I'm the queen of the world. If I'm not amused with you, you get shot. What will you do to entertain me?
2007-03-26 12:01:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hope you enjoy these
Source(s):
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
2007-03-26 12:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jerry 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
as superman was flying by he saw wonderwoman sunbathing nude on the top of a sky scraper and he thought wow wonder woman sure looks great im faster than the speed of light could fly down and hump her lights out and she'll never know what hit her. so he flew down and banged her and flew off and wonder woman said what the hell was that and the invisible man said i dont know but my a** hole sure hurts
2007-03-26 19:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by sheerpoetry 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell you what men are like its amused every one so far. gotta love the Internet its where i found this.
Men are like a deck of cards, you need :
A Heart to love him,
A Diamond to marry him,
A club to smash his f**king head in, And
A Spade to bury the bastard! :)
2007-03-26 19:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by ~*These Blue Eyes Tell No Lies*~ 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Feed you beer then show you videos of European "it's a knockout" from the 1970s with Stuart Hall commentating. You might want a change of underwear.
2007-03-26 19:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by fieldmouse 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
sorry this is the U.S.A. we dont have queens. nice try but i dont have 2 entertain u.haha
2007-03-26 19:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
hey newciderman...your a loser....get a life ...and i wouldnt bother entertainign you..go entertain yourself
2007-03-26 19:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by yanks_win2003 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Shame this isn't a webcam site. You would've seen the other side of the moon. Its where the sun don't shine.
2007-03-26 19:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why do blonde women, have bruises, round their navel, Blonde men, are stupid too. lol
2007-03-26 19:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sing you a serenade in Sicilian, and another in Neapolitan ... you decide which you like best, and if you don't like either of them, you lop off my head!
2007-03-26 19:12:21 · answer #9 · answered by Cosimo )O( 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chouck wood how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chouck wood how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chouck wood
2007-03-26 19:16:00 · answer #10 · answered by MICHAEL P 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋