I need a serious answer to this question. If I'm going to have a baby it has to be soon and I don't know what to do. I can't count the number of times mothers have whispered to me in darkened corners 'Don't ever have children, they'll ruin your life.' But then there are other mothers who say that children were a blessing that changed their lives for the better. I don't know who to believe, I don't know what I want. But I have to decide soon, so please be honest and if you cannot be totally honest in this place then don't answer at all.
Thank you!
2007-03-09 11:21:24 · 41 answers · asked by wild 9 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Being childless for so many years and now wanting to adopt I can tell you that the loneliness for a baby has at times been unbearable.The wonderful things I can think of is having a special person you can care for and give love to. Someone you can teach and bring up with a good moral character and value system so when they're turned loose into the world they will make a contribution and make the world a better place. And it must be such a good feeling to know you've contributed to that. I think that the bad thing is something I've already experienced with a child I was going to adopt when the father changed his mind. Losing a child has got to be the hardest thing there is. I believe in the long run, it's worth the gamble.
2007-03-09 11:32:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am a single mum to a beautiful 7 year old girl and a very close auntie to a 2year old and 4 week old and i have to say the worst thing is probably the money and also the fact that everything has to be planned espically with a baby but the best thing about it is the love, the baby giggles, the first time they all u mummy, when they are hurt or sared and they run to u and the look on their faces when u do something nice.
Having children is very rewarding and i personnally feel that when someone says dont have children they will ruin your life, it means they are very selfish and do not appricate the children. They love u unconditionally and all they ask is thatthey are looked after. I am not going to lie and say that it is easy but it truly is worth it. I really hope u enjoy it like it is meant to be enjoyed and remember that children are not children for long so enjoy every second and u wont regret it.
Good luck!
2007-03-10 04:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by stacey f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing about having a child is that they do change your life. They change the way you view the world. I used to go out and drink with my friends (I'm in the military) all the time. I thought that was the life. I look at it now and realize a lot of it was pointless and that my baby is my life. Of course they cry, wine, get needy, and need a little more, and some days never want to sleep, but that's for a short time. The smiles and laughs are rewarding. Watching them grow is rewarding. The worst thing... I have already listed. The crying, etc. I'm tired all the time, but I figure the reward gets better as time goes by.
2007-03-09 14:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by qtiequawn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are a blessing definately, but it is also a hard job sometimes. If you have a good attitude and create a good bond with you children it is beautiful and can be very fun and rewarding. You have proud moments everyday, sometimes tough moments too, when they are crying it can get frustrating sometimes. I am a mother of 2 and they are a joy. My son is now 3 and it seems that it just gets better every year, it's nice to have a friend in him, I know that sounds crazy because he's a child and I'm an adult, but really you are your childrens best friend, they rely on you for everything, and it is a wonderful feeling to make them happy and enjoy them.
2007-03-09 17:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mesha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always wanted to have a 'family',you know the perfect husband, house, job and then kids, in that order. Unfortunately i got pregnant first before getting the others but i am absolutely over the moon about my daughter, she is def the cutest baby i have ever seen!! I know every mother says that!
She totally changed my life, her dad and i split up when she was 10wks old because she made me realise what was important, i would do anything to protect her and unfortunately thats what i had to do to make things better for her.
But from the day she was born ive been living with guilt: for not breastfeeding her, for not keeping to her routine, for going back to work, for her dad not living with us etc...
I didnt know i wanted kids until i had her, no..until i found out i was pregnant and then i knew that this was exactly what i wanted. My sis in law is 40 and she only starting trying for a baby last yr but then found out that they're not able to have any, which is just heartbreaking so if you do decide to do it(which will be the best decision you'll ever make!!) dont leave it too late
2007-03-10 01:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother is the most thankless job ever. Children are very selfish and self centered. To be a mother you need the Patience of a saint and a skin as hard as nails sometimes. I have 2 children. I wouldn't trade them for anything and I never regret having them. They are what keep me going some days. Until I had my kids I never realized how much you could love another person. They aren't always easy to handle. Parenting comes with no instructions, but you learn from each other over the years. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. It's so awesome to look at them and think "I created them" (obviously with some help LOL). It is so hard to really explain until you have a child, but there's nothing like it on earth.
2007-03-09 12:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well a few questions you really have to ask yourself are
Are you in a steady relationship ?
Do you feel ready to give up all your social life for a long time?
Are you prepared for months of sleepless nights ?
And really from your question you say, you want a baby and it has to be soon Why,
Children are a blessing and i don't wanna go on at you but me and my partner were together 3 years when we had our twins we thought we were ready, its been so tough and you have to prepare for that, at aged 3 our twin son was diagnosed with severe autism, and that's something you never ever think of when you want and have a baby, but it does happen you have to be emotionally and mentally ready for what ever parenthood throws at you, yes children rule your life for a fair few years but this what being a parent is, its tough and they don't stay babies forever, you also don't don't say how old you are, just think about it
2007-03-12 06:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by Autism's Beautiful Face 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I have 2 children, a girl and a boy, adults now. When i fell pregnant with my daughter it wasnt planned, but i was happy nonetheless. With my son i wasnt ready either and was unhappy throughout the pregnancy. I look at them both now and i love them more than cooked food, lol! But its like this... there is an amazing feeling when you look at your new born child for the first time and its an overwhelming love that never leaves you. This little being looks to you for everything, which can be a daunting feeling but also an amazing one. Then you realise that for the rest of your life this being is with you where ever you go, whether physically or in thought. That never leaves you. To be able to have children is a blessing a gift. To have a life without them is a life... yes... full of freedom to come and go without looking over your shoulder. To look at your friends kids and no you dont have to deal with smelly nappies and snotty noses or teenage rage even. But i always think you will always wonder ... what if?? I look at my kids and am very proud of them, but couldnt imagine my life without them and feel that i am today who i am because of them. Dont know if that helps... but thats my view. Stay blessed.
2007-03-11 14:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by chiccigyal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any mother that says having children "ruined her life" is an idiot.
Motherhood has been the greatest thing I've ever done and I would do it again and again in a heartbeat.
It is a TON of work and it is a HUGE commitment...but the rewards are so unbelievable I can't even put it into words.
I really can't believe anyone who looked into the face of their own child would ever have any regrets.
They ARE a blessing, I haven't slept in 6 months, I have a c-section scar, saggy boobs, I probably have spit up in my hair and I haven't sat down to watch my favorite TV show in 4 months...AND I LOVE IT.
One smile from that gummy grin or one giggle from that shining face...and my heart melts...best thing I ever did...hands down.
Like I said...I'd do it again in the blink of an eye...And I plan to start with #2 in the summer.
It's a big commitment and it's hard work and it costs money but nothing is more rewarding.
2007-03-09 11:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
>>just want to let you know that you are not alone!!
I am facing similar situation. I don't think that children will ruin your life for ever. But if you don't take care of your child, you you will end up in an old folks home and have no visitors. I strongly believe they are a blessing in disguise..
In my situation, I am afraid that i would not be able to take care of the baby financially. And what if I become a bad mother? I can hardly manage me and my husband now... what happens when I have a baby...
I am confused... my workmates said... if I want to have a baby.. be prepared.. coz it ill change ur life for ever... she said your routine and priorities will change. But its worth it!
I still want to have a baby.. i am just waiting for the right moment. And i think you should have a baby too!
I wish you good luck!
2007-03-09 11:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋