racist friend?

Question

Ok well my best friend (who is a guy) has this younget sister.She is 22. I wanted to go look at some houses. I asked her if she wanted to come with. I found this really cute house and so i got out of my car to look at it more. there was a group of people who where sitting on the porch at the house next door. they came over and asked if i bought the house. I said no, but that i loved it. they shook my hand, told me thier names and told me that if i ever moved in they would help. Very nice people. well i got back into my car and asked anna what she thought and she says " well the house is nice, but it has black people living next door. so do even think abou ther house anymore" I was floored and very mad at her. I told her that was not right. so anyways i go to drop her off and her mom ask me if i still was coming for dinner on thanksgiving and i told her no. Now my best friend and his family are real mad at me. Do i explain why i do not want to come or should i go in spite of the crap.

Answer 1

i would go in spite of it. he's your best friend and he didn't say it, his sister did. maybe tell him why you were upset and said no. he may even agree with you and decide to have a talk with her as well.

Answer 2

Oh man, I LOATHE racist jerks.
So is the whole family this way or just the sister? If the whole family is going to sit around passing out white sheets, then I would definitely forego Thanksgiving. I could not tolerate listening to that BS for a whole dinner and it would be VERY uncomfortable. However, if it's just the sister with the problem, then go to the dinner..you can ignore that idiot for a little bit. And you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings.

Answer 3

Yes that was racist and that sounds childish and ignorant! So what that they're black? They didn't cause any tention or harm against either of you so what the ***** the big deal? And considering how she said it, she said it because she had nothing else to say that was positive so she blabbed about them being black.? Like come on now

Answer 4

No, Explain to her mother why you are doing this. If she doesn't understand, You're not missing much. You have the right to go or not go. If your feelings about this situation can't be accepted, then you shouldn't go. It's tough when a friend just becomes something so surprising and hate full. You are caught in this surreal place you never expected to windup in. Talking about it makes it worse. I don't envy you. You make family and friends angry, and there is no good way to proceed. Explain the problem you have, with her mother and hopefully you can get at least her parents to ease up on you. Good Luck

Answer 5

Talk to your best friend about what his sister said, and that it offended you. Ask if there is a reason for her dislike of coloured people, maybe she generalizes them from something one did to her years ago...some people unintentionally hold an entire race or gender responsible for something that only one did.Not a good excuse, but it happens.He is your best friend, he'll understand and more than likely wouldn't want to put you through something that would make you uncomfortable and will also most likely talk to his sister....You didn't mention what his sister's reaction was to your telling her that you didn't like her comment....that also plays a big factor....But talk to your friend and be truthful before anything.

Answer 6

Does she not realize this is 2007. Tell her to get a grip on reality. Ask her if she had a child and it needed a heart would she deny her child a heart if it came from a black person, we are the same inside. I have never got the whole racist thing. We should have to wear masks so they just got to know us for us. It is what is on the inside that counts

Answer 7

Yes, you should definitely explain why you do not want to go. You have a very reasonable explanation for not going. After all is said, I'm sure that your best friend and his family (except for the sister) will no longer be mad at you. His sister was definitely being racist, and you have every right to feel anger towards her for making that comment.

Answer 8

She's entitled to her opinion but should at least have the decency to stick with what you asked her. You didn't ask her what she thought of the neighborhood, or even the neighbors. I'd go to Thanksgiving with your friend and if his sister starts pulling that crap again, tell him you want to leave.

Answer 9

Yes, you explain why. Actually what you should have done was call her out on her comment when she said it. But now, you should explain, because they think you're a flake for backing out of dinner. Maybe they have some sort of explanation -- that might not excuse her comment, but at least will give you some understanding as to why it was said.

And, if the relationship goes sour, seriously consider getting that house. At least you know she won't come around. Kinda makes you wonder about your best friend's beliefs too.

Good luck! =D

Answer 10

Absolutley not! If that girl feels like that she had to get it from somewhere and family is where we learn these things. Why would you go fellowship with people and you feel uncomfortable around them?
So what if they get mad!
Go spend your Thanksgiving with nice people not bigots. If I was having dinner I'd invite you over.

Answer 11

Go and just explain that you don't share the same views on the subject and would like for her not to bring those things up in your presence. You don't have to agree with what others think but they should respect what you think and not make you feel uncomfortable.