weather you are dealing with leave it to beaver or meet the Ozborn's.

Answer 3

It surprises me too. Intersting that the data is over 13 years old. I wonder if they went back and surveyed the same women if the results would be different. It certainly captures an attitude of the era - the late 80s and early 90's. For baby boomers it would be at the "its now or neverr stage" for having a child. You'd have to believe that women at that age who decided not to have a child would be justifying it pretty strongly. Do women today feel the same way?

Answer 4

The bad thing about this type of psychological or opinion research is that they are oftenly misconducted and misinterpreted. Behavior and response are strongly influenced by several things, such as who is asking, what, when and how is being asked, the cultural background of each subject, current news, environment, and go on. People (including journalists) rarely know how relative suck kind of results are, and how careful the interpretation have to be. I've seen too many stupid assertives about this kind of research at news to believe them. Today I try to check out the procedures and the results to believe at the conclusions (this is hard to do, so most of the times I ignore them).

Nonetheless, if that is true, I believe that it has to be cultural. To be a mother nowadays is hard, harder than to be a father. Woman got the same kind of work and financial responsibilities than man, but woman can´t leave children home to work late as easily than man can. Children-mother bounds are stronger than children-father bounds, and that makes woman and children suffer too much. Nowadays, parenthood is harder for woman than for man, and maybe that explains why woman are getting comfortable with "childlessness".

Answer 5

It always made sense to me. Read some evolutionary psychology, it makes things a lot more interesting.

Men are nature's crapshoot. That's why there are more men at the extremes of intelligence, among other things. To be successful at life's Great Biological Purpose, he has to send his genes on down. That's what he's basically built to do.

If he's a reproductive failure, it means he's basically failed.

The fact that women have the physical risks probably also has an impact, but I don't like it when men are sidelined in the debate.

Answer 6

The more I think about it the more it makes sense. It's usually the man that passe's his name down so he might feel less if he doesn't. On the most part the mans role has stayed the same since the baby boom but women's roles have increased to take care of the children and work.

That's really interesting. Kudo's for the bringing this up in a legitimate way.

Answer 7

I think it does bother them more than women because it blows the commonly held stereotype that women are nurturing and want to care for someone else. I happen to know that not all women are like that. I have children and I care about them a great deal but I don't extend those feelings to other children. I just can't do it. I'm not as maternal or nurturing as a lot of other women are.

Answer 8

I was very surprised at this article, too. My fiance actually sent it to me because he felt it exemplified his views very well. I, on the other hand, would be much more comfortable with adoption than he would be. Women have also taken childbearing much more into their hands with the advent of the birth control pill. Perhaps that has changed our attitudes some.

For him, there is something about passing on his own DNA that is important. For me, the DNA is less important. My children can still be my children even if I did not give birth to them.

Answer 9

the affection question is demanding for numerous motives. A)women folk ask it each and all of the time, each couple of days or hours..B)and abruptly. The couple would have a staggering time, dinner and such and and he or she would be able to unexpectedly say it. C)there isn't answer a guy provides as D)women folk purely ask to commence a combat. They the two would desire to experience it. women folk are greater verbal then men. women folk communicate lots each and all of the time and communicate feeling and emotions and bond via speaking. men are lots greater non-verbal and communicate by utilising actual movements.

Answer 10

i definately think women now believe it is okay to be childless and i think that's b/c we've been through a lot of changes and have faced a lot of disapproval anyway - and got thru it. men have gone through fewer changes - they have, for sure, but not as many - they can still have a career & family - it's not even a question to them, it's a statment.

personally, i tell men up front that at this point in my life i don't want children. some men have walked away. that's okay, i respect that. i think it's much easier for them to have a family, though. for me, i consider it a humungous (sp?) decision!