my mum wont give me son back!!!!!?

Question

its a bit of a long story so ill keep it short i got preg when i was 17 the father left me so i was on my own but i had my mum.any way i got postnatal depresion but i never told any 1 coz i was scared that they would take him off me anyway my depression got worse and i started going out all the time leaving him with my mum.then she threw me out but said get ur self together and ill gladley give him bck.so i did.i got helf im fine now i have other children but she wont let go and its really gettin me down any advive would be great

Answer 1

and she calls her self your mother she should give him back to you
good luck hun xxx
dont you dare give up the fight to get him back

Answer 2

Well is your mum the childs legal guardian?If not then you have every right to take your son back.I suspect that your mum has become attached to her grandson,and kind of see's him as her own son in some ways?
You need to speak to your mum face to face and explain that you where very gratefull for her taking care of him when you went down the wrong path in life,but that he is 'your' son and he needs to be with his mother,and 'you' need a chance to be a proper mother to him and make up for the past.Post natel depression is hard enough for any woman to deal with,let alone a 17 year old single mother,so there should be no blame on the past,just the need to make up and look forward to the future together

Answer 3

leave him where he is....if he's settled don't uproot him, you can still see him any time you want...start off by taking him for the odd day and see how it goes from there, he has to get to know your other children too, if this works then try weekends with him, he's got to get used to your surroundings...you didn't say how old your son was...you have to gain your mothers trust again, she is worried that you'll relapse, prove to her that you can do this and she will start trusting you again...don't make a fight out of it because it will cause unnecessary pain to your child...stay on her side and go about it the right way, don't forget who's been taking care of him, he could have ended up anywhere, so your mother did the right thing by taking him into her care...she's your mother and she has looked after him, so just meet her half way, good luck

Answer 4

oh i have my grandchildren living with me, but thier mum dont, want them back, but if she had a place and did not drink so much she could. you have to show you are a responsible adult
i suppose she is just concerned for them. She should of been understnading though if you were depressed as i sufferred depression after my first child. My daughter took drugs and left them with people so the social services brought them round and she could of had them back if she attended a parenting course adn she did not want to. she don,t even visit them and i could do with a break. She sounds a real control freak and i woujld not be surprised if she had something to do with your depression see a counsellor. and get some advice from a lawyer or someone. Contact social services. The kid maybe seetled though.

Answer 5

Well it sounds like it's been a few years now, especially since you have other children. You don't give enough information for us to know whether you've been in contact with your son all this time or whether he is aware that you are his mother. It is probably a good idea for you to go to your social services department or local court to petition at least for regular visitation and/or counseling for you and your son. It might be good for him to meet and get to know his siblings to give him a better sense of family, but I think it might be a good idea to wait and let him make the decision to move with you. If he's had a stable home with your mother all of this time, why break that bond unless she is not allowing you access to him or denying that you're his mother?

Answer 6

The longer you leave it the harder it will get............

How long has she had him?

Are you completely sorted?

Grand parents have no rights over there grandchildren and the only avenue that would get her custody of him is via social services which obviously if your a great mum and put your kids first she will not have a case......

My friend is going through the same thing, she wont recieve legal aid either unless you are an unfit mother so unless she has lots of money to pay legal costs she will not win..........

Answer 7

Perhaps your mum feels that your son isn't ready for the upheavel yet. If he's happy and settled then it could do more harm than good to move him at the moment, you dont say how old your son is or how long he's been with your mum, perhaps if your son is old enough you could ask what he wants. It may be that your mum feels you need to build a relationship with your son first so that she can see for herself that he's happy with you. Try not to judge your mum too hard chances are she's trying to do her best for everyone and dont forget your mum has feelings too. good luck

Answer 8

First I'd ask myself if he's better off where he is, is he happy? Has he bonded with your mum? How old is he? Would he feel left out with the other kids?

If you are really set on getting him back I'd do it slowly, with your mums cooperation (remind her of her promise) to minimise family rows, after alls said and done you are all family.

As a last measure get the law and social services on side he is your son after all.

Answer 9

If you did not sign legal guardianship over to her then she has no right to keep your child from you. Seek police intervention. You can also take her before the courts to get custody back if you did sign your child over. You are the natural parent and as such you have a legal standing above your mother.

Answer 10

has she got legal rights to keep him ? if you have other children does she have evidence why she doesnt want you to have him back? how old is he? if any of these are no she has no chance in keeping him. go to your solicitor and see what they have to say. if you are settled with yourself and you have other children then she has no right to keep him away from you. all i do say is please dont make it ugly for your son as you dont know what your mother has been telling him.i work for abused children and ive seen what it can do to some kids that are dragged through court cases just so either parent can have custody. if you have any questions you can e mail me and i will answer any questions i can.

good luck

Answer 11

how old is your son - can he speak for himself? if he his happy with his life visit him regularly make some bonds and see where it leads.... slowly does it ....he is not your property he didn't ask to be born he is a person in his own right.. A steady loving relationship buildt over time is much better than him being in the middle of the tug of war... Family is good but only when its true and stable.