Marriage Jokes and One-liners
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that
perhaps they're too old to do it.
Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is
talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There's water in the
carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
2007-03-05 06:23:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The wife is like a customer. The customer is ALWAYS RIGHT!
2007-03-05 06:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by Quest 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You wanna be attentive to why divorce is so costly? this is nicely worth it. somewhat of having married, try this. detect a female who already hates you and purchase her a house. it's going to save you dissimilar time and grief. My previous female continuously we could me have the final be conscious. 2 words, actual--"confident, expensive." Chicago has an exciting handle easy regulation Marriage. If a female can deliver you out at 3 am, in a snowstorm, taking walks, for a pint of Cherry Garcia--you're married.
2016-10-17 08:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
Those a very funny!!!
My favorite two though are:
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
2007-03-05 07:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knife cuts one way but wife cuts both ways.
Wife is armed with 144 sec.but poor man with 420 (in sex)
The best way to pacify a women is to compare her with Cleopatra.
2007-03-05 13:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by padminiramesh@yahoo.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There all good but the happy for 20 years is hilarious.
2007-03-05 06:35:13 · answer #5 · answered by MISS K.I.A. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
2007-03-05 07:04:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WIFE IS
W - WORRY
I - INVITED
F - FOR
E - EVER
but husband is the one whose life is a worry.
So both r same
2007-03-06 05:37:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why men die before their wives do?
Because they want to.
Cheaters are people who can't stand the monogamy of marriage.
Alimony: the screwing you get for the screwing you got.
2007-03-05 06:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice ones......Thanks for making us laugh
2007-03-05 20:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. This post is a Beaut! LOL. LOL.
Kudos to you! 10*.
Have a great evening, and thanks for the laughs!
2007-03-05 07:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋