i am 14 years old girl i am pregnant with a grown mans child what should i do?

Question

the man im with he's 17 years old he said he gonna to take care of it with me if we can i am scared i dont know how many months i am i scared to tell my parents when i told my boyfriend he yelled at me last time he hit me im just so messed up i starting to think to kill the baby i found out i was pregnant by taking a pregnacy test i notice i havent came on my preiod ever sence we had sex i just scared its just hard for me i just lost my nephew its just hard what should i really do?

I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TOO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TRYING AND HOPING I MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE I HOPE I DO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE SO THANK YOU SO MUCH..................

Answer 1

Sounds like he's going to leave you when the baby is born sorry but he's not much older and it seems like less responsible. Unless you are planning on going to a maternity home, you are going to have to tell your family, they can react one of two ways angrily or supportive. They will most likely always be mad at first but once they have time to digest it they may come around and decide that they will help you if you help yourself, and usually when they see the baby all will be right with them . Dont feel bad it happens, there are girls younger than you, there are people in worse situations or even in the same and they make it. Look into going to a high school for teen moms, look into getting a job, get support for yourself, MAKE SURE you get prenatal care so you can at least start taking vitamins and figure out how far along you are, for your health most importantly companies like birth right are tailored to helping pregnant women in need. If you aren't ready to be a single parent then consider adoption, it sounds like abortion is against your beliefs so don't do it because you will more than likely feel bad about it. If it is something you want and not just because you are scared of everyone's reaction then do it. If you parent, Make sure this kid pays child support. and never ever ever tolerate staying with a man who hits you, even for the sake of your child, you are much better off without a man who has to resort to violence against a woman for any reason.

Answer 2

First off, a 17 year old is not a "grown man." And if he hit you, he's FAR from mature enough to raise a child

Secondly, there is no way that your letter displays the maturity required to raise a child. You are way too young to be raising a child and I hope you recognize that.

I am not qualified (nor is anyone else) to dictate morals and ethics to you. Your decision to keep or abort your baby is one only you can make as you are the one that has to live with that choice.

It will be a difficult conversation, yes, but you (and the baby's father) need to sit down with your parents and tell them that you believe you are pregnant. Your parents should take you to the doctor and confirm the pregnancy and get an estimate of how far-along the pregnancy is. You cannot make a decision regarding abortion, adoption or raising the baby without knowing about the pregnancy.

Some grandparents will raise the infant. Some grandparents will not. Personally, I think its incredibly selfish for you to ask your parents to raise a child for you since you weren't able to be 'grown up' enough to wait to have sex until you could support a child. So, my personal opinion is to not even ASK your parents to raise your child for you. Its not their responsibility- its yours.

Which leaves you with the choice of abortion or adoption.

Depending on how far along you are, abortion might not be an option. I won't even go into detail here as it is a controversial issue. If you want one, talk to your parents. They'll discuss it with you.

Adoption would be the other choice and there are MANY childless couples out there looking for an infant to raise as their own. Because of your age you could certainly ask for what's known as "open adoption" where you are able to visit the child periodically and watch it grow and develop. Some couples are open to this; some are not. Some birth-mothers want this, some do not.

You need to tell your parents.

You need to understand that this 17 year old who hits you is NOT someone you want to spend your life with OR raise a child with. If he hits you once, he'll do it again.

Answer 3

First and foremost, stay away from your boyfriend, or anyone else that hits, or threatens to hit you. If he or anybody else does either, now or in the future, dial 911, as soon as it is safe to do so, and have that person thrown in jail, where they belong!

Next if you really don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, try to find a guidance counselor, or teacher at school, that you trust, and ask for a referral to a clinic, where they help pregnant teens decide what to do in a situation like yours. There are many options, but ultimately it is your choice. And remember, you are not alone, there are many pregnant teenagers in this country, who need help just like you do. And, there are many trained and experienced professionals out there whose job it is to help you.

Also, one suggestion is to be 100% sure you are pregnant. I might be wrong, but I think even the best home pregnancy tests are only 99% accurate. A doctor will tell you for sure. There are sometimes other reasons, besides pregnancy, that a woman will miss her period. In the future, practice abstinence or use birth control.

Good Luck,
Be Well,
and,
Be Strong.

Answer 4

Well the boy is only 17 to begin with honey he is not a grown man, and if he has hit you then that makes him nothing more then a coward.. Go and talk to your parents, and look into adoption.. Dont kill the baby that is something you will more then likely regret in the long run.. My sister had a baby when she was 14 and she is now 18 the baby and her are doing great together she really stepped up and became a mother with no help from anyone.. Talk to your parents and tell them what you are feeling dont be araid to mention it if you by chance want to keep the baby.. It is after all part of you.. I will pray for you and I wish you the best of luck..

Answer 5

Girl, I learned the hard way that you don't need the father. Especially an abuser. He will end up doing it to the baby too. I ended up having three children with my ex-husband. You will be a stronger person by doing this alone and believe it or not you will be able to provide a more stable life for your child without a parent in the picture that is abusive. You can do it!!! I did. I almost got killed and it started with a slap. Once they hit you, it's all over. They don't stop - they just do it more often and harder. Most women who stay in that situation end up killed by the "man" who "loved" her. After a while, I finally found a man who wanted me and my children. It makes him appreciate me more because he knows that I have been taking care of them by myself and he treats us like royalty because they were without a Dad all that time. Things will work out for you in the end. They always do. IF YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE AN ABORTION IT IS YOUR CHOICE, BUT I KNOW PERSONALLY THAT IT A HARD DECISION TO LIVE WITH. DON'T DO IT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED OF YOUR PARENTS OR YOUR BOYFRIEND - YOU ARE A PARENT IN THIS SITUATION. YOU HAVE A CHILD TO TAKE CARE OF.

Answer 6

Honey,

No matter what you might think of the following answer IT is the Right One.

Tell your parents immediately .
I know your scared and I know it's going to be one of the hardest things to do but you need their support right now and in the future.

At 17 years old this boyfriend is to young to be there for you and frankly you don't need that relationship, you have many wonderful years a head of you.

The next hardest thing to do is to decide how you are going to handle the situation of pregnancy.

Please DO NOT keep this baby. Sweetie you have a lot to experience in life and having a baby in your life at the age of 14 is not one of them!.

Please consider adoption . There are many childless couple out there that will provide a loving home for your baby. No one will think badly of you if you give up the baby . I have a friend who did just that and I have the utmost respect for her.

Next have your mom make an appointment to see her OB-GYN you should start what is called prenatal care . Stay healthy , eat right , don't drink alcohol, smoke or do any drugs.

Good luck sweetie. God bless

Answer 7

First of all if that boy hit you you should report it. No one has the right to hit you...ever.
Second, he's 17 he is not a grown man, he is still a child, real men do not EVER hit women.
You need to go to your parents, they can help you. You will not be able to hide this from them for very long. Adoption is a wonderful choice for someone in your situation.
Please tell your parents, this is one of the most important things for you to do right now. They will help you make the decisions that you need to make. The longer you wait the harder it will be to tell them.
Make sure you tell them that your boyfriend hit you, this is something they need to know.
Best of luck.

Answer 8

Girl dont stay with him if he hits you! I got pregnant when I was 13 K? God gave u this baby for a reason Hun DO NOT KILL THIS CHILD! There is help out there u just have to find it. Now is the time to grow up and be a woman! And yeah it's gonna be hard but like i said you got pregnant for a reason...Tell your parents and tell them he hit you..Let them know your mature enough to own up to your responsibilities (if you are). And if in the end you cant take care of the baby give him/her up for adoption to a home that will love and take care of this blessing! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

Try to relax, Its not easy having a baby, especially at 14, but it is something that has happened and you will have to accept that. It will be hard telling your parents, I'm sure they will be upset but they are your parents and they will be there for you and help you through this. Whatever you decide to do, make it your choice no one else. and no matter what your bf should not hit you, i would send him out the door and tell him he will be helping you because you will see him in child support court! Good luck, and keep your head up

Answer 10

Number one: If he's only 17 he's a boy not a man.
Number two: Would you really want to raise a child with a guy that hit you?

You need to tell your parents, get into see a doctor, and get as far away from that guy as you can.