I lost all my friends because I'm gay!?

Question

I've told one of my friends that I'm gay, and the person I told doesn't really want to be my friends any more but they never told anyone else, until today. On IM everyone was online, so she invited us all to a chat room and said "hey every1, i want to tell you guys something" and immediately everyone said "what!?" and she told them right there. Then they all started making fun of me and yelling at me, and I denied it, but they still think it's true, and they all hate me. I see them everyday, and I'm scared that when I walk in I'll get all these weird looks and mean insults and stuff, and then it will spread more, and even people that I don't completely know will find out! What should I do?

Also one of them said they were making a web page saying that I'm gay, and that they would give it out to everyone so everyone could see whenever they wanted. What do I do???

Answer 1

well, hon, if they're making fun of you then they're not true friends. forget about them and find other people.

when my girlfriend and i first started going out, the entire school knew fast and at first it seemed like everyone hated us, even the teachers. but no matter how much crap we got for it, we still went out. Soon people started to realize that we were people too, with feelings, and they stopped making fun of us. My tormentors from junior year come up to me now and tell me they're sorry, and they have respect for what we go through. I get random people who come up to me and tell me they look up to us. we've been an open-couple for two years now.

it's going to be really hard at first, but just dont let them get to you. if they say something, just keep walking, dont say anything, dont look at them. we cant fight homophobia by fighting other people. we have to show everyone around us that we're better than that.

it doesn't matter how many people are against us, because even if one person tells you how much they look up to you.....it makes u feel so proud to be who u r.

good luck...and be safe.

Answer 2

Well, I am sorry to heat the sweety.
The friend you had was obviously not a real friend.
You must stand your ground now.
Confront your friend in front of other people.
Tell her that as a person and as a friend she's a piece of shi*.
Tell her that you are glad that she has exposed herself to be the real bitc* she is and that you are better off knowing that she is the kind of person that fuc*s over people that she calims to be a friend to and that everyone else should consider her behavior fare warning as she is bound to do it again to someone else.
Then ask her, "Or is it because you turned her down when she hit on you and now she is the shabby little shadow of a woman scorned", and how sad and pathetic you think that is. Oh, and by the way has that infection cleared up yet cause she is starting to stink again. Tell her to wash that puss box out every now and again or stay way from the docks or some other place where bumbs or shabby lowlifes hangout.
Trust me she will be floored if you not only confront on her shi* but also go on the attack.
If and when someone says why did you deny it say, you only make yourself look stupid with that question and so what if I did? I'm not now so fuc* off.
Tell the rest of them they can fuc* off.
At the end of all this you will be needing new friends, obviously.
Just bide your time. Some people may surprise you and say, wow you really wrecked her face, and be impressed by the way you stood up for yourself.
Others may not like you but they will respect you for standing your ground.
And still others will just not like you because they will be threatened by your fearlessness as deep down inside they are cowards. If anyone, these are the people who will give you shi*. Watch out for them.
Don't be afraid to eat your lunch alone for a little while.
This will blow over sooner than you think. And other people will invite you to be there friend because you have shown yourself to be a strong and honest person.
At least now you will know that when someone befriends you they will be doing it for real.
You might be a little famous as the current drama that has played out in school but like I say it will pass sooner than you think.
After you confront the bastar*ess, let it go and let the drama slip into everyones memory.
Good luck and keep your chin up. You bare no shame in being who you are so don't let them make you feel any.
Much love darling.

Answer 3

First of all, I would tell a tolerant teacher at school or a school resource officer (IE. a cop) about your situation. Then I would have him or her go with you while you tell your principal what is going on. What you went through is classified as cyber-bullying and it's an issue that schools are now taking very seriously. The good thing about telling a school resource officer over a teacher about what your friends did is that a school resource officer HAS to do something about it because he or she is also a cop. a teacher doesn't get into as much trouble if he or she doesn't do something about the situation.

Once things are "taken care of" so to speak, I would take other people's advice from here and join a GSA. After the betrayal you went through, you really need to find people that won't sell you down the river and who will accept ou just the way you are. Good luck and give them hell!

Answer 4

If your "friends" turned their backs on you because you're gay then they weren't your so-called friends. Because REAL FRIENDS don't pull that kind of b.s. You need to find some good and real friends that won't turn and run for not good d@mn reason. You really are better off without those morons, because they are probably dissing you right now.
If they insult you just let it roll of your back because you are sooooooooooooo much better than they are and because they have insulted you they aren't your friends afterall because friends don't do that to friends; period, no if's and's or but's. Write those shallow people off because you are better than they are.
There ARE support groups out there, so no you're not alone and yes there are straight people (like me) that don't care whether you're gay or not because your sexual orientation is only a very small fraction of who you really are and you will find friends, true friends, that will agree with me.

Good luck.

Answer 5

They never were your real friends. Now at least you can start out fresh, and make some true friends for yourself. Don't let those narrow minded people get you down at all. And, if anyone asks you straight out if you are gay, just smile and tell them you are. There are no doubt some in the crowd who are also gay, but don't dare mention it to anyone, and haven't come out yet. So they look for someone like yourself to be a scapegoat, to see what kinds of reactions you get from people. Just be yourself.

Answer 6

They weren't your friends anyway, friends don't treat friends like that. It was very wrong of your friend to invite everyone into a chat room and out you. Go out and find open minded people to become friends with, i know you feel rejected right now and i'm sorry, i know how it feels, i lost all my friends too. But believe me you're better off without them. Take some time for yourself in order to heal.

Answer 7

Be honest with yourself. Those friends are not good friends if they hate you for it. You can do better than having so called "friends" make fun of you for who you are! Don't deny it because that will make matters worse for you. If you want to continue the road of denial, ask a girl out and then if people question you say you were just kidding and wanted to see if they had a sense of "humor". But, this will only hurt yourself more and hurt the girl you're dating-esp if she falls in love with you.

Answer 8

Be realistic, they were not your friends because they should still be among your friend. I am assuming that you always had respect for them in the past. Depending of their age, some might think that because they are still your friend that they will be labelled as being gay themselves. Do not worry and time will make it easier for you. You are better alone and free to meet other (gay) like you. In few months, they will be missing your friendship. If you got hassling do not hesitate to let someone you trust knowing it in your environement (family member, teacher, priest, doctor, anybody responsible in this planet)

Answer 9

Don't listen to some of the jerks on here, you did not choose to be gay, you just are. Do listen to some of the sensible people on here. You did not really lose friends, you just realized that you were hanging out with people who don't deserve to be your friends. Trust me, I understand that it doesn't feel like that now, but it will. I went through something very similar when I came out to my friends. I told one person who swore she wouldn't tell anyone else, but she told all my other friends and I lost all but one of them. Then I had to go through the next two years of high school with them. At first the did tease me, look at me weird and make life pretty bad. I made it through though, and now, looking back, and am glad I lost my "friends" when I did. The one who didn't turn his back on me is still my friend. The only advice I can really give you is suck up your nerves and walk in to whatever situation it is you are afraid of walking in to with pride and an "I don't care what you think" attitude, even if you do care greatly what they think. Don't let them rule or ruin your life. There are people out there who will love you for who you are. You don't need those people's negative energy. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 10

This is going to be painful now, try to get through this and you will be better for it . I agree with the others that are telling you these are not your friends. If the scenario you think is going to happen actually plays out, simply say " I wonder why she did this. Something terrible must be going on in her life." Turn it around without being cruel.