Is spanking your child immoral?

Question

I ask because my buddy recently came to me with this question. I'm really not sure myself. It seems like it isn't - but society seems to deem it as being so. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think its very immoral. Basically people who spank just do it because they don't know how to control their child and themselves without hitting. Like the bully in class who doesn't know how to get along so he picks on the other kids. They don't know how to do a good job without it because they never learned any other way.

Webster defines violence as "physical force used so as to injure." Having scientifically established that spanking does cause injury it follows that spanking is a form of violence.

The problem with spanking is that while it seems to work at first (though it shows your child hitting is ok and makes them scared of you) is that it doesn't solve the actual problem. You hit your kid cause shes yelling, but why is she yelling? You hit your kid because he didn't do his homework?? but maybe he's having trouble.

My mom had 7 kids and spanked them all. All of us grew up to be "ok" in societies standards and she would be one of those moms on here saying "oh I spanked my kids and they are all ok" but we are much closer to each other then our mom. We know our mom was wrong. We also all have problems such as short tempers, got in fights a lot in school when we were younger. One even ran away from home..he lives a good life now but lots of people live through bad experiences and turn out pretty normal in the end. Does that mean the bad experience was GOOD for them though??

Now I, personally, think it's obvious that the Bible does not advocate spanking which is another excuse people use. Spanking is VERY unchristian!! There are many scriptures that have long been misused to excuse and encourage spanking, but as I have examined them personally with the Holy Spirit's guidance, I have found that they are all only tenuously interpreted that way.
What God speaks directly to the individual believer is different from what we have a right to do to one another. God may instruct us as individuals to fast for a time, for instance, but by no means does that give us the right to take away our brother’s food.

1. Jesus' Own Example was Discipline, NOT Punishment.
There is an important distinction to be made between discipline and punishment. Jesus' own ministry favored discipline over punishment.

Punishment's main goal is to stop the present occurrence of inappropriate behavior. Anything else is gravy. It is less concerned with the future, only with, "Stop that right now!"

Literally, punishment means, "to cause to undergo pain." At its very roots, it has nothing to do with teaching. Punishment establishes a police/suspect relationship between punisher and the punished. Punishment relies heavily upon the notion of external control.

On the other hand Discipline's main objective is to teach the offender what to do instead of the offense, rather than merely stopping the offense.
Discipline recognizes that" Love does no wrong to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Rom. 13:10)."

2. Jesus himself never used violence on people. When he became angry at the money changers in the temple, he turned over their tables, and he cracked a whip at the "sheep and oxen alike." (John 2:15) NOT THE PEOPLE. Even in this most dramatic account of Jesus' anger, he does not turn the whip on the offenders, who are fully accountable and culpable adults, not young children who are still growing and devloping.

There are those parents who say, "If I don't spank, my children's salvation may be at stake. Spanking is an act of love that will bring them closer to God." Yet, on the one occasion when Peter attempted to use violence as an act of love on God's behalf (in the garden of Gethsemane) - to "save" Him - Jesus called Peter "Satan." Christ could not have given a more definitive response to violence - even when dressed up in the language of "Love." There is no occasion or excuse for Christians using violence on His behalf.

3. Scriptures Do Not Support Spanking .
The Old Testament does have two references to corporal punishment, which are the mainstay of its proponents' biblical defense. These are Proverbs 23:13 and Sirach 30:1-3. However most believe "Rod" is used metaphorically, as in a shepherd's rod. As in "Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me." God's truths do not contradict each other. A shepherd uses his rod to gently guide his flock - not to strike them.

4. Even if The Old Testament was refering directly to beating a child, it also states that its ok for men to sleep with their brother wife, which is simply not acceptable anymore.

5. Ultimately, the Old Testament must be understood through the prism of the New Testament - the fulfillment of the law.
The New Testament has a very different way of dealing with sinners than did the Old Testament.

As an example, let us examine the parable of the Prodigal Son.

A son hurts his father deeply by abandoning righteous ways and pursuing a life of sin and folly. This the father knows. In response, does the father hunt down the child to give him a beating for the "open act of willful disobedience?" No. The father, being a wise man, allows his son to experience the logical consequences of his actions until he is so racked with sadness, estrangement and guilt that he comes running back to his father. The father then throws a party for the prodigal son. To celebrate the son's immoral behavior? No, to celebrate the victory of Love over sin.

Some punishment. Is God a pushover? No. He simply does not add any harm he could do to us to the harm we have already chosen for ourselves. The father of the prodigal concentrates on a more important motivator: building a relationship that is so strong, so undeniably loving, that the son will never want to "leave His house" again.

Through the wisdom of Christ's new mandate (John 13:34), we must learn the methods that will allow us to deal with our children's transgressions the way God deals with ours. To do less is to diminish in our children's eyes the very love of God.

6. Christ preached gentleness, love, and understanding, and seemed against any harsh use of the rod.
As stated by Paul in 1 Cor. 4:21: "Shall I come to you with the whip (rod), or in love and with a gentle spirit?" Paul went on to teach fathers about the importance of not provoking anger in their children (which is what spanking usually does): "Fathers, do not exasperate your children" (Eph. 6:4), and "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will be discouraged" (Col. 3:21).

We are servents of God and the best way to teach our children to be humble servents of God as well is to modle the behavior by serving them.

Someone who actually loves their child would never spank them!
Scripture tells us that the greatest of the spiritual gifts - of which Justice is one - is Love. Love is defined for us:

"Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to Love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure." (1 Cor. 13: 4-7)

Answer 2

I think immoral is the wrong word here. Moral is what society deems acceptable, and the majority rules. Not long ago corporal punishment was the norm, now, "the pendulum swings" (so to speak) in the complete opposite direction. (don't lay a finger on your child) We as a society will figure out the real answer when we have tried both extremes and everything in between. I think your buddy wants to know if spanking a child makes one a bad parent. I'll give you an example,,,my daughter was never going to spank her son...until the day he ran into the street. He never forgot the spanking, and has never run into the street again. That spanking hurt much less than being hit by a car. It's a judgment call. Do you spank a child for spilling a drink...no, that's an accident, and we all make them. When it's life or death, it seems obvious. When it's less critical is when the answer becomes cloudy. When we discipline out of love and not anger we as parents choose properly.

Answer 3

Hi,

No it is not immoral. In fact it is very immoral and unethical not to do it if the child needs a good smack on their butt. Beating a child is a whole other matter and is not scriptural at all. In fact the Bible warns against that sort of thing. I was raised by great parents, and my Father had no problem spanking if it was called for. Now that I look back at those times I feel it was justified and stopped me from repeating what I got spanked for.. It works, and is a very good way to train up a child. Too bad people have been douped into thinking it wrong. now you know why the world is getting so bad. The Bible says spare the rod spoil the child. This statement is very true.

Answer 4

Spanking your children is by no means "immoral". Beating your kids, on the other hand, is. They are two totally different things. I have three kids of my on 3,5 and 7 and I have always spanked my kids. My mother and father never spanked me when I was growing up and let me tell you I was hell on hands. I decided a long time ago that I would never in a million years allow my children to behave the way that I did. All these phscyiatrists, counslers and doctors that say its wrong and say that you are just teaching your children that it is okay to hit is a bunch of you-know-what! You have to let your children know that when you say no it means no and that you are the boss, not them. If you can find a way to discipline them in a different way and they actually obey then great, but kids arent affected by the corner, the bad chair, taking away tv, games, music, cell phones and etc. How many of our parents do you think grew up w/o spankings? A very small percentage I'm sure and they are not all screwed up, right. Just make sure you let your children know everyday how much you love them and how much they mean to you and they will respect you and love you just the same, but let them run ammuck and do what they please w/o consequences then you are going to have problems. If and when it comes down to spankings or any disciplining that you have to do, afterwards let your kids know that you still love them know matter what they do and just because you had to get on to them they are still the light of your life. Talk to your kids all the time, because as I said they catch on and understand more than you'll ever know. JUST LOVE THEM!

Answer 5

It s not immoral. Violence from parents is and they are not the same thing. When will opponents of spanking learn that?

Answer 6

I used to spank my kids with an open hand on the bottom. They never suffered because of it and they only got a smack if they were very naughty. I think these goodie two shoes who have no children who like to throw away parents rights and make laws are so removed from the real world it's unbeilievable. Don't get me wrong though I don't believe in child abuse either and there are abuser out there. I always told my kids that I love them and when I spank them it's because I want them to grow into decent human beings and do the right thing.

Answer 7

Society is always going to say things are wrong. Doesn't mean society is right.

All that matters is what your opinion is.
I don't see spanking immoral at all. I was spanked, and I turned out okay. so I live by that. I really don't care who else thinks a spanking is "oh so much child abuse!"

The way I see it, if my child puts themself in danger (run out infront of car), I'd rather spank them and have them in pain for like a couple seconds, than to have them either killed or in pain for a longer time.

Answer 8

No, sometimes it's necessary for a defiant, out-of-control child. Some kids will never need to be spanked...and some will.

But please note there is a major difference between a spank and a beating. The parent must use spanking very sparingly and judiciously, and never out of anger.

Answer 9

is it moral to cut the hand off a thief, or hang a person for committing a crime, hmmmm, we still execute criminals but we do not beat them, and the debate for executing is never ending, same with spanking, everyone has a different definition to spanking going from a tap to beating, and when has a child done something that deserves it , everyone differs in there opinion on that too, my opinion is never, it's a sign of lazy ignorant parenting, you must find alternatives to using physical abuse, there are a million alternatives, if parents take the time to learn them

Answer 10

As a parent, you need to make an informed decision on how you discipline your child. Probably about 95% of people on this site will tell you all the great things about spanking. They say "I got spanked and I turned out fine, spare the rod etc." Most will justify it by saying "Spank out of love, not anger or there is a difference between spanking and abuse or only spank them if they are about to touch a hot stove or run into the street." These comments are the most popular ones of pro-spankers. These people seem to think that spanking has to be the only alternative to good behavior.

I am in favor of discipline and believe that you can raise a spoiled, unruly, aggressive, uncontrollable child if you are a permissive parent. These types of parents provide no discipline at all and let their children run the show, give in to them or just have no structure, rules, consequences or consistency. I believe that you can raise children with no spanking. I am against it and we use time-out, removing priviledges or redirection (distracting) for toddlers under 2 years old. It really works for us and we get alot of compliments on how well behaved our children are. They respect us and do not fear us. Spanking is one of the easiest ways for parents because it lets you rule your children through fear.
Pro-spankers raise their children relying on old habits and impulses because that is how they were raised. Their tendency is to have no motivation to learn and improve. They lack child development education, have had no parenting classes and most likely do not work with children professionally. They blame (not spanking) for the state of people today. You can raise a self confident, happy, well behaved child without spanking. Check out the supernanny website or the dr Sears website. They have such great, effective ways of discipline that really work. Hitting just teaches that it is okay to hit and you sure don't want your little child one day as an adult being so angry at you for spanking them. The more educated people are on this topic, the best they will be at parenting. Parents who spank seem to lack a bit of intelligence.


Early childcare professional 17 years and a mom of 3.

Answer 11

it is not immoral. it is just that some people do not know when to stop...but kids need a little punishment every now and then so they wont walk all over you...but before you spank them try to do something else use spanking as a last resort