I am in process of divorce, but we are trying to reconcile before our hearing so that if we get it together, we will stay married, and if not, we will go ahead and support the divorce.
My husband is an excellent lover. He makes me feel like nothing else. It's probably why I married him, and he is caring too.....but he SUCKS at being a civil person all together, which is why I filed.
My problem is......I have been having fantasies and curiosities about being with a woman. He doesn't know, and never will. I've even posted an ad about it. I've gotten some replies. I am just so curious and I think I want to find out what it's like.
But I wonder if I am making a mistake. Women, have any of you done this before? Discreetly? Secretly? Was it worth it? Was it a night mare? Help me because I haven't done anything yet, and can still back out. I am getting cold feet.....but then when other parts get hot....I get curious again. HELP!!!!
2006-12-15 06:09:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Similar situation....my husband is a great lover. But he is a simple man who likes things his own way. He's a bit stubborn and a bit narrow minded. I've heard it said that if the sex is good it can make up for 90 percent of the problems and if the sex is bad it only makes a 10 percent difference in the relationship... the man is a total package... give your marriage a fair shake (no pun intended) and keep another person out of it... until and unless its over...then explore what you will y ou are an adult.
In the meantime, I went to some alanon meetings (my husband doesn't drink but I thought if they can learn to live with alcoholics I might learn something). They were very helpful and I picked up some literature... most helpful was the 5 G's... get out of his way, get off his back, give him to God, go to a meeting (be productive), and get into God (pray).
Where's your focus? You'll find what you are looking for. If you are looking for flaws and problems, you'll find those. Make a list of the reasons you married him. Is it still true? I'd also recommend spending some time ALONE. You picked him. And if it turns out he really is the jerk you think he is....then why did you pick him?
2006-12-15 06:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think the worst thing you could possibly do is bring someone into this mess. You don't know what you want to do get a divorce or try and make it work. So until you decide what you are doing dont add to the already uncertainty of what is going on. good luck to you and God bless****
2006-12-15 14:23:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about the divorce, sort out yourself first. that leads to the other- if the urge to find out is really that strong then go ahead. personally, i never had the urge but a lot of my male friends say they would like to see 2 women.
so if your marriage is really on the brink, then admit to him and try it- NOT a threesome. just him watching you in action with a woman. it may spice up your marriage too.
2006-12-15 14:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i say is go through with the divorce. Though you may love him it seems as though you arent sure about being with him. Go and explore your curiosity because if you dont and you stay married that is always trouble.
2006-12-15 14:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you trying to make unsual stuff? Do you have kids and if you are planing on having them how do you think they will like to someday know about what you might have done in your past...what kind of guidence and moral will you be able to provide to your kids...
Think about that, ans if you really love your husband you should examine what you're about to do................
2006-12-15 18:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by recently married 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like a man woman affair, a woman woman affair can end in turmoil, there has to be ground rules, ,what will you do if it is the awesome experience you think it is?? you have to think of all aspects before doing any of it,, plus diseases, herpes,, warts,, etc.
it would be such a perfect world of affairs if only they could cure the diseases,
2006-12-15 14:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is sounds like you are basing all your decisions on sex, he's an excellent lover, but now you are trying to decide if you should be sexual with women. Life isn't ONLY about sex you know....
2006-12-15 14:18:54 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and give it a try. You can have the best of both worlds.
2006-12-15 14:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too hard to say without further information. Have you tried seeking couseling? I think that marriage is serious, its hard work and it takes two. You should try your hardest to make it work if it means anything to you. (not to sound mean!)
2006-12-15 14:17:13 · answer #9 · answered by *Daisey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sucking isn't always a bad thing
if my husband did that, I would want her to be safe and not catch diseases, AND I would want to watch , at least
2006-12-15 14:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by i am not a lovely girl i am cute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋