im a newly married gal of age 22years.. i and my hubbi hv been together for almost 6 years then we decided to get married.. before wen we were dating, i stil had this kind of thoughts.. but thought it will vanish once im married.. but NO! i have got even more scared. Y??
2006-12-27 18:35:30 · 14 answers · asked by sUnseT 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal to feel like that for a little while. I had the same feelings that you are feeling. I was also very insecure with my self too. Like you think that maybe you are not good enough, but if you are good enough for him to marry, then you should not worry about it. Try to spend more time with him and maybe that will help with your insecurities. Good Luck!!
2006-12-27 18:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there congratulations about youre marriage ,the problem with youre fears is somewhere along the line you have got it into youre head that he is better than you and that he will bugger of with some one else ????,why would a man marry someone that he doesnt want to live with for the rest of his life with ......you sweetheart have to get this under control or this will cause a lot of damage to a marriage that has no problems you need to stop and sit down and try and work out where this feeling came from was it youre husband ?? a jealous friend ??that really fancies you husband andthe fact that youre husband is not interested in any one but you could ,i do not know where this has come from but from where im sitting you need to talk to youre husband nd talk to him about youre feelings nd with his help you can get through this you and him have been together for 6 years and you got married i would say that youre man that sleeps with you every night and makes love to you is 100% in love with you .....so start believing in this .....you are a great team together and if he has been there through 6years then lose these feelings and get youre head round the fact that this guy is going no where with out you .......go and talk to him and get this sortd ..ok good luck nd take care of each other xx
2006-12-28 03:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you obviously have very low self esteem for some reason. You and your new husband have been together almost 6 yrs and l am sure he would not have married you if he did not love you. Is your husband very affectionate towards you ?? l honestly don't know why you would be afraid he will find someone better. He obviously loves YOU stop stressing and enjoy being married to a man who obviously wants to be married to you. Good luck
2006-12-28 02:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand how you feel - I felt that way with my ex girlfriend. In my opinion, it was one of the key factors that lead to the downfall of our relationship (there were others that you guys most likely lack, thank God, but still). My problem, in retrospect, is that I didn't value MYSELF enough. You have to realize that you are THE BEST person on the entire planet for your husband. He can't find it better anywhere else - you are THE one and only! You have to value yourself highly enough that if for some reason he DID leave, it wouldn't phaze you because you know he won't be happy without you; but being happy with yourself and valuing yourself on an equal level to where you value him is the key.
Find a way to value yourself as much as you value him. Don't be afraid to go to counseling or therapy for this - that's why the occupation exists! But do some serious work on it, because especially being as young as you are, it can save the relationship.
2006-12-28 04:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel. i felt the same way when i first went out with my boyfriend. i mean, he's hot, fricken buff, he's a military dude, and i was sure that with all the chicks lookin at him he'd walk away some day. but after a while he made those thoughts go away because he made me understand that he loved me more than life itself and how much he cared for me. from that point on, i know that i can trust this guy with my life and that he'd never leave. it's all a question of trust. he's in the marines and will end up on a ship w/ the navy next deployment out. that means traveling to forign countries and stuff. i'm in the navy myself and know how the grls in other countries react to men in uniform. they're all over em! but i trust that he wouldn't do anything stupid to hurt me or our relationship. trust is the foundation of any relationship. it has to be in order for it to work. trust him. talk to your man about the thoughts you've been having. communicate w/ him. you've been together for 6 years right? there's gotta be a reason he's stuck with you for that long. if he wasn't in love with you, you would've known a long time ago. the fear that you have is probably either a lack of trust in him or lack of confidence in yourself. maybe both.
2006-12-28 02:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by LuvingMBLAQ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As the saying goes, no one can tell you a more scary story to yourself than your own mind.
Look, you have insecurities because you have failed to let yourself believe you deserve to have his love. Ask yourself why and give yourself the honest answer.
If you keep telling yourself your not worthy, eventually you will believe it and therefore so will he.
Just look at where you started and where you have ended up.If you truly were not worthy than why have you been together for 6 years and why did he marry you? I will tell you why, cause you are worthy and he loves you and you love him and the 6 years proves it. "Don't fear what you have, fear that you will never decide to appreciate it"
2006-12-28 02:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing here. But I would say it is lack of confidence. If he loves you enough to marry you, just relax. He doesn't think there is anyone better than you or he wouldn't have married you. Is there anyone better than him? If you said no, that is probably how he feels too. Have a little faith in yourself.
2006-12-28 02:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by misstigeress 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he cheated in 6 years? Given you a reason 2 think he would? If not then stop worring and get a hobby and enjoy your marriage
2006-12-28 02:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by undeniable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no guarentees in life, but you need to have some respect and see yourself as being worthwhile More often than not this comes from your doubts not his. If he is actually the type to justify your doubts then maybe he isn't the one for you. If you want to 'fix' things look to your own doubts first.
2006-12-28 02:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by doktordbel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a self esteem problem. If he does find someone else (not better) There's not much you can do about it. Give yourself more credit, and enjoy the relationship instead of worrying.
2006-12-28 02:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋