Im 17 and pregnant! How do I tell my boyfriend?

Question

Hey well this kinda came outa nowhere im 4 weeks pregnant just found out so kinda shocked...i will be 18 in july..... i really never pictured my self pregnant at 17! Has anyone ever been there and done that? See im done with school and he is still finishing up his last year.....We have been together a little while now and have actually talked about if something like that were to happen! he explained it to me he would still love me and as he put it "our baby" and that not to worry that he would not leave me and he has a full time job and with my full time job and his we have enough money to support all three of us...yes i know this is gonna be hard and i know some people will critze me for it but i dont care im gonna be a mama and im actually very excited and im pretty sure he will be too just a little shocked at first but we really love each other alot and before you say anything i was on birth control...The doctor took me off one and told me to wait a week to start the others...

he also told me that that if i had intercoarse that week i was not on birthcontral i could not get pregnant well lets just say sometimes people make mistakes...

Answer 1

Shot in the dark here, I'll assume you guys knew exactly what you were doing. :)

It's better to tell him now, before your tummy starts noticeably extending and he asks you how you got that way.

Also, tell your parents, they can help you more than your boyfriend can.

Answer 2

You need to tell him ASAP. Only you really know your boyfriend and can say how he will react, but he actually sounds more mature than most boys in high school, since he was willing to discuss the possibility of a baby before it happened...most younger guys would avoid it at all costs. This maturity could be a wonderful thing for supporting you, caring for the kid, and making this relationship last. Just wait till you two are alone, and give him the pregnancy test. Say it all without saying a word. That's what I did (I'm 18 and my boyfriend's 20). Before you believe anyone who says your guy will leave you just because you're pregnant, I want to say that my boyfriend is even more excited than I am, and I know he is going to be a wonderful daddy. It won't be easy, but I don't think parenthood is easy for ANYONE, regardless of age...when it happens, it happens, and sometimes we can't control it, no matter how hard we try. I think you're being very mature for not just wanting to "escape" the situation but actually see it through. That's wonderful! I hope your boyfriend will be there for you and that you can stay together for a long time and provide this baby with a loving home. It can be done. My friend had her first baby at 17, and she's still with the daddy and they love each other and their child very much, and they are goingto be just fine. Best of luck to you, and don't get down. That's the last thing you need right now.

Answer 3

Wow, sorry let me apologize first of all in behalf of all this stupid comments that you have been receiving, the ignorace of some people is devastating...

Well anyway, a child is always a beautiful and joyous event in any females life. Regardless of the circumstances or issues around it. Congratulations, Well lets see when I was pregnant with my son I was 16 years old, still attending high school. I had my son when I was 17. Now I'm 23 and I think back and honestly I probably wouldn't of changed anything. Even though I was pregnant I graduated high school just like everybody else. Being pregnant didn't make me weird or any different, it just made me work harder. How I see it its just sets you back in time a little, you tend to put yourself last and your child first, but that doesn't mean that you wont be able to accomplish what you want it just will take a little longer than expected...:)
Well, my suggestion to you, is just sit him down, let him know how you feel about him, and let him know that you are pregnant and that if both of you work together everything will turn out just fine. Be strong and understanding if his reaction is not what you expected. With time and a little thinking on his end everything will be ok. And if things don't turn out how you expected you are not and wont be the last girl to be a single mother. Its actually pretty great! Well some advise from me to you from personal experience, don't rely on him to much, it always feels great to have somebody that loves you and tells you that he will never leave you, but sometimes it doesn't turn out that way. You have to be strong for yourself and your child now, of course love him and believe him but in a future event if he fails to do this things you will be ok on your own, and wont suffer so much. Take Care and God Bless!! :)

Answer 4

BEEN THERE DONE THAT... Congratulations! I was 17 and in my last year of school when I got pregnant with my first born. Yeah it was scary at first and we were young, but my boyfriend (now my husband) is a good man who worked(s) hard to be able to provide for us and supported me whole hearted emotionally. It is a tough place to be and this my sound cliche but if you love each other and love your little one then there is no reason why it wont work. And yeah he is going to be freaked out and yeah he should be this is a big responsibility for both of you. It is natural, most men freak out even when it is a planned pregnancy, as it is their job to take care of and provide for Mommy and baby and that is a huge responsibility. But yeah no matter what people say or do if you know its going to work out it will, it is going to be hard work but NOTHING IN LIFE IS WORTH HAVING IF IT DOESN'T TAKE WORK TO GET IT. It will all work out, my husband and I have been happily married for 7 years now, we have 5 beautiful children, and we are still madly in love... oh and yes I do have a post secondary education and yes we own our rather large home and yes we also own our Suburban..... so no being a "statistic" doesn't doom you to a life of poverty or prevent you from higher education... it just takes a little more effort!

Good luck!!

Answer 5

I can't believe your doctor told you that you wouldn't get pregnant! What an idiot. Anyway, congrats. You should just show him the pregnancy test; that's what I would do. I'm glad you two are close and it's much better for a 17 year old to get pregnant than a 14 year old!! You will be 18 when the baby is born and that makes you an adult. Be prepared for a tough road ahead anyways. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, your life is not "ruined" or whatever those mean people said. Make sure you tell your boyfriend what the doctor told you about that week and that you want to keep the baby and hopefully he'll be as good as his word. You seem financially stable which is great and seem to have a level head so I'm sure you'll be fine! Tell him right away so that you can get the ball rolling with whatever you two decide to do. There are all kinds of people that you can talk to if you get too stressed out, they'll be able to inform you of all of your options and the best way to go about things. Best of Luck!

Answer 7

Wow, I was EXACTLY in your shoes. That was 10 years ago.

Even though my boyfriend and I loved each other and had talked about what we would do "if" I got pregnant, when I first told him, he freaked out and asked me to have an abortion. I said no way. He never brought it up again.

We started talking about how we were going to make everything work, and I was so freaking stressed out. Four days after I found out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage. He and I broke up 2 weeks later and didn't talk for almost 6 months after that.

Looking back, I know there's no way we would have stayed together. I would have ended up a single mother for sure. People change so much as they grow older. Who I was at 17 is nowhere near who I am now.

I know you're excited and think he will be too, but please put this into perspective and try to be realistic about how things may end up. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

wow...everyone wants to give you advise on this one...but you know what? you sound like a smart girl so I'm not going to give advise. i want to commend you for not being irresponsible and having an abortion. so many people want to have fun (sex) and as soon as they are faced with the responsibilities of their actoins (a baby) they go and have it aborted, like taking out the trash. you seem really strong and determined so i am sure you already know what to do. tell him, then find a doctor to take care of you for the next nine months. i REALLY hope that he sees how smart you are and i hope you all stay together. as far as being a mother so young: a trillion women has done it before you. you can do it. i am a member of verybestbaby.com and they send me two to four coupons for 1-12 dollars off baby formula every month and that really comes in handy. you can sign up now and stock up for when baby is born. also, there's pampers.com and they send me really good coupons on diapers. tell your parents first and your friends and family after you tell 'daddy'. have a baby shower so that friends have the opportunity to give and help you as they see fit. all of this will take some of the fear and anxiety out of the next nine months. hope everything goes as planned. (smile)

Answer 9

I hope things go well. I must warn you though, things could go the other way. He may think it's not his because you were on birth control. I know that sounds odd, but he could think it's impossible because you were on bc. However, you will need let him know that even though you were on it you missed those days. Unfortunately, bc if missed can cause you to be more fertile. I just want you to understand it may not be easy. I hope however, things go well for you and it goes without a dent. I hope he does not question it and trust you. Congratulations. Also know that there are some older people who weren't ready. It's good you both have jobs. Also, you may need help from Medicaid to help provide the medical for your child if you cannot afford health insurance. I am glad you are both working. It will be hard, but what new mom has been perfect in raising their little ones.

14 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

Answer 10

Yes I have been therre acutually I turned 18 on october 2nd and had my first daughter on November 26th. She is now 7yrs. old and doing great. Me and her father was young also and desided we would make it work for us and we did for awhile. The best way to tell him is just be staight there is really no help I can give you with the shock b-c it is going to happen that is everyones first reaction. You can't help it. Then you need to sit down and plan ahead b-c for the next 18 yrs. your life is going to belong to that baby and you need to be prepared for that. Good luck with everything sweetie. You will be fine I promise. Your life will only be fulfilled and happy now.

Answer 11

This is definitely a situation in which you want to set a date to discuss it, and make sure you're alone and have enough time together to talk about your options and what both of you plan to do. I won't tell you it will be easy and everything will be okay, but it sounds as though you are in a healthy enough relationship to handle this together.

Also, I suggest telling him before you tell anyone else. That way, you can break the news your parents together, and he won't feel left out of any decision making or planning. The two of you have a a new and foreign road ahead of you, and, even though you're the one pregnant, he'll undoubtedly have a lot of emotions and anxieties about it as well.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck!