A woman I know and have been friends with since childhood is dying. She's in her 30's, has never had sex, and is still quite attractive despite her terminal condition ( nothing contagious ). Anyway, her dying wish is to have sex just once before the end comes, and she has asked if I'd "do the honors". I've tried to talk her into asking someone else, but she refuses saying I'm the only one she'd be comfortable with. I am caught between a rock and a hard place here. I don't wanna cheat on my wife and I don't wanna disappoint my lifelong friend. How do I handle this? I am desperate for answers. Help! Thanks in advance for your time and your advice.
2007-02-01 15:26:19 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The night before my mastectomy, I went to my gentleman friend's house and asked him to make love to me. I explained to him I wanted to feel a man to touch my breasts one last time before they were surgically removed. He was seeing someone else, but he agreed to "take care of my needs". This is the first time I've told anyone about that night. I am eternally grateful to my friend for helping me walk into that surgery with a memory I still cherish to this day!
I wasn't dying but I understand you're friend's request!
Talk to your wife! Tell her first and foremost, how upset you are over the thought of cheating on her. Ask your wife what she wants you to do and stand by her decision.
2007-02-09 02:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by maj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is not your problem. You took vows to your WIFE. I can't believe someone that has been your friend for so long would even ask such a thing of you. That doesn't sound like a friend at all. She'd be death (excuse me for being so blunt), and if your wife found out, you'd be divorced. So why make a bad situation worse? Explain to your friend that you are flattered, but as a married man, you took vows with your wife, and you are entitled to stick to those vows. Put yourself in your wife's shoes. If it were her that had a dying friend, would you condone her having sex with him to satisfy his dying wish? I would hope not, because her body is YOUR temple as is yours is to her. Make the right decision.
2007-02-09 10:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... first of all, I can't believe you've been considering doing it, assuming you haven't done it already.
Second of all, I can't believe a dying woman would have the gall to even ask a married person to do that, friend or not!!
If she hasn't had sex before, that is HER problem, not yours, and she shouldn't ever have put you in this predicament! She would be committing adultery~~ and so would you. How will she explain that to her Maker when she leaves this world??
I say you should DEFINITELY tell your wife what she is asking of you. Subjects like this should NEVER be kept from your spouse. By all means, DON'T... DON'T... DON'T cheat on your wife. It is something you can never take back.
So what would happen if you had sex with this woman and she doesn't die any time soon (sorry for sounding cruel) and she wants you to have sex again and again??
I say tell her NO, under no circumstances. Period. You took vows. You need to honor those vows... Remember: Forsaking ALL others...
Best of luck to you. Be strong. Tell her NO.
2007-02-01 15:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes it is wrong still .You are married and she is wrong for asking you .
Being a dying woman she should realize that her life is almost over but your's is not and you have to deal with the chance of losing your wife.
There are others she can turn to .
If you feel its that important tell your wife about it maybe she would be interested in having the other woman join in?
2007-02-07 02:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by nhmomma2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you want to help your friend but stop thinking about your friend and think about your wife because ultimately she is the only one that should matter here.... Not what your friend wants or what you want to do for your friend. You made the commitment to your wife and that must take presidence over all other emotions. If you think of her first you will ultimately make the right decision. I feel sorry for your friend but keep in mind that if this is something that is really important to her then she should be willing to compromise since ultimately she is the one that decided to wait so long without having sex.
2007-02-01 15:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sati 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So your stuck between a rock and a hard place? I don't think you are!!! Your married and your friend is dying. Who's feelings do you want to hurt here - your wife or your friend? If you have sex with your friend you will risk your marriage. This must be a difficult decision for you but I suggest that you get her a pimp or something and stay well clear of this one.
2007-02-01 15:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by jtgot1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your little soldier in your pants---I know he wants to come out to play war but since you're married you must honor those vows.
You tell your dying friend that your honored that she would choose you but you can't be put into a position of infedelity. Tell her you honor and cherish what you and your wife have and do not want to put it in jeopardy by granting her dying wish!
If you don't want to loose your wife, security, home, children and whatever you have ; I would suggest you put yourself in check and remember the consequences if you follow thru with this!
Dying wish could be a fleating moment of pleasure but in the end your wife will also grant you a wish of DIVORCE for adultery!
2007-02-08 22:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dyeing or not cheating is cheating! If you did that you would regret it for the rest of your life.The truth will come out sooner or later.You need to tell your wife what her wish is.Who knows your wife might consent I doubt it but at least your not keeping secrets from her. In all honesty you have already cheated on her in your heart.For you to be even considering this.If you truly love your wife then you would not do this.Put yourself in your wife's shoes.If there was a man that was a friend of your wife and he was dyeing and he asked her for the same thing and she did not tell you how would that make you fell.This is the way every married couple should look at things.Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't do or say if they where standing right next to you.Otherwise your just keeping secrets.Also everything you do comes back on you.I'm speaking from experience!
Good Luck!
2007-02-01 18:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell your friend that while you are honored that she would think that you were the only one deserving of her virginity, that you cannot in good conscience fufill her last wish. Tell her that although it may make her feel better, that her wish would drive a wedge through your marriage. Don't do this....dying woman's last wish or not, cheating is never reasonable. Besides, how will you feel carrying that guilt around the rest of your life?
2007-02-01 15:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that your flattered but the answer is no. If she considers you a friend she would respect your decision and seek someone else.
If you truly love your wife this request should have never been considered or pondered over. Your just asking for trouble and if divorce and chaos is for you then so be it, it's your life. It all depends on how much your willing to lose for friendship.
2007-02-01 15:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by trojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋