Husband of 20 months is a dull lover. His idea of sex is hop on, do it and get off. I have talked to him about my needing more, but he continues to ignore my suggestions. Sadly he paid so much more attention in the beginning of our courtship to how I felt, but after a short time that part was over. We have been to three counselors...their suggestions did not make an impact on him. I've grown weary of him and his misogynists ways.
2006-12-08 14:18:35 · 32 answers · asked by classielassie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately guys like that do not change. If there are no children involved I would consider taking a hike. Otherwise he will be like that for the rest of your lives.
2006-12-08 14:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by miso1cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably realize your answer when you have had enough. Like your husband, we can't make you happy so I must refrain from giving you advice. I will sympathize with you though. I was in the same situation with an otherwise very good man. After a year of the dullest sex imaginable, I left. I had to. I started lusting after other men. Everytime I saw a man he looked like a big juicy shiny penis. I then realized that good sex was a very important part of the relationship. I let him go so that I would not have to cheat on him. I am sure you will make the best decision for you depending on your priorities. If you have had counseling, that means you have taken the steps to get your feelings out there. One thing you can't do is CHANGE him. Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-12-08 14:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by pretty_brown_eyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How awful for you to have married a woman hater. I know it's possible to have not known before, but I find it hard to believe you saw NO signs before you wed. Look deep before you leap, Judge Mayblean says.
About the sex, how can you still want someone sexually that you don't even like?
I'd love for you to email an answer, because thats one thing I could not get over and a reason I remain single today. Its just not fair to someone else and I can't seem to change my feelings.
(not having relations while mad at my ex-hubbys, that is)
2006-12-08 14:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might be on him a lot, about this, plus taking him to three different counselors, mightve been overkill. He might have been in a slump, and all that overkill just extended it further. Just relax and leave it alone for awhile. Find other fun things to do together. Once the pressure is off, he might start doing the extra things he used to do.
2006-12-08 14:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you young?
Teach him. We guys want to make you have an earthquake in between the legs that is unforgettable.
If he is not sure what is going on down there IE (CLIT), then he may believe he is really rocking your world.
Teach him , while you are going at it, to touch your love button, and the other things you would like him to do. But trick him into doing it during sex and really let him know just how good it feels.
If he is still a dead lay, then he is cheating.
2006-12-08 14:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by scott in minnesota 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an insensitive jerk to me. You deserve better. If he's this boorish after 20 months, what's he going to be like after five years? Ten years? Twenty years?
He's not going to get better. He has sex the way he wants it and someone who puts up with it. He won't change for you or anyone else. There is really nothing you can say to him for a better life other than "Goodbye."
2006-12-08 14:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has a right to live and be happy. If you are not happy you have to make a plan to seek happyness. It is with or without your husband. Does he have a good friend you can talk to about this? Do you know other girlfriends? How did you meet him? You probably thought he was giving warmth but is was you who gave for the both of you. Live to be happy. Or you will die early and frustrated. We all have the right to be happy.
2006-12-08 14:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jaqueline D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your hubby is so "not into you"...pretty nuts IMHO. If only he knew what could happen for him (and how good it could be) if he only paid attention and satisfied YOU. It just boggles the mind that men haven't figured out that the women hold all the cards...please the dealer and you get rewarded.
If you've made your needs known and he still isn't receptive...find someone better. I'm sure you deserve it.
2006-12-08 14:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might try renting an x-rated video to give him some exciting new ideas. Then try "dressing up" for him in some sexy lingerie and suggest different positions. Finally, a second honeymoon might be the jump-start that you need. My wife and I try to go on a honeymoon at least once every 2 to 3 years ... it tends to get things "renewed" ...
Good luck !!!
2006-12-08 14:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Bill P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be heard, but with time will sink in. Leave. Pretty simple. Marriage is not only a business agreement, but a physical and mental agreement as well. To take care of the other partner in times of need. I would say you are in need.
2006-12-08 14:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋