im having an abortion and im having alot of guilt?

Question

i want to keep the baby but im only 14yrs and my boyfriend is only 16yrs we both the baby but we have no way to support this baby i can see the hurt in his eyes now that i schduled the appointment for the abortion is there a way to deal with this pain i need help

Answer 1

Did you think of giving it up for adoption? There are a lot of women who can't have children. I myself do not believe in abortion so I personally would say not to do it. In the end it is your decision though. You are very young. Talk to your parents about it.

Answer 2

Honey the guilt you are feeling is because you know it's wrong and you don't want to do it. What do your parents think about this? Are they forcing this decision on you? While I agree that 14 is way to young to be a mother, I think that there's a reason for everything. Won't they allow you to at least carry the baby to term and then place it for adoption. If you had an OPEN adoption you still will be allowed to see the child and get pictures and learn about the child as they grow up, but it would be raised by a family who would love it. There are also homes that take in unwed mothers who are under age and support you with housing and food and stuff until you are old enough to take care of yourselves if you really want to keep this baby. Don't have an abortion because someone told you to or else. There are places that can help and people that can help....maybe some in your own family like an aunt, uncle, cousin or something. Don't give up, if you want this baby you can make it happen and if you don't the guilt will eat at you for a long time. XX Good luck!

Answer 3

if youre feeling guilty now, and you havent even gone then i wouldnt go through with it. not to mention no respectable clinic caring for womens reproductive rights and health will perform an abortion for you if you seem even the least bit heasitant. Make an appointment at planned parenthood to speak to a counselor. That's what I did when I found ut I was pregnant, and I felt really guilty about having an abortion even though I thought it was best. I spoke to the counselor, decided what was best for me and now im fixing to have a little girl in 4 months. I am pro-choice, and I think women should defend their reproductive rights, and I think that you are way too young to have a baby but that doesn't mean that having an abortion is the right choice for you. I know it's hard to even imagine, but you could potentially put this baby up for adoption, either with a member of your family until youre ready to be a mom, or to a private family through an agency. Whatever the RIGHT choice is for you, you'll know once you decide. Guilt is not a sign of the right choice, and you do have other options.

Answer 4

It is very good that you both can admit that you won't be able to properly care for this baby. However, have you considered giving it to people who will care for it? There are so many people out there that want babies of their own and simply can not get pregnant. Why not give them the gift of life and give your child the gift of a good life too? If you both don't really want to have an abortion I think you will serious regret it later. It's something you can't take back or undo so you need to be 100% positive. Good luck, and I really think you should research adoption in your area before making a choice. Also, you could look into Open Adoption which is where you can pick the parents and usually still have some form of contact.

Answer 5

OH, PLEASE don't abort the baby.....
If you can not get help from your parents or his, place the baby up for adoption.....or you can give the baby to ME.....I had to have a hysterectomy at an early age and would love & child.
I don't have anything against abortion if it is done for the right reasons, but this is not one of them.
I am really sorry if this sounds harsh...but I have really strong feelings about this. There are way to many women who would do ANYTHING to be able to have a child!
Please, talk it over with the parents......the baby does NOT deserve to die because it's parents are to young to take care of it.
You should have known the chance of this happening when you had sex.
I don't want to preach to you, but I know that is how it is going to come out.
If you are going to mess around and can NOT handle the consequences, than either you should NOT be having sex or you need to start being responsible and using some type of protection!

Answer 6

You are probably having a guilt trip laid on you by a lot of people who don't approve of abortion. But it isn't any of their business and it isn't about anything but the all-round right thing for everybody concerned. You made a mistake and you and your boyfriend, who are still both kids yourself, do not deserve to be punished the rest of your life for doing, after all, what your hormones pushed you into doing. What do you and your boyfriend think you could possibly give to a child? You both desperately need to continue your education, and this foetus doesn't have a mind to think with and to know anything when it is aborted. You are already here in this world and you are going to need to work very hard the both of you to make a life for yourselves with hopefully a very long future ahead of you.
You deserve every chance you can take to prepare yourself for the future, and a time when you can choose to have a family when you are ready.
The choice is going to have to be yours in the end, of course, but what you should NOT do is let yourself be pushed into making a decision by people making you feel guilty about abortion. Another thing to remember is that under present laws, if you had the child and gave it up for adoption, that child has the right, 18 years from now, to find out who you are, and walk right back into your life. By that time you will probably be married, raising a family, and here comes this stranger out of thin air. There have been some happy reunions, but there have also been some very unhappy ones, so you just never know. One way or another, having the child will alter your life, and, while your boyfriend might feel hurt about the idea of you aborting this baby that you started together, I guarantee it is going to be a whole lot less hurtful than dealing with the consequences of having and keeping this child. You will always be short of money and you may never get yourselves out of the hole that you will be falling into. Others may tell you differently, but remember what I am saying. Those other people aren't the ones going to end up in that hole. You are.

Answer 7

This is a hard decision. You have a lot of options. Is there no one in your family that can take care of it? Maybe an aunt? What about your mother? You can also give it up for adoption. Additionally, if it is ok with your school you could also have the baby and still go to school. Bear in mind that you have to be strong because of all the ridicule from other students. Can you live that down?

You can explain to him that you all are very young and not working so would be unable to support it. Also, that right now you are too young to be having a baby and need to plan for the future. You need your education and a baby now would only hamper you. You have your whole life ahead of you to get more. He might not be please now but later he would be glad that you made that decision.

Tell him that if you keep it that he could be charged for having sex with a minor.

This is a decision that you have to sit down with your parents, his parents and him to decide.

If it was me, I know what I would have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

I'm sorry you have to face such a difficult situation at such a young age. I support the right to have an abortion, but its not the right decision for everyone. Is having the baby and then letting it be adopted an option? If you happen to be caucasian, there are many more people looking to adopt than there are available children. No matter what your race, there is a good chance someone would adopt your baby. I think you are probably too young to realistically consider raising this child yourself.
Talk to an adult you trust. Get some counseling if you can. There are no easy choices in situations like this, but make the best choice you can. If you decide to abort, do it sooner,not later. Good luck.

Answer 9

I got pregnant when I was 15. It was 1973 - and the baby was half black - and I was living in South Carolina. Not good. My Mom was an angel when she found out. I went to an "unwed mother's home" (I don't know if they even have those any more) - had the baby - and gave it up for adoption. I was not capable of raising the child. I didn't throw the responsibility on my Mom. Somebody who wanted a baby got to have one. I have never felt guilty. (Stupid maybe - but not guilty)

I tell people all the time. Don't have sex unless you're ready to raise a baby, kill a baby, or give a baby away. Those were my choices. They are yours too. I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 10

As someone who has been trying for quite a while to get pregnant and has not yet succeeded, it hurts to hear you say that you are going to end the precious gift of life for a child. I would urge you to deeply consider putting this child up for adoption so that someone out there who very much wants a child but can't have one on their own can love that baby for a lifetime. I know it is hard to think of giving up a child but the pain of that abortion will haunt you forever and knowing you did a wonderful thing for your child and an infertile couple will be a much easier thing to deal with in the long run. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 11

I'm sorry you're going through this at such a young age. I wish the best for you. The two of you will make it through this - it sounds like you have a very good boyfriend. Have you considered putting the child up for adoption? I only ask because even women who have no guilt prior to an abortion feel tremendous guilt AFTER the fact...if you're having this guilt now, your mind is telling you what you're about to do (even though you don't want to) is wrong. Trust your instincts, and look for alternitives. Abortion will not solve this problem, it will only make matters harder. If adoption is at all possible for you, please consider it - it won't cost you a dime, and will save three lives: you, your bf, and most importantly, your child's. Best of luck, whatever you do.