What do you think my husband problem is?

Question

He thinks that he should be the boss of everything, money, kids, cars, home, but he does nothing, works and that is it. always saying things like if i dont like to move out, that i need him more than he needs me.

Answer 1

My soon to be ex and his brother are like that. His brother is so bad to the extent that his wife is not "allowed" to even step foot out that door to even take out the garbage without his "permission" first. You work, though. You need to get it through that HE needs YOU more than you need him. He KNOWS that he needs you more, and to put you down to make himself feel better, he tells you the opposite. He only tells you these things because you let him, and he knows he is lying through his yellow teeth. You know what? Leave him. Or, better yet, leave the children with him. Let him see just how much he needs you. Or take the children and go to a friend he doesn't know about. Scare some sense into him. If that doesn't work, divorce. Don't waste your valuable life on his worthless overgrown infantile bum. You are a lot more valuable, and even in death settlements, women go for more than men. The only thing a man is good for is sperm, and that can be bought at the bank. Otherwise, they're just a nuisance and a hinderance. I used to tell my soon to be ex, if I wanted to adopt a child I would have chosen the child and cared for it, not married it and had other children with it.

Answer 2

Let's get this under a microscope.

My ex-wife told me I was the boss of everything too.

Trouble is, she never made one decision and always put the task on my shoulders. Then as we divorced she scolded me for never letting her make any decisions.

Hmmm... I may be wrong, but I may be right.

If you enable him to always make the decisions, then you have to live with it.

In my case my ex remarried and to date, her current husband is a sheer control freak. Why? Because she is now enabling him to do the same thing she always wanted me to do.

The difference though is I no longer have to deal with her and she once again has a husband that's probably driving her nuts as a result.

So in my opinion, make sure you speak your mind, offer your assistance and advice and become an integral part in decision making. Chances are he'll adore it after he sees how much you have to offer.

It could cause a little friction, but working together is far better than only one person making decisions.

Then again if he is a control freak all alone and you don't enable him... Stay with a friend or relative for two weeks and DON'T go back home unless he asks. Be done with the pr!ck.

Answer 3

Some men feel like the only real responsibility he has is to bring home the bacon. Is it possible that you aren't giving him credit for everything he does? I know that raising kids, doing the housework, shopping, laundry, cooking, etc is a lot of work and can be over whelming. Could it be that you are feeling so over whelmed with what you do that you fail to see some of the things he really does do, but you just don't notice? I am not saying it is this way, but asking in case it is a possibility.

Maybe you need to let some of the duties go and let him see what happens if you don't take care of your things. If he starts griping about it, tell him that if he doesn't need you, then he can do it himself. But if he needs you to take care of things around the house, then you need him to show you some respect for the part you take care of and you feel you deserve to give some input. A marriage isn't just one person, it take two to make it all work together.

Answer 4

posseve little b.a.s.t.a.r.d. ehh? you got to let him know where you stand, if you back down and let him make the choises for you, then hes just gonna keep being the arshole and the whole '' you need me more than i need you'' crap is just his own insecurities and hes a coward for saying so, verbal abuse is just as bad as mental and physical abuse. maybe him wanting to take care of everything gives him common ground, and saying things make him fell secure with the marrage, he might not want you to go and he maybe scared that you would so he uses reverse phycology or he just cant say how he feels.
and to control the money and the kids, the cars, if the car is under his insurance then he may feel the need to be in control, and the house to, the kids should be both parents and and there aint no I in parents.if hes the only one bringing in the money then the controlling issue is in play but if both of you work then the money, house, car and bills should be both of yours. you must work as a union not making the home a divide and concoure invironment. try to reconsile with him and come to a conclusion, possesive people need some of what they give back, they dont like it but thats the only way they can comprehend how you feel

Answer 5

Because of the the golden rule....he brings in the "gold" and feels he can make the rules... probably a product of his upbringing.... my advice is to get some education and a job....then you can start looking for a new husband. Next time he comes up with the comment of "move out" or "you need him more" let him know that you might move out, take his kids take his car, sue him for child support and take half his money....its the way most divorce courts look at it.

Answer 6

I don't think much of your husband. God made Eve from a rib from Adam, that way they were side by side and equal. He didn't take a bone out of Adam's foot.
What's up with all the threats? Does he even understand the words dignity, respect, or even alimony? Try this, ask him to try to put on a pair of your pants. He'll tell you he can't get into your pants. Tell him yes, and if he don't change, he'll never get into them again. LOL Just something to make you smile.
If he's steadfast in his attitude, then maybe it's time for you to start thinking about your choices for the future. Life is too short to be miserable. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 7

Your husband things because he brings home the beacon that makes him king of the house and I am assuming you don't work or make enough so he things you need him. Its an old school mentality. If he does not listen to anything you say then someone needs to tell him that its a 50/50 responsibility.

Answer 8

It sounds like he brings home the bacon and therefore feels that since he's footing the bill to everything he has a say so. I don't know what your side of the story is, so it's hard to say if the problem is solely him or if you play a part in it as well. It always takes two to tango.

Regardless, the fact that he talks to you that way means he has "0" respect for you and I for one would not put up with that kind of crap. Not knowing what your personal situation is, such as any young children, do you have any financial means of your own?

Attempt to seek counseling with him, but if he's saying crap like "You don't like it move out and you need me more than I need you." you aren't going to get very far or have much luck with him.

I for one would seek to leave him, but only because I have too much respect for myself to put up with that kind of attitude and I don't want my children to be raised by a man who talks to his wife in such a manner. I don't know your situation or if you've done anything that merits his treatment.

Answer 9

I'd have a talk with him about it. You shouldn't be the one who has to sit back and wait for him to make the decision. A marriage is equal and he is not treating it like he should. If he understands then he should at least try and change his macho ego and give you half the plate. If not then it's no use trying. It might turn out to be an abusive relationship or a controlling one. so i'd say speak with him about it if he's still not understanding then seperate for awhile, then you will see WHO NEEDS WHO.

Answer 10

The problem with your husband is that he is an *ss. If my husband ever told me I needed him more than he needed me and I should move out if I dont like it, I would have my bags packed and the following day when he went to work I would be gone. What a total piece of sh*t you have there.