What would you do if your teenage daughter was pushy with you?

Question

What would you do if your teenage daughter would forceably move you out of her way when you were too close to her, by shoving you? What about if she would not even acknowledge that you called her, and she heard you but never even moved? What if you asked her to do the dishes and a week later she hadn't moved, and you ended up doing them every night? What would you do if she hit you or got very physical?

I am unfortunately encountering all of the above.

I'm at a loss. I don't know where I went wrong...I'm a good mother.

I need some advice.

Answer 1

Doing the dishes for her after telling her to do them is telling her she can get away with ignoring you. Letting her push you is giving the same message. Letting her not acknowledge you when calling her : ditto. I would push her back, see how she likes it. Ignore her when she comes to you for money, or to drive her somewhere etc. Don't know how old she is, but if she has her own car, confiscate the keys til she acts like she deserves it. Stop cooking for her, if she's too lazy to wash up, she can be too lazy to eat. If you have younger kids, start early on them. My boys are prone to pretending they can't hear me, but stop it really quickly when I pretend I can't hear them asking to play PS2. And I know darn well I'll never have them get physical with me, because the couple of times they tried it they were really shocked when I hit them back just as hard.
I'm reall glad to see that you feel you're a good mother, it's really easy to fall prey to the bad mother syndrome. You are a good mother, and your daughter is a good kid, with a few behaviour hiccups!
Good Luck!

Answer 2

Wow sounds like your going through alot right now...How old is she? If she's 16 or older I would think it would be time to set her up on her own..maybe independent living..It would probably teach her a thing or two about what makes a house hold work. Sounds like she needs some space so she can think about what she wants. She might even get lonely without mommy around and want to be closer with you! If she is not that age yet you should try and get her some counseling so she can vent about why she's so angry and why your getting the wrath of it.Maybe it's just a phase who knows with teenagers but when I was young I acted the exact same way because I had alot bottled up inside..so I was given some concealing and it helped alot...Just think, a teenager has the whole high school pressure to deal with..Boyfriends, Friends, On top of it all they are dealing with alot of pressures..sex,drugs,alcohol. Now when there at home all they really want to do is rest and of course there gonna be angry..it's probably the only place they can be. I hope it all works out and believe me every teenager goes through this.

Answer 3

All of this didn't happen overnight. And it's not going to go away overnight. You didn't say how old your daughter is but obviously she is old enough to know better. First you need to stop whatever you are doing for her and giving to her (other than food and shelter of course). If she is old enough to work that is exactly what she needs to do. The next time she pushes or hits you, call the police and press charges. I guarantee she will think twice next time. Tough Love is sometimes your only choice. You are not doing her any favors by letting her get by with this. She will eventually run into someone that may do serious harm to her instead of letting her get away with it like you have.

Answer 4

If she hits you that is assualt. She can get into alot of trouble! I Suggest you try Family counselling or something similar because this is not right.
Teenagers do go through a rebelious stage in their life, But if she hits you, something must be done now before things get worse.
Hope this helps
Goodluck :)

Answer 5

If she hit me, I would file charges against her and let her go to juvenile court. I'd ground her and take away every privilege she has even if it meant taking out everything in her room except the mattress. I'd even take away her clothes and give her what I wanted her to wear each day. Teenagers are vain and can be motivated if you take away their ability to control their looks and environment. She sounds spoiled. I recommend counseling. If she couldn't wash the dishes, she'd eat off of paper plates.

Answer 6

I work with high risk youth in my job. I know that this may sound harsh but you need to set clear boundaries with her, if she crosses them there has to be a conseqence, if she is physical with you then you need to call the authorities and have her charged, I had to do with with my Foster Son and it was very difficult but I had to send him a clear message that this was not acceptable. Good Luck to you.

Answer 7

Let me guess, divorced? She is acting out. The only thing you can is show her more love. If you get angry at her you will just push her away even worse.