Do young mothers really make more mistakes?

Question

I was nineteen when my older daughter was born. Way young. Probably TOO young. And I, no doubt, made some mistakes with her.

But now she's 4 years old and we're doing fine while my 30 something year old friend is getting ready to have her first- all the angst I had about being a new mom is coming up again in the questions she's asking and the advice she is now seeking from me.

Do you think age really has as much to do with it as maturity and experience? I'm 23 years old and have given potty training advice to women twice my age before. I don't understand why everyone thinks children of young mothers are at such a disadvantage- all mothers learn at the same pace- NOBODY knows anything about being a parent when the first baby is born. You may think you do, but you don't...

Answer 1

Yes your right. Mothers don't start learning how to actually be a mother until they become a mother. So age doesn't matter.

Answer 2

I had my daughter 17 days after I turned 20, so I was about the same age as you.

And I agree. I've made mistakes, but EVERY parent makes mistakes with their children, it's a learning process, because no matter how much help you have, babies don't come with instructions.

And same here, I've given advice to people twice my age (I'll be 22 next month) about their children. Everyone compliments how well behaved my daughter is, and especially how intelligent she is.

I honestly think that while age may be a factor for some people, it's not always. A 15 year old girl that has never had a taste of the real world or any experience as an adult may have a hard time because of her age and maturity, but there's plenty of 20 year olds that are just as mature as the 40 year old that lives next door.

I think the bottom line is that if you're ready for a child, whether you be 18 or 40, and you feel you can handle the responisiblity, then you're no better off waiting until you're 30.

Answer 3

I believe all mothers make mistakes, and that is throughout their child's entire life. Every mother started out as a new mother, whether she had a child at 16 or her first at 30. It is unfamiliar and new territory for any woman, so therefore, many mistakes will be made and usually when the second child comes along, you are much more at ease because you've been thru it already. I've always felt, to be honest, that young mothers were at more of an ADVANTAGE with having children because they have more patience. The older you get, the less patience you have and I believe you make more mistakes that way. I don't think children are at a disadvantage at all unless they are born to mothers who are neglectful, and age has no relevence there.

Answer 4

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my now 2 year old and then i got pregnant when i was 19 with my now 1 year old and now I am turning 21. I have given advice too already to women who are older than me and having their first. Age has nothing to do with how well you are being a mother. It just has to do with how much you put into it. there are plenty of people who are older that you or I and they cannot handle parenting. My mother was 21 when she had my sister, my mother in law was 19 when she had my brother inlaw. Dont worry about being a young mother. Im not and so are many of my friends that were teens too and had a baby or two.

Answer 5

Not all children of young mother's are at a disadvantage, but statistically more children of young mother's are at a disadvantage. Lots of women who are 19 or younger are still basically children themselves and don't really have the emotional maturity to raise children. Plus if they are often not able to be financially responsible for their kids either. I have known lots and lots of young mothers who would rather go out partying with their friends than stay home with their kids. And if the kids are lucky they get dumped on grandma, but some kids aren't that lucky and they are neglected. Of course I have known some 30 somethings who lacked the emotional maturity to be good mother's too. You just can't lump a certain group of people together and say this is how they all are.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. Nobody knows anything really about being a parent when the first baby is born really. Every child has his or her personality, every child had their moments, and every child develops differently. There are several books on raising a child, you can't always go by the book. Dr. Spock baby and childcare book is huge to read. I had my son when I was 29 years old. I am 34 now. I never neglected my son at all. All I do is give him love and I have learned a lot of patience and understanding. I wasn't rich when he was a baby. I had love to offer and encouragement to give to him. He learned a lot on his own, not wanting the help. He wanted to do things on his own at his own pace. Which is fine with me. That way he is learning skills as well.

You have to cue into your baby's needs. My son didn't start to go # 2 until he was just about to turn 4 years old. One day he was in his pull up and I guess he didn't like the feeling of #2 in his pullup anymore. So, he decided to go on the toilet instead. He was doing #1 in the toilet when he was 2.5 years old, right before he started preschool. I have been a single mom for 4 years in total. My son is fine as well. He is a normal happy kid. He is very social, he loves to play outside, he has friends and he loves arts and crafts the best in his Kindergarten class. He has a best friend named Brooklyn in his class and plays with her all the time.

All kids have their up and down days, just like adults. We sometimes forget that they are people too, only smaller.

Answer 7

Mothers of all ages make mistakes, but some of the younger ones tend to make more mistakes. By younger, I don't just mean teen mothers, I've also seen women in their 20's make mistakes too. Usually instead of staying home and watching the baby, they go out with their friends to drink, smoke and party all night long. I've heard of so many cases where young mothers leave to go out and party and when they get back their baby is dead. But no, age doesn't have much to do with maturity or experience. It's just that people expect older people to be more mature and more experienced only.

Answer 8

You are so right! When I first became a mom, I was 32 and had no idea what to do. I worried about everything. There was plenty of people to help me (hmm) but they just worried me. For instance, one mother told me that she had her son potty trained before he was one. Another told me that her baby was off the pacifer within 2 months. I worried constantly about my son developing properly, or if I was a good mother. Well, guess what? He grew to be a normal, healthy, smart boy. New mothers shouldn't worry so much. Their babies are unique, and everyone doesn't do the same stuff on the same schedule. If I had a piece of advice, I would say, relax and enjoy your baby. Everything will be fine.

Answer 9

The mistakes made by young mother's are that most are not mature enough to realize they have made a mistake. No mother is perfect but being mature enough to know when to seek help is a must. When you become a mother at a young age are you really ready to put the baby first?

Answer 10

well not really some young mothers do better than older mothers couse younger .m. can run with them play with them and do More things than older .m. so u no i no couse i have a young mom and people say that she is so much fun and she can do a lot More and older moms can to but the may Handel them a little bit better but u are there mother so it does not matter even if my mom was old i would still love her the same so well hope i was a little help to u and i am the best answer [just kidding] Sammy

Answer 11

I think maturity level has more to do with it than age.

I didn't have my 1st child until I was 28 year old. I can say, for me, that I learned a lot from my friends mistakes by observing them (they all had children long before I did).

I think, mostly, you learn as you go and it doesn't matter how old you are.