I like to give random presents is that nice or wierd?

Question

I enjoy giving presents, so much so that I give them at random times during the year, or when I think people need some cheering up. For instance this one girl mentioned that she misses salt water taffy since moving up, so I found this store that sold it and got it for her. or when this girl was going on a trip to Portugal, I found this 200 year old map of Portugal and got it for her before she left.

The thing is, I am not interested in these girls, I just like giving presents. I am starting to think that girls may get the wrong idea, I really hope this isn't the case, I've been doing this for years, but I am startign to think it is, which would be a shame if it's true, what do you think?

Answer 1

I will give you an honest answer. Giving gifts is nice, I agree. BUT I myself used to be an compulsive/impulsive gift-giver and had to re-evaluate my actions because people DID find it awkward.
I truly mean I was the same way, I think about other people constantly and remember things like when they mention they like something or cant find something then I LOVE to find it for them and give it as a surprise. Essentially I enjoy making people happy.

But the reality of the situation is that giving impulsive gifts at random times is, in essence, weird. Especially if it is done more than once.

Here are a few shallow reasons why some people think it is weird/awkward:
1) We live in a society that is quid pro quo. We expect that when we give something the other gives back and vice versa. Someone receiving a gift may feel awkward because they have nothing to give in return.

2) It tells the person that you were thinking about them. Sometimes people get creeped out when they realize they are being thought about (i.e. sometimes it is weird to tell someone that you had a dream about them... even if it is completely innocent).

3) People are not used to receiving random gifts, therefore it is uncomfortable.

4) Your motives may be questioned. They may think that you are trying to buy friendship or romance, even subconsciously it appears that way. I mean, I evaluated my actions and i realized I used to do it because I thought the person would like me more and realize how thoughtful I was... but in reality they were uncomfortable by my constant thoughtfulness and gift-giving.

5) The behavior of buying and giving random gifts is a bit obsessive.

Here are some things you can do to compromise:

1) If you feel COMPELLED to buy a gift and you end up purchasing it, don't give it right away. Keep it for an appropriate occasion (b-day, xmas..etc.) At this occasion only give ONE gift.. not a stockpile. For example the Portugal map, this could have been saved and given at a different time... chances are she did not NEED to have the map for her trip and would have appreciated it at a later date equally as much.

2) The person may not want something as bad as you think they do, so if you find something give them the option to buy it themselves! Your example with the Taffy is to tell the person that you ended up finding the taffy they were talking about at Store X, just as an FYI. So if they REALLY miss and want the taffy they can go get it themselves. It shows thoughtfulness that you remembered, but doesn't go overboard with a purchase. Remember, only tell them about it ONCE and never bring it up again unless they ask you.

3) If you feel someone needs cheering up then provide them with a listening ear and supportive advice... which is a great gift.

4) If you find something that you feel someone "must have/can't live without/would love" try to wait it out. Give yourself 1-2 days before actually making the purchase, you might find that within that time you keep finding other things that they "must have/cant live without/would love" which is a sign that you need to curb your purchasing and look into the real reason you are gifting and what void you are trying to fill.

5) remember it is ABSOLUTELY OK to think about yourself every once and a while. You should be sure to gift yourself more than anybody else.

I bet you are naturally a great gift-giver. I am the same way, I love holiday shopping and take great interest in finding things that the person will suit the person perfectly. When the occasion is right you will have your chance to show your thoughtfulness. Just break the habit of being impulsive and random. Believe me, it is a habit!


Remember, people appreciate expressed thoughtfulness in small doses... it is more comfortable that way.

Answer 2

I can see what you mean. For some people, they only give and receive presents when they have a special relationship with people. So receiving a present from you could give them the impression that you have special feelings for them. But I think it would be a real shame for you to stop this lovely behavior just because a few people might get the wrong idea. When giving the present, you could say something like, "I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to come onto you or anything, but I thought you might enjoy this little gift."

The more money and effort you spend on the gift, the more likely they are to feel that you are trying to start a romantic relationship with them. So in the future, I'd say more taffy, less 200-year-old maps.

Answer 3

its like this,ur a nice guy and all but its not a nice world so u giveng out random gifts is going to send out the wrong idea the world needs more ppl like u.....but then aging i dont beleve ur giveing away free stuff for notting u went looking 4 a store that sold slat water u went looking 4 a 200 yr old map on the real i think u give away free stuff to get not so free some booty

Answer 4

My mom always told me there are two types of people in the world; givers and takers. I am also a giver. It makes me feel good. Tell the girls that you like giving gifts, and not looking for anything more. I think it is very nice and thoughtful. The world needs more givers, who are giving to make the other person happy.

Answer 5

Yesterday, my daughter & I were at the store and my daughter pointed to something and said she wish she could have it. I told her maybe another time. Well, a guy behind be over heard her and said he would get it for her. At first I said no, he didn't have to, but then he said that he had been recently blessed and wanted to share his blessings with others. Sadly, I did think at first he was trying to come on to me or something and using my daughter as an excuse to meet me. But he was probably just being generous, so I let him share his blessings with me.

Answer 6

Both! I give presents to friends and co-workers every now and then, when I come across something that reminds me of them or something I think they would like or laugh at. Usually its books, but sometimes it will be something white trash, like an Ayden Collard Festival t-shirt (thats for my friends in CA).

Answer 7

don't be too freaked out approximately it. exceedingly in case you reside in a particularly risk-free community. I consider every person who says to ask a neighbor approximately it. despite the case, I in all hazard does no longer positioned the observe in my window, purely in case it became some way for a burglar to make some sort of observe.

Answer 8

i think its a very nice, kind and considerate idea, i think its sad that so many people are so sceptical they think you're giving something for a reason other than the joy of giving someone something thoughtful, keep doing it, perhaps its like smiling at someone, if you do it often enough someone will do it to someone else.........

Answer 9

You're a rare creature emascualted in male gender. Continue to bless others with your gifts. If they take it the wrong way, then that's there problem. I personally would welcome any gifts as long as you didn't try to shove your tongue down my throat.

Answer 10

i think you're classy. it feels good to get gifts out of nowhere. it means you crossed someone's mind. someone actually thought about you.