what's the best mother/father-in-law joke you know? Or the best knock-knock joke, or the best ..?

Question

Irishman, Englishman etc. joke you know?

Answer 1

Here's a knock-knock joke which I love to do. These are a bunch that go together and are just fun to do.

Knock knock
who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito

Knock knock.
Whos there
Anna
Anna who
Annather mosquito

Knock knock
whos there
arthur
arthur who
arthurd mosquito

knock knock
whos there
ala
ala who
alast mosquito

knock knock
whos there
juan
juan who
juan more mosquito

Hehe. I love doing those ones.

Answer 2

Ok.

Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are in the park when they come across a bottle. Taking their chances, they rub it, and sure enough out pops the park genie.

"I will give you each one wish," says the genie. "As you go down the slide, you will land in whatever you wish for!"

So, the Englishman goes down the slide and shouts, "Gold!!" Sure enough he lands in a pile of gold.

The Scotsman goes down the slide and shouts, "Diamonds!" And sure enough, he lands in a pile of diamonds.

It's the Irish man's turn and he is so excited to go down the slide that he shouts, "Weeeee!"

Answer 3

Probably not the best I know, but the only one I can think of at this late hour before I go to sleep....

A man city fan, a liverpool fan and a man united went to stay at a remote farmhouse for the night when their car broke down. The kind farmer and his wife allowed them to have the spare bedroom but unfortunately, there were only two single beds in there and hardly any more room to move. The Liverpool fan kindly volunteered to sleep in the barn with the cows.

Half an hour later, he came back holding his nose and said 'Sorry lads, I just can't stand the smell of the cows in the barn'

The City fan graciously volunteered to go to the barn but after only 20 minutes, he, too returned holding his nose.

'Sorry guys, can't stand the smell in the barn!'

At this, the Man United fan reluctantly agreed to go and sleep in the barn. An hour passed and nothing. Two hours passed and nothing....

3 hours...there was a muffled sound at the door...the City fan and the Liverpool fan went to open it....

Outside in the hallway.....

were....

Two cows. 'Sorry boys, we can't stand the smell of that Man ure fan in the barn!'

Answer 4

here is one i like


It was a particularly horrific crime, and the judge could not refrain from saying so to the defendant.

As the defendant was brought before him for arraignment, the judge said, "You are charged with throwing your mother-in-law out of your fourth-story window."

The defendant responded, "I did it without thinking, your Honor."

The judge scolded, "That's no excuse! What if someone had been passing underneath at the time?"

Answer 5

A man was buying a house for himself and his new wife. The agent showed them a huge mansion with its own lake, golf course, heated pool, jacuzzi and gym. " This is in your price range and has an extra wing for the in-laws," the Realtor told them. The husband was adamant! "No! this will not do! Take us to see another!" The agent took them to six other properties all to no avail. Fed up, the Realtor brought them to a decrepit, run-down, 3- bedroom house with a falling-down shack about a half- mile back into the woods. "This is way less than what you are accustomed to, but the shack in the wood comes with the land. It's a REAL fixer-upper!" Thinking that they'd get mad and fire him, he nearly fainted when they said: We'll take it!! Thr realtor looked stunned. The husband sensing dismay smiled and said," It's for HER parents! Now let's go back to the first one! That ought to be far enough away from your parents!!!"

Answer 6

What does the Englishman call the 4th of July?

Thanksgiving :P

Answer 7

I bought my Mother-in-law a new chair for mothers day and the miserable old bag wouldn`t even plug it in!!

Tink x

Answer 8

I saw 6 men kicking and punchin the mother-in-law,
nieghbour says 'well are'nt you going to help' " i said no i think 6 of em should be enough.

Answer 9

I can't decide, so I'll go with one of my best hunting jokes.
so I'm going bird hunting with one of my buddies, and there are birds everywhere, I shot like 20 something birds, but my buddy didn't get any, so I ask him "dude what's wrong?" and he says "I don't know! I'm can't throw the dog up high enough!"
and that is how we got banned from that zoo. so now we'll just stick to hunting the giant mice at Disney Land.

Answer 10

I had a T-shirt that read, "Keep America Beautiful........Shoot your monther-in-law. It got lots of attention at family gatherings.