My husband and I have been separated for about a year now. We decided we are going to work things out, after he "finds" himself. He is sick of where he is living and doesn't like it there. I want to try and convice him to come home and live with me, but I don't want to sound pushy or have him feel like i am forcing him to do anything. How do i gently coax him into moving back home?
2006-12-31 20:03:21 · 15 answers · asked by gothgirl13131 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey gothgirl, sorry to hear about your separation. A year is a long time. I would suggest asking him to come home so the two of you can work through your differences, selfishness, and faults together. Yes, one needs to find himself before loving another, but if you two are one in marriage, you need to do this together. Go to marriage counseling. If you want counseling to work, try to find a faith based counselor if you are a believer in faith. If you truly want to work things out ask yourself, do I want to act differently towards my husband? Do I feel guilty? Why don't I do these things for him? How can I work on this? How will I continue to grow throughout our marriage? Do not keep false promises. I too am separated and can relate, but each situation is different and our feelings are different. Do not beg, nag, or get frustrated to him when asking him to come back to your home. It will push him away. Men do not like to be questioned about their decisions since they feel as if their decision is not the right one and they are incompetent. If you want, email me at SillieKimi@cs.com or IM me anytime. If you read, I suggest The 10 things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr Laura, of course, Men are From Mars Women are From Venus, and if you are a believer in faith, the Bible. Walk through life with God and He will guide you and your husband through life. Take care! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
2006-12-31 20:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off why did you separate in the first place? If it was because of cheating or something abusive I'd say move on because it will never get any better.
If not, then call him, start talking again, suggest you are ready to take things slow and want to make this marriage work - Express your love for him and you are empty with out him. You need to cater to his emotions so he knows you really do love him with all your heart. Take it slow but after you are on a good communication level then suggest to him he should come back.
2006-12-31 20:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. If you try and "make him" do something he doesn't want to do yet, it will end in sure doom! You need to get in a happy place! If you make a happy home, he will want to come back! But it can't be a fascade! Just deal with your own issues and be generally happy and things will work out like they should. Either he will come back or he won't, the only destiny you can control is your own!
2006-12-31 20:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by sixfoot8bkr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take him out for a yummy dinner and just casualy suggest that he could move back in with you. If he doesn't jump at the chance than I would just leave him to make up his own mind. But if you guys are already married and are wanting to give it another go than I don't see why he would want to say no. Good Luck!
2006-12-31 20:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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RE:
How can i convince my husband to come home?
My husband and I have been separated for about a year now. We decided we are going to work things out, after he "finds" himself. He is sick of where he is living and doesn't like it there. I want to try and convice him to come home and live with me, but I don't want to sound pushy...
2015-08-06 21:20:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has been gone a year, and he still needs to find himself, usually means he is with someone else, and can't decide who he wants to be with. if he truly wanted to come home nothing in the world would stop him. ask him to come home, ask him once, if he doesn't it means he is with someone else and wants to be with them. u need to flat out tell him what u want out of him and stop beating around the bush, think u have a fear of him rejecting u and it not working out the way u want it to. what he is doing is keeping u on hold, holding up your life and future. not fair to u at all, but if he refuses to come home and be a husband than end it, and move on. chances are if it's been over a year now that he doesn't intend on coming home right now.
2007-01-01 01:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at this perspective, the outside looking in. If he is sick of where he is living, he will work it out. You should not have to coax him out. If you are seperated, and want to work it out, leave it to the professionals. When you enable people, you are not helping them. Many relationships take the worse of two courses when there are "rescuers". Take care of yourself first. When he is mature enough to figure out what he wants, then go from there.
2006-12-31 21:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by JAY S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grovel
2007-01-01 03:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont. I am getting ready to go through a seperation myself annd the last thing that I want is to have her keep trying to get me to come back. If it is realy ment for you to be with him then he will come back to you. Just remind him that the door is open. and place it in gods hands from there.
2006-12-31 20:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by tiger 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he doesn't like where he's living, that he's more than welcome to move back in with you. Just tell him even though you two are not together, you can still be friends/maybe be back together.
2006-12-31 20:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by julieanthony469 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋