Do men that are willing the cheat on their wives make good prospects for a future with "the other woman"? Is any thought given to the wife and children that are being hurt? How does one live with themselves when they knowingly try to break up a marriage?
2006-12-12 14:00:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. It can be a game. "A notch in the ol bed post."
2. They see something great and think they can just remove the wife peg and take there place in that grand picture. "I want to be her."
3. They have been hurt and will ruin any good relationship they can. "If I can't have it no one can."
4. He represents no commitment and she has serious commitment issues. "He has a wife, so I can mess around with him and he will never want me to do his laundry, deal with the kids etc..."
Those are just the scenarios I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure I could think of more, but the bottom line on all of these is that there is no good and/or logical reason. The "other woman" has issues she needs to work out. Live with themselves? Humans find amazing ways to survive all kinds of pain. Denial is a good one. Just read some of the answer you got here.
2006-12-13 10:55:34 · answer #1 · answered by Evolving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would anyone be the "other woman" in an affair with a married man?
From what i saw, for them its a way to make them feel special. To know that they can get another woman men...it's a power trip...being in control and desired. Plus man who cheat tends to be different with that other woman ( sometimes, she makes him feel younger so he treat her differenly)
Do men that are willing the cheat on their wives make good prospects for a future with "the other woman"?
I don't thinks that they all have some prospects, often they think that they could have all. The wife, the kids and the mistress.
Is any thought given to the wife and children that are being hurt?
"What they don't know can't hurt them" from cheating husband
How does one live with themselves when they knowingly try to break up a marriage?
The other woman don't think that the wife and kids knows. Often they justify the guilt by beleiving that they broke up a relation what was not solid.
2006-12-12 22:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by maliciaxoxo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men that cheat on their wives I would say generally come from unhappy marriages, at least the man is unhappy. When a man cheats on his wife there is no consideration at all for the wife and children. They are totally out of his mind at the time and the man's attitude is 'what she doesn't know about want hurt her". Unfortunately or sometimes fortunately the man is catch out. The marriage is in big trouble if one of the partner cheat on the other and not because of the cheating.
As for being the other women, that will depend on whether she is married or not and what she hopes to get out of the relationship. Some women are very happy to have a casual sexual relationship with a married man because there is no commitment involved. Especially if the man is lonely and needs someone to talk to. The women can feel needed without the hassles of a relationship and if she has been in bad relationship then this is an ideal situation. The women will satisfy the man's needs without putting any press on him. It only become a problem when one's feeling come into play and one of the pair wants more from the other or of course they get caught.
2006-12-12 22:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lock 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Personally, there is not a man alive that could be so charming and attractive to me, that would make him so irresirable that I would want to be the other woman. I would consider what he was putting his wife through, you know the woman he made the committment with in the evyes of God. As for women who do this I think they suffer greatly from a lack of self esteem, they feel they do not deserve any better, some have been hurt by a man so they are out to get everyone and belive they will have someone else man and spare themselves the risk of a broken heart. However, most do fall in love and end up with a broken heart anyway. What kills me is do they not realize they have literally liking this mans wife off of his penis. How gross. I think they have this false sense that they have the golden vagina, and he is going to fall in love with the sex and leave the wife. Not going to happen, if he was so miserable with his wife, he would divorce her. However, they are just cheating until they get caught and then they will be begging the wife for forgiveness and leave the women where she was when he picked her up. Do they think about the wives or the children probably not, they are very selfish and stupid females. Just my opinion. Women should be more empowering of eachother, instead it is very much an accepted pratice of females to try and date and have another womens husband. They must like sharing and having a piece of a man whenever, he leaves his wife bed he goes to hers. How could this possibly feel good or fullfilling. They lack self esteem. God bless****
2006-12-12 22:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A lot of "other women" were mislead from the start, not knowing he was married. Some as in my ex-husband's case were terribly mislead. I cannot believe the lies that he told about me. They lie about their wife how horrible, insane, treat them worse than dogs etc. I personally don't believe any man's "poor little me" stories. If it's so bad, get a divorce, don't go around telling your poor little me stories. Some women are big believers though.
Other women I've heard brag that they love other women's husbands because they don't have to worry about being tied down and only get the best of him. This is totally disgusting.
I think a lot of women that don't care about his wife or children getting hurt, think only of themselves and most likely have very low self esteem. They think he deserves a better life and they are only helping him get that. They are delusional and probably feel no guilt at all.
I've been cheated on, never been the other woman though. I have a conscious, most "other women" don't.
2006-12-13 01:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Karen H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that the wife and kids r thought of . I think that the people that are cheating or the other women are being selfish. I believe that karma (what goes around comes around) comes back and get everyone . I have been the wife and Ive been the other women.Either way everyone ends up hurt maybe not today or tomorrow but in the end everyone feels the loneliness . my best friend tried to get in a relationship w/ my husband and of course it didn't workout and now she is married and her husband cheated on her w/ her new best friend. It takes someone really selfish and have no feelings to be the other woman or be the cheater.All you can do is move on and not worry about them anymore(as best you can)
2006-12-12 22:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by jen 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have only read books, and what they say is that for 95% of all affairs nobody starts out looking for it.
Problems at home, and a context for emotional connection elsewhere start it. It starts with a connection, then one or the other is talking about their spouse. The "other" either person or man initially appears to have all the benefits and none of the costs. Thats because that person doesnt really exist, in real life they burp or fart, but thats known, so it cant be compared.
So lets say the husband is cheating. The other girl is single, young, and not very good looking, but a hard worker. Starts out with serious problems at home, and the guy admires her at work. He compliments her, and treats her with respect. She likes feeling that, and that draws her to him. They talk, she listens. The wife, with 5 years of bitterness and unresolved issues, doesnt listen. Her listening draws him. They form an emotional attachment. He steps over the line a little inviting her out to lunch, as a coworker. She tries it and likes it. It happens a few times, he gives, she recieves, them connecting, building those emotional connections and bonds. They flirt. Initially its just a pat on the should for a job well done, but it felt good. It keeps going.. so they are comfortable in each others spaces, attracted, and emotionally connected. Eventually they give in to feeling, and have a great time.. and then he has to look in the mirror and see what he has become, and though she didnt mean to she has become the other woman. She didnt mean to, but she couldnt help her emotions.
Safeguards for real marriage:
1. Read and obey 3 great books: "his needs her needs", "how to fight for your marriage", and "the five love languages". Consider also reading "a severe mercy", it has a great vision for relationship.
2. Get issues resolved, and keep them resolved. Use a psychiatrist, a pastor, or a priest, but get and stay okay with each other.
3. Ground rules, cant talk about the spouse, must guard your emotional connection. Guard the heart - its the life of the marriage.
2006-12-12 22:13:58 · answer #7 · answered by Curly 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some women like it because there are no strings attached, just sex. Other people do not know that they are the other woman. Me for example I did not know because he was with me all the time. Stayed nights at my house and when asked about going to his home he said he fell on hard times and was staying with grandparents and in reality was living with wife. I also feel that some women would think it a game. "Bag and tag" No matter if they are married or not.
2006-12-12 22:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by Darling girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A alot of what is said above is true, but there are also a degree of women that are bitterly competitive. They will come out with things like "I am sexier/ better looking/smarter" than his wife. I know women like this and their thrill is to take men from other women and then discard the man. They do not acknowledge that men just think of them as a "root'. In these cases the man is just a tool to hurt someone else.
2006-12-13 00:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some women like relationships where they feel it's easier to keep feelings from becoming too involved - just have a good time and then they can go their own ways. They aren't trying to break up a marriage, so it's not even thought about. I don't think we should judge people, esp when we have no idea what's going on.
2006-12-13 10:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by PAMELA S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋