So this girl and I have been friends going on four or five years now. She has a fiance who I don't know so well, but her and I get along really well. About two months ago, I realized that I was in love with her and resolved, after much stomach-churning, to let her know. She didn't seem off-put, but of course, she's taken.
So yeah, I guess my questions are as follows:
- I feel morally wrong about my love for her. Being in love with someone who is taken, it makes me feel like a homewrecker or something. Is this normal?
- Is it wrong to kinda root for them to break up? It makes me feel like a terrible friend, heh.
- Should I continue to pursue my feelings for her or try my hardest to just stay friends, as painful as that is?
Thanks.
2007-06-13 09:29:19 · 8 answers · asked by Matt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So this girl and I have been friends going on four or five years now. She has a fiance who I don't know so well, but her and I get along really well. About two months ago, I realized that I was in love with her and resolved, after much stomach-churning, to let her know. She didn't seem off-put, but of course, she's taken.
So yeah, I guess my questions are as follows:
- I feel morally wrong about my love for her. Being in love with someone who is taken, it makes me feel like a homewrecker or something. Is this normal?
- Is it wrong to kinda root for them to break up? It makes me feel like a terrible friend, heh. I truly believe he's not good enough for her.
- Should I continue to pursue my feelings for her or try my hardest to just stay friends, as painful as that is?
Thanks.
2007-06-13 09:33:30 · update #1
- I feel morally wrong about my love for her. Being in love with someone who is taken, it makes me feel like a homewrecker or something. Is this normal?
It is absolutely normal. Have you ever heard that quote "Love is a crime?" Well there ya go. It's a feeling that can pop out of no where or eventually build itself up without us knowing it. When we actually realize that we're in love, it's hard to get rid of that feeling.
- Is it wrong to kinda root for them to break up? It makes me feel like a terrible friend, heh.
To be 100% honest, yes it is wrong to root for them to break up. One of the hardest thing ever in life (in my opinion) is to see someone who you love with someone else. It's painful, but you must learn how to cope with it. Don't go and break the girl's boyfriend's heart just because you want her.
- Should I continue to pursue my feelings for her or try my hardest to just stay friends, as painful as that is?
Now this, I cannot tell you. It is all up to you but I must tell you to make the right decision. Ask her how she feels about you. About her boyfriend. About the whole situation.
2007-06-13 09:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're her friend. You must respect her feelings and judgment. No matter what you're feeling, it doesn't justify interfering in someone's serious relationship. She'll need you as a friend.
It's a tough situation, but you're going to have to suck it up and be a good person. Your concern is legitimate, as are your feelings, but the fact that you have these feelings for her does not warrant taking action. What feels natural is not always right.
2007-06-13 09:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by hbomb8404 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this same problem with a boy. I think it is best for u to leave it along because u will hurt yourself. I tried it and found out that my love didn't take they apart but bring together. Because they already had something . I was trying to get something.
2007-06-13 09:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jarmaine R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has made her choice. She is engaged to be married to another man and she is aware of your feelings. There is nothing to pursue here. Leave it alone and continue to be her friend. There is nothing 'wrong' with your feelings.
2007-06-13 09:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and find a girl that is (SINGLE) if you try to break them up, bad karma will be heading your way
2007-06-13 09:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matt, Dude she is spoke for, back off ! If you were in his shoes isn"t that what you would want ? You missed this one but there will be another !
2007-06-13 09:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man ur just a bit late ..........this thing happens to many n if ur a real good friend then just dont try to poke into "their" matters............it seems rude but its the fact
2007-06-13 09:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Paddy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing she is with someone else.
2007-06-13 09:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋