How do I prevent unwanted visitors?

Question

Friends and family "drop by" unannounced almost every day. It seems I can't get anything done around the house. Whether it's laundry, making dinner, or just plain relaxing, uninvited guests seem to make themselves at home with no consideration of my private time.
I'm thinking about putting a sign on my front door which states "No Solicitors; Visitors by appointment Only".
So- bottom line- how do I politely make it known to people that I would enjoy some time to myself, and that although they are welcome to visit, I would appreciate some notice before they just come ringing my doorbell...?

Answer 1

I actually just don't answer the door sometimes. I NEVER answer if I'm home alone and a peek out the window reveals a stranger.

You can always say you were in the shower, or cleaning with headphones on, or napping. Then say "When I (nap/clean/whatever) I keep the phone by me, so if you call before stopping over, I will know you're on your way."

Or something to that effect.

Answer 2

Get a good deadbolt, a chain lock, and don't answer the door. If they call later and say, I came by, you were home but didn't answer, you say, Oh, I wasn't expecting you...I really need a call before a visit so I can be dressed, or whatever excuse you want to add. The key is the "I really need a call first". And next time they come by without calling, do it again. I guarantee 3 or 4 times will be enough. They might be a bit sniffy about it, but they're asking for it, too. Don't worry so much about being polite! How polite are they? They're ignoring your wishes in your house. That's not what I call polite!

I have a sign that says: "If I didn't invite you here, DON'T KNOCK ON THIS DOOR. No sales, no uninvited visitors, no lawn work, no religious info. Enforced by Smith & Wesson. I shoot first, then check the porch." Radical, maybe, but it works. Had to take it down for Halloween, though! Didn't want to scare off the trick-or-treaters!

Answer 3

I used to have that problem because I allowed people to come to my house and even if they inconvenienced me, I would let them stay without making it known that I didn't appreciate unannounced visitors. So one by one, when people came by I would open the door and say, "Oh, I didn't know you were coming. I am not really prepared to receive company. I am sorry, perhaps you can come back tomorrow, but make sure you call first."

Slowly people starting getting the hint and now, people know not to come to my house unless I they call first or I invite them. In general, I never had to be rude or nasty to anyone they understood as long as I stopped them at the door and I made it known that they came at an inconvenient time. But some people you will have to hurt because they will be insistent about coming in. So be prepared for some backlash.

Answer 4

Polite? Don't answer the door.. hide the car .. take the phone off the hook.

If they don't take the hint move somewhere that is a little to far for them to just drop by.

OR move to a security apt building.... preferably one with no doorbell at all :D

Another one is.. "Oh sorry I didn't hear the doorbell I was 1. In the shower 2. Asleep 3. Listening to music with headphones on."

I had the same problem..... but I ended up moving to the security building and pretending not to be home.

Answer 5

From now on whenever anyone stops by, don't even let them in. If they're the type who just tap on the door and let themselves in, escort them back to the door and politely say, "Oh jeez, Susan, I really wish you had called first. I'm just on my way out the door to run some errands, so I can't visit. I'm sorry!" or "I'm SO sorry mom, but now really just is NOT a good time. I'm so busy, I have so much to do (whatever excuse you want to use). I'll call you tomorrow and maybe we can go out to lunch and chat this weekend." Eventually after turning people (politely, of course!) away enough times, it WILL sink in that you would appreciate a call first.

Answer 6

Great question and I am the perfect person to answer that question. I never have a doorbell. The last three places I have had the first thing I do is remove the door bell. Secondly, the next thing is tell everyone that I know to call before they come over. Do not pop in. No one is offended it works wonderfully.

Answer 7

The note is not a bad idea, but I might word it a bit differently. I don't answer my door when I am swamped. If you want to get the idea across, a note on the door explaining you are unable to visit at the moment, but leave their name and number on a pad by the door and you will get back to them. Kind of like a paper answering machine! If they continue to beat on the door, just answer it and make it clear that you need to finish things that you have started. While you would like to visit, this is just a bad time and if they could call next time they won't waste their gas or time coming by for naught.

Answer 8

You poor thing!

Miss Manners said the best thing is to not let them past the door. Keep it locked if they are in the habit of walking in.

She also said the best thing to do is tell them, "Oh, I'd love to ask you in, but I was just on my way out." I know that won't work on hard cases such as you describe, so try another of Miss Manners's tricks. It goes like this:

"I'd love to ask you in, but I just can't."
"Why not?"
"Because it's just impossible."
"Well, why is it impossible?"
"Because today, I just can't. I'm so sorry."
"Oh, come on."
"Today is just impossible. (said while closing the door) I would have loved to have sat down with you, it's really too bad, so be SURE to call me, next time you're in the area."

Notice the total lack of a specific reason, as well as the refusal to discuss what the inconvenience might be.

Also note the slow but steady closing of the door.

Good luck!

Answer 9

If your callers continue to arrive unannounced after you have asked them to phone first, you can choose not to answer the door. If you do open it, you can always say, "I sure wish I could invite you in, but I am in the middle of something. Can you come back some other time?" If they have any sense at all, they will understand that you are not being rude.

Answer 10

When the uninvited visitors arrive just continue doing whatever it is you need to accomplish. They will get bored. If you do this enough times they will eventually get the hint and stop coming by unannounced.