Why are some brothas self-hating?

Question

He had said that he is never going to date dark-skinned black women againg because they are too dark and they always have bad attitudes. And he said that he wants lighter kids. I really hate him for this because I'm darkskinned and he cheated on my mom with this white woman. I don't get it. He is Wesley Snipes complexion and he is always bad mouthing Black women. I know alot of Black men who said that they won't date bLakc women because of this.

Answer 1

This guy sound like a loser. I don't understand why some black men are like this. I think this is a major problem in the black community. I call it having the slave mentality or Willie Lynch Syndrome. Some of our brothers and sisters have a major problem with light vs dark skinned. It also called colorism or color consciousness. With colorism, usually lighter skin tones are preferred, and darker skin is considered less desirable. This also occur in other cultures too among Chicanos and other Latinos and Indian immigrants. We need to end this but we are passing it down to the next generation. Your mom boyfriend has a problem self-hate (hating his dark skinned and maybe hating other dark skinned people). Dark skinned sister have it hard in our society. Dark skinned women are often view as ugly. It sad because we don't like it when white people discriminate against us but we do it to each other all the time. I think it also has something to with the images with see on TV too. We see a light skinned or biracial women with a dark skinned man. We see these images on TV, movies, magazines and music videos. Spike Lee's film School Daze is an excellent example of colorism. It is getting to be far and few but there are some good black men out there who still love black women. Tell your mom to keep her head up. God will bless her with a good black man.

Answer 2

unfortunately racism is much more widespread and subtle today than most people realize. In most of the world, the really obvious and overt forms of racism have been outlawed and are becoming unacceptable socially. the big exceptions now are the reactionary ones, like the the black-on-top apartheid thats being created in Zimbabwe, and ethnic cleansing between different African ethnicities as in Rwanda a few years ago and Sudan now.

Racism on a personal level can't be regulated. Its an internal healing process, may be generational. you can only try to talk about it when possible, distance yourself when necessary.

In America, there are also a lot of economic and cultural issues mixed in. The patriarchy vs matriarchy question may be part of it (ie belief that white women generally more submissive than black women). The self-respect factor (trying to "make up" for the historical humiliation of slavery by taking the white man's woman) may also be a part.
Theres still a (justified?) belief that the closer you are to white in America is the happier you'll be and the more respect you'll get. So a person who buys into that (instead fo trying to change it) will want that 'happier' life for his kids. a tragic, twisted form of logic.

whats the answer? how will it end? I do not know.
Somehow -in a hostile economy- the black man in America must find a path to success and self respect without hurting his brothers and sisters.

Answer 3

Sad to say that society is very superficial . For years the ideal woman has been the White blond hair blue eyed woman. Part of this was because their fathers were slaveowners and became extremely rich while taking advantage of everyone else. So the influence of the white man is the most important and it is very obvious that he loves his white woman. Just look at the modeling industry and Ms America pageant created just for them. This is why the world loves the white women and doesn`t appreciate the black unless she is singing or cooking. On tv the white woman is famous , rich, smart and beautiful. On tv the black woman is Ghetto and chunky(Nikki Parker) and speaks ebonics, and finds her roots in africa( a poor continent). Of course this is the extreme but generally this is the idea that the media portrays. And who owns the media? White people? So naturally a black/latin/asian/arab man is going to desire, want and lust after the white woman because EVERYBODY wants her. She is the ultimate achievement, the trophy wife . How many exotic dark skin black woman are on Tv? and how many times are they they most beautiful or the most educated on the show? The white woman has also had many many years to elevate herself with the support of her white man. Thats why they are usually in better health , dress better and speak and articulate eloquently unlike the dark skin women who we rarely see unless she is with her 4 or 5 kids by different men on welfare.This is just an observation. Its all about advertising It must be hard being at the very bottom of the food chain. In Brazil its different though dark skin woman are very popular but they are usually prostitutes in Copacabana. All the europeans fly down there every year.I hope this helps.

Answer 4

Your question doesnt make experience, yet in words he became on your assets you have the main appropriate to guard. i couldnt provide a f if kenny g, jesus himself broke in my abode, if im no longer interior the temper blat blat! its no longer a race thimg yet a protection concern.

Answer 5

It's not exactly ALL his fault...it goes back to the days when Europeans first began colonizing the world...the Europeans thought they were better and more civilized...therefore, white skin began to be equated with civility and goodness.....and today, it still is....this guy you're speaking of is loyal to the Eurocentric criteria of what is good and civil.

Answer 6

oh boohoo!

Now get over yourself. Maybe your mother cannot keep even a Wesley Snipes look alike (how sad)

Your little "boy obsessed" and "races obsesses" stories are getting a little tideous.

None of the so call "brothers" I know are self hating :)