Is it wrong to hate your own race?

Question

I am not saying that I hate myself or anything (because that’s far from the truth). And I love my immediate and parts of my extended family but other than that small elite group, I find myself not being able to tolerate other black people. I find them annoying, rude, ghetto, obnoxious and simply unbearable to be around. And I know of course that not all blacks are like that, but even the educated ones I am slow to warm up to. Before I just believed that it was a feeling I would get over as the years progressed, but they have intensified. And I wonder what that says about me as a person.

I take great offense to that education comment for I am a highly educated person, who attends a great private university so therefore watch what you say. I'm sure you have never made a grammatical error right so forgive for getting hostile.

Answer 1

It's really natural to make generalizations based on your current experiences with people or even with a group of people. If all of your experiences have been negative, of course it's going to make you wary of approaching anyone in that group (whether it's based on race, gender, religion or age group or whatever) in the future.

Be aware, though, that generalizations are, by definition, general. They're a definition you're applying to an entire group of people without knowing that entire group of people - which means you could be setting yourself up to miss out on a lot of great encounters.

There are always going to be people who don't live up to your expectations of behavior or morals or even appearance. There is nothing that says that just because they are the same race as you, you have to hang out with them. However, there's also nothing that says that just because a couple of people are like that, or just because all of the people *you* *know* are like that, that everyone in that group is going to disappoint you.

As far as what this says about you as a person: nothing truly horrible. :) It says you're cautious, maybe afraid of being hurt, but it doesn't automatically peg you as racist or a bigot. Just be aware of your feelings when you're meeting new people, and try really hard to keep in mind that everyone starts out with a blank slate when you first meet them.

Answer 2

Summersong,

First, a trivial point. I'be published five books and I will guarantee that each of them had sentences beginning with "And." This is a common rhetorical tactic in English, and ultimately goes back to the KJV Bible.

Second, and a little more important. People here counseling you that you are dealing with culture not race are basically on-target. Although, since "race" scientifically doesn't exist, the distinction may be a distincation without a distinction. Still, I am very impressed with how many people here have given you smart, compassionate answers. Perhaps I am foolish to try to add to their wisdom.

Third, we cannot automatically says "she's self-hating." Many people are, sure. But it's not automatically, self-evidently true.

But....

I find something sad about your question and you sound as if you are sad to be asking it.

That you even ask the question should make you think--and you are thinking.

It doesn't have to be a question of race. Anytime we cut ourselves off from something human, we take a chance. We are cutting off parts of ourselves. That is why racism cripples the racist.

If you sense something is wrong, probably something is.

Is that vague & fuzzy enough? Oh yeah

Answer 3

You are right, your comments do suggest that you have issues with yourself. You are taking personally the actions of others. What do you HAVE TO bear of others that makes them unbearable? Perhaps you are seeing yourself in these Black people who are annoying, rude, ghetto, obnoxious and simply unbearable.

Answer 4

It's not wrong to not like anyone who is obnoxious or rude regardless of color. But if you find yourself hating black people and you are black, there is a problem. That means you hate yourself did you know that? By the way I am neither of the above that you just described most black people as acting like and I know plenty of black people that act the opposite of what you think we are all like.
Hey, if you feel so strongly about this go try to join the kkk, aryan nation,or skinheads and let me know how it works out for you!

Answer 5

it's wrong to hate any group without warrant.

If someone is has all the qualities that you dislike, then I don't think it is wrong, as long as you judge individually and not a whole people.

lastly, hate is a very strong word. I would use "dislike" instead.

Answer 6

You beat me to it, Monica.

I don't think you really hate your own race. I think you hate the culture you describe, and are cautious of people your own race because they often accept that culture. This is why most whites aren't racist per se but are cautious around blacks. They find the culture to be distasteful, ignorant and abusive of others, but still widely accepted among blacks.

Answer 7

lol, you too?! i get so sick of my people sometimes. every time i see a black person their clothes are either too big or too small. they're always speaking like they've never stepped foot inside an english class....it makes me so mad!

Answer 8

It's really sad that you feel that way. You have to learn to love and embrace your heritage.
If that can't be done; than I guess there's no hope...

Answer 9

You call it hate.....I call it preference.

I'm Scottish/Chippewa....(look white)

I prefer to be around those that are respectable of others.
Alot of whites have embarrased me with their acts....I avoid those people.
Does that mean I hate?

Answer 10

just be aware of it, learn about it. its not wrong tho, you must of had your experiences. i dont trust most people but i know i have to be careful around "caucasian" just by experience. I am mixed.