I get hurt emotionally so often. How do some people have such a deep skin::?

Question

Really, some people are so sure of themself that they don't get their feelings hurt. They spring in to action and they are empowered by people who hurt them.

Me on the other hand am hurt and get depressed.
help?

Answer 1

I think you mean 'thick skin'. You shouldn't rush into relationships and have more realistic expectations as most relationships don't work out ... it's called dating. Enjoy it while you can! :-)

Answer 2

A thick skin is learned , developed over time so to speak. For example. If you rub a certain area on your skin it will become raw and sore. If you comtinue to rub the same spot it will eventually become calloused and hard. Same with emotions. That is one way. On the other hand, some people are so self centered, care for no one or anything but themselves. They dont worry about hurting other people as long as THEY are happy. NO conscious so to speak. THEY will be the ones to fall the hardest of all in due time though. EVERYONE has a weak spot and/or breaking point. They haven't run into someone harder than them yet to break their spirit or heart(s). What goes around comes around. I'm a firm believer in this. Just takes longer for some than others.
Stay sweet. It is a good quality. Tuff, but good.
Still others can hide it better when their feelings are hurt. You dont know how many times they cry alone at night, do you? And they sure wont admit it to anyone.

Answer 3

You and me both. ;)
personally, from what I have seen of people there are two types. the ones who are better at putting up a front and those who aren't so good at it.
all people get hurt inside in the same way, but each person has their own way of dealing with it.
unfortunately for some of us we are so very tuned into our own emotions that our minds must articulate every nuance of emotion. it's not a bad thing, it's actually a sign of inteligence.

What helps me when I am getting down is to stop thinking about it and concentrate on the moment, right now. Don't think about anything that happened before, or what'll happen in the future, just take a deep breath, look around you at all of the little things that're happening right now. (It helps to take things one moment at a time.)

Answer 4

We are all wired differently emotionally. Part of it is nature and part of it is nuture. But, the good thing is that being human you have the oppertunity to make a free choice and change.

You know that you need to toughen your skin. You can start by not focusing so much on how people upset you.. Stop and tell yourself that others don't focuse on you as much as you do.. Think of it this way. You are you and most people see you through blurred glasses. That is just sypmbolizes how little people focus on us. They don't see us like we see us.

Make it a practice when someone says something you feel is mean to you...imagine the words on your shoulders and feel them just slip down behind you and they are gone.

One of the best ways to defuse things that you find hurtful is to make it a sense of humor about it. For instance, If someone says to you that you have huge ears, instead of being hurt and crying. YOu make the choice to make is funny.
Say something like "I know, when I was born I could fly around my room, eventually I will grow in to them"
There is nothing better to get along with others is the ability to laugh at your self. Another good thing about using humor is that the people who tease you and make you miserable will no longer get the satisfaction of upsetting you and they move past you and find someone else to tease. Sometimes they quit teasing and they end up respecting you in the long run.

As you mature you will have tougher skin.

Those who are born with tough skin already, come from families who have taught them to be mean and not care about other people. Or they inherited a mean spirit. They too have the choice to rise above their negative experieces and make better choices i how they treat other people.

Please don't get depressed over other people's action. You are giving them too much power. You end up hurting yourself with their bad behavior. It isn't your job to feel other peoples issues. it will hurt you more than them. You aren'r really their object of teasing......what it is, they are misserable and they choose to take it out of someone else, They don't care who it is, So, feel sorry for them and their inability to act properly. They are the loosers not you. Put it in perspective.
They have the problem,not you. If you want you can say somethinng like "I am sorry that you are misserable, but it isn't going to help you by being mean to other people" Than walk away with your head up and be confident that you are not the person with the problem, that other guy is.

Answer 5

What are you afraid of? Take an honest look at why you were hurt an learn from it. Doing this will make it easier. Also don't assume that you know how others feel. They may be hurt more than you they just take action instead of wallowing in it.

Answer 6

Candy,

I can understand how you feel. I have been there. You deserve to feel good about you regardless of what anyone says or does!

This is certainly a time to find love and compassion for yourself. I know the pain and depression you speak of.

What I have learned about myself is that when I allow what other people say hurt me I am giving my power away to them or their words.

When I do this I am abandoning myself and agreeing with them.

I think your depression may be anger turned inward rather than be angry at the person who said or did hurtful things to you, you turn the anger on yourself. Or maybe you are angry at yourself for feeling hurt.

The way out for me has been self-love and self-support no-matter-what!

When I find myself feeling hurt by something someone said or did I remind myself that the only love and approval that REALLY matters to me is my own love and support for me.

When I do this, all the hurt feelings and depression evaporate.

Also, it is important to remember that people who say or do hurtful things are not the kind of people I want in my life.

They are treating you the exact way they treat theirselves. You bet that they say and think hurtful things about their own selves and no doubt this is the way they were treated by 'mom' and/ or 'dad.

You have no idea what these other people who don't seem to feel hurt by others really feel inside. They may surpress their hurt feelings, who knows.

Another thing I have learned is that you can't judge people's insides by their outsides.

The way out is by focusing on loving you NO MATTER-WHAT!

You give yourself messages by the way you treat yourself and by the things you say to yourself.

Treat yourself with loving kindness and compassion. You are allowed to be human and to make mistakes. Never, ever put yourself down.

You could start by developing an awarenss of the things you say to yourself and then begin to change them to postive and loving words.

You deserve your own love and compassion.

Answer 7

life is too short for drama, that is my rule, and It works pretty good. When I was younger (and more immature) I would always get hurt and depress, until I realized that I was doing it to my self, that I was actually enjoying the drama and liking the part of victim, as soon as I realized that the constant hurting and suffering stop. Is all about your attitude, things affect you because you let them. good luck.

Answer 8

People with thick skin have just been through it too many times to bother with it anymore.