Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last
straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I
had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand
new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and
wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that
doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the
first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my
mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment, And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven
years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was
a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars last night, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica this morning. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
2007-10-22 08:52:45 · 18 answers · asked by Indian Princess 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
saweeeeeeeeeeeeet! LOL OMGGGGGGGGG I just sent that to my boss and some employees to brighten their day. GREAT JOB! Star!
2007-10-22 09:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by Rick R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lol Very Funny
2007-10-22 09:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of direction! build a time device, bypass back in time, and stop your self from ever sending those grimy photos of your self to the female you're cheating on your lady buddy with :D Nah guy, i do no longer think of you're able to do this. in line with probability, i'm no longer a genius, purely an extremely sarcastic guy or woman.
2016-10-07 10:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant - I read that through twice before typing this answer where it was so good lol
2007-10-22 09:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-10-22 13:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmaooo hahahahahahaahha sucks for himmm
2007-10-22 09:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha roflmao xx good one !
2007-10-22 08:58:34 · answer #7 · answered by floss♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
that wus crazy
2007-10-22 08:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by Vela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great!!!
2007-10-22 09:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by HONORARIUS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great!! That is awesome~
2007-10-22 09:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋