LAST ONE FOR TODAY!! Little johnny jokes STAR if funny?

Question

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?" Suzie replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first!"

"What a wonderful answer!" the Nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."

The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'O God, I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her.

One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking about their dads.

Lil Johnny; My daddy is tougher than yours!

Arnie; No way bud, my daddy is bad!

Lil Johnny; I'm telling you man, my dad is badder than yours.

Arnie; Man, my dad is so bad he took the motor out of his car with his bare hands and threw it on the ground! THATS how bad he is!

Lil Johnny; Man that is pretty bad, but my dad is badder than that! Arnie;Oh yaeh? How's that?

Lil Johnny;My dad is so bad that he eats light bulbs.

Arnie; Huh? No way. Have you seen him do that?

Lil Johnny; No, but I was passing by him and mom's bedroom door the other night and heard him tell mom "Turn out that light so I can eat that thing," THAT's how bad he is!

Little Johnny goes to class one day to find that he has a substitute teacher. As the class gets settled the teacher writes her name on the board and says, "My name is Ms. Prussy, that's P-R-U-S-S-Y." Some of the kids in classs snicker and she says sharply, "That's WITH an R!"

So class goes by and the kids come to school the next day and there is the substitute again. She stands up in front of the class and says, "Okay students, who can remember my name? And don't forget the R!" About five hands go up and Dirty Johnny is one of them. He is jumping up and down trying to get her attention.

The teacher says, "Okay Johnny, what is my name?" To this Johnny replies, "Ms. Crunt, C-R-U-N-T!!"

LAST ONE
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Answer 1

thank you....Ive got a stitch lol..

Answer 2

oh my goddd. That was fun fun fun now my Daddy's take the T Bird away. Doh ..... where was I? Really good (you're not making this stuff up are you? Hehe have to remember that one.
With acknowledgements to the Beach Boys for kindly NOT giving me permission to reproduce their lyrics.

ps Have you EVER tried to spell acknowledgements? bloody stupid (bleep) (bleep) word

Answer 3

Thats my favourite little johnny at hi outrageous best
stared

Answer 4

Good one and worth a star

Answer 5

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 6

Good ones.

Answer 7

LOL those were hilarious star 4 u!!!

Answer 8

ha ha

Answer 9

funny

Answer 10

Cute...