Should I stay with my babys father?

Question

I am 2 months pregnant and the father keeps fighting with me, and leaving. Then comeing back 3 days later saying hes sorry and he wants this family. Should I keep taking him back or kick him to the curb. I'm 22 and can't afford rent on my own. THis will be my first child and I am scared. I don't want to do it alone, but will if it is the best thing for me and my child. He just gets so mad over little things like me asking him not to cuss at me. I even said please. He got in my face punched our dog that was sitting in my lap, and told me he was leaving. He calls me a phsycotic whore and I have never cheated on him. I love him, that's why I keep taking him back. This will make the 5th time. I need some advice.

Answer 1

PLEASE leave him immediately! Your first responsible action as a mother is to have a safe and loving environment for your baby. If this man can punch a defenseless dog, what makes you think he is far from punching a pregnant woman and then eventually, shake a baby who is crying, or hit a young child for wetting the bed?

This man has no respect for you. He calls you degrading names and leaves you only to come back when he feels like it. Don't believe his apologies! If he was really sorry, he would get help immediately to change his ways. Be the best role model for your baby and have self-respect, refuse to be treated in this manner! Your baby will grow up knowing you had so much love for him/her that you were brave enough to go it alone rather than be with an abusive partner. You can find a way to get rent...if not, is there family, friends to help you?

Believe me, I grew up watching my mother get physically and verbally abused and I prayed every day for my parents' divorce. And now I am a single mother because my ex was verbally abusive and cheated on me and did not show me respect. I'd rather my children be without an 2 parent family than be subjected to the terror I went through as a child. You will find someone who loves and respects you and your baby. But you need to love and respect yourself (and your baby) first.

Depending on where you live, you may be able to find a group home to live at while you are pregnant. Look it up on the internet.
I feel for you and hope you get out of your abusive relationship. I wish I could help more.

Good luck! Try these:

http://www.safehouse.org/
http://www.lifecall.org/

Answer 2

That sounds kind of violent, punching the dog? You are taking him back because you love him? So what, you love him, but logically he sounds like a total nightmare, yelling, cussing, fighting with you, leaving for days at at time. He's not reliable now, what makes you think he will be later? Don't let your feelings interfere with your ability to make good choices for your life. If he really wants to be with you, ask him to take an anger management class and SHOW you how much you and the baby mean to him. IN the meanwhile, figure out a way to go it alone, because that will be better than the roller coaster he's got you on.

Answer 3

Leave while you can! It is going to be hard and scary...but would you rather be struggling for awhile to make ends meet or be dealing with the stress of your relationship. Respect yourself and don't put up with that crap....because he is definitely not respecting you or the baby. He is not the only man out there. Yes, he is the father of your unborn child, and you will probably have to deal with him later down the road. But you need to think about the environment you want your child to be raised in. He just doesn't sound like good news. And he if is already leaving you for days at a time...what because he is scared....how do you think he is going to be when the baby arrives? Respect and love yoursef ...and move on.

Answer 4

honey..You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you & your babies.From what you have said this is not the man for you.There are several thing's that concern me.If he get's mad at you because you ask him not to cuss at you (which he should not be doing in the first place)that is a sign of immaturity and disrespect.If he does not respect you then he certainly cannot love you.He also has no right to get in your face.The fact that he punched your dog is a BIG RED FLAG.That behavior shows that he has a violent temper and eventually that violence will be taken out on you & possibly even your baby.I know that you are young and this is your first baby and it is scary but,you need to leave this man now.The fact that he keep's getting mad and leaving is just going to put stress on you which also put's stress on your baby.He is not going to change once you have the baby thing's will only get worse if he will walk out on you now he will walk out on you after you have the baby.You may think that you love him and maybe you really do but he does not love you and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect he is not going to change.I am sure that you can count on your family for help.Move back home and get your life straight you can't just think about yourself you now have a baby to care for.You will meet the right person that will love you & your baby and this guy is not for you.Once you have the baby make sure you go through the legal process for him to pay child support..I have been in your situation and i made it through everything and so will you.You are strong and you have to do the right thing for you & your baby.Feel free to e-mail or IM me anytime and I will help you anyway that I can.Please leave him now before something bad happens.Good Luck.I am here for you.

Answer 5

You need to leave, find a friend to stay with or family. He has some issues that he will finally take it out on you. Especially when the baby come and all you attention is on the child. Ask your doctor for some advice, because all this stress can not be good for you and the baby. The most important thing is the baby and the mother. Not HIM

Answer 6

I was in a very similar situation. I was 22 and pregnant with my son. I was engaged to his father, but had serious doubts about the relationship. He had lied to me, stolen from me, and cheated on me. Even so, it was still difficult to leave. I was not sure how my family would react and since I had not finished college, I had serious doubts about how I would be able to support myself and my son.

I ended up leaving him and living with my parents for about 2 yrs after my son was born. It was difficult at first, but I was able to finish school, move out, and get a very good job. Now, my son is 8, and I have absolutely no regrets about my decision. When I made my decision, I had to ask myself, if he is treating me this way before we're married and before our son is born, why would he change after we're married and the baby is born? I also had to ask myself, is this the type of man I want my son to grow up to be or do I want my daughter to grow up believing this is how a man is supposed to treat his partner?
Good luck

Answer 7

I think you need to stop taking him back. You must to be independent for you and your child. There reason he keeps mistreating you is b/c you allow it and can't do anything for yourself. You to a family member, or friend. Just stop letting him abuse you and your child. You can get some type of help until your child is born. But you have to take care of yourself and the child. It will not be easy, but you must do it. Best wishes.

Answer 8

for the sake of your child get away from him!! I know that's not an easy thing to do considering you love him but if he loved YOU would he keep cussing at you and leaving? is that the role model you want for your baby? think about it...if you want to deal with that for the rest of your life then go ahead

Answer 9

Wear a condom from now and and yes leave. It will only get worse. Not a good place to raise a child. You can do it alone just be creative. This is a BAD man. Run.

Answer 10

you need to get out of there quickly is there not anyone else you can go to yo are better then he is and you are bring a child into this world and the baby need to be safe good luck for you and you child