My wife of 3 years just passed away on Nov. 20. She fought cervical cancer for 9 months.?

Question

we were living in a town outside of baton rouge. Myself, her mother, and stepdad went the next day to funeral home 2 hours away. I stayed up there with my parents that night. I came home the next day and they had come in my house and took our mattress off bed and also 4 Lampe Berge ($2000) They said the mattress were a gift from her brother when she was diagnosed. Legally they are mine now. but my question is should I press charges because at the funeral home i asked them not to go in my house for any reason till i got back the next day? My lawyer tells me it is a big time felony. They don't like me just like i haven't ever really cared for them. I did love my wife. Just lost her and now having to go through all this crap.

Answer 1

It legally belongs to you and they had no right to go into you and your wife's house - family or not.

They are probably just coping in the wrong way because they are hurting just like you...

Try working it out with them first...if it goes nowhere, I guess you have no choice than to press charges

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. But you are going to have to give yourself time to grief her loss. It has only been a month that your wife passed away and it's okay to cry. You need to cry. Crying is part of the healing process. So don't feel you have to rush here. You are still going through the shock of losing her. And it will take time before you can start accepting that she is no longer there. Maybe right now you feel that you won't be able to go on by myself but you will. The only thing you can do is to take each day one day at a time. I think it would be in your best interest if you didn't put pictures of her all over the house. Maybe you should take one room like the living room or family room or even the den and put as many pictures of her in one of those rooms. And anytime you want to see her or talk to you just go to that room. But don't pass all your time in that room because that won't be good for you. You also need to get out of the house and meet people. Or try to get into a group therapy where you can share with others what you are going through. I will pray for you.

Answer 3

If you never want to see them again anyway, you could exercise your rights and call the police to have them charged with theft, but that's probably not the best for anyone. I don't think it is what your wife would want.

I guess they think if they can have those lamps, they are taking a piece of their daughter back with them. It may be all they have of hers. They were wrong to steal it, though, and by doing so they have put into operation the OPPOSITE of the law of the universe which says if you give you receive (i.e., by corollary the opposite is true: when you TAKE you LOSE).

You may be right and have a right to go to the police or small claims court, but you'd be better off not doing so for such a small amount of value in the big scheme of things.

What you should do in your soul is "give it to them." I know they have effectively already stolen it, but if you consider it in your heart as a gift that you would have given them anyway if they'd asked, you will be putting the universal law into effect that states if you give you receive. Exactly WHAT you will receive and exactly WHEN you will receive it is up to God--but He has a lot of class...so expect good results of you do that. On the other hand, if you "stand up for your rights," you only receive what the civil or criminal courts can legally give you.

The "return" in your life will be much larger if you "give" it to them in your heart.

There is no question that it is easy to become offended at such an act at such a time, resist falling into that frame of mind and your peace of mind will flourish, eventually.

Answer 4

This is a difficult situation, and I wouldn't want to make a decision right away. Their actions seem to suggest that they did not care for your feelings, especially at such a difficult time. Is there anyone on that side of the family you could speak with that you do get along with? It sounds as though they were still grieving, and wanted to have something of hers (but it also sounds like they were wanting to keep it away from you). Would your wife have tolerated this from them? If there is someone on that side that you can talk to, I would approach it that way.

The problem with pressng charges, is that this will snowball and turn into a big ordeal, one which you may not be prepared for emotionally. Its hard to believe that someone that has just lost a daughter, and sister would be so thoughtless.

Answer 5

I am very sorry for your loss. I dont know why people act like this when someone dies. I have seen this kind of thing happen before. My sister in law took stuff out of her parents home when it was all left to my husband and his brother in the will. She got property and other items of higher value so it wasnt like she was left out. The thing is they would have gladly given her whatever she wanted but she just took what she thought she "deserved". I can tell you that it took a couple of years before my husband and brother in law were able to forgive her. It has however distanced them.

Should you sue? Depends on what you expect to get out of it. I am not sure getting all the items or a monetary settlement is going to make you feel any better in the long run. Me? I would probably have my lawyer send them a letter stating that if they didnt return the items then I was going to file suit and see if they return them. I dont think I would really want to go to court. I would just cut my losses and move on before I put myself through that.

Shelle

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear you have gone through that after losing your wife. Those people are worthless to take a material possession from your home. Ask your self, is it really worth getting stressed out over. You can't take them with you when you leave this earth. You should live your life the best you can, and not worry about stupid, ignorant people.

Answer 7

You poor guy. I can certainly feel your pain -- I had a very similar situation, tho not as extreme.

My husband ended his life, and his dad actually left the funeral viewing to go to his lawyer's office to file papers, suing me. He filed a paper listing LOTS and LOTS of stuff that he said he "LOANED" to my husband, his son, but 99% of it was stuff that my husband had purchased, and his dad just wanted. But also things like the work bench that Dad had built into our garage when we bought the new home, etc. I got the court summons 4 days after the funeral. When we finally went to court 6 mo. later, the judge just went nuts on him -- thankfully. Didn't give him anything except the 2 things I had originally told him I had, a ladder and that custom-made, built-into-the-garage-walls workbench.

Yes, file the lawsuit. Sorry, but your wife would want you to, I bet. Good luck..........

Answer 8

I am sorry for your loss. Ask yourself if it's worth the pain and hassle of having to go through the legal battle, especially after having lost your wife or if it's not better to just walk away, chalk it up to their ignorance and get on with life.

Answer 9

First of all, I'm very sorry about your loss.
And yes, you should definitely do something about this situation. I myself just lost my Mother & my Father inlaw in the same week back in August, and it disgust me how people ,(who are suppose to be 'family') act! They act like vultures.So forget them if they dont have any consideration for your wishes. But you might want to talk to them one more time ,because they might have changed their way of thinking. Who knows? Hope this helped with your question.

Answer 10

Do what your lawyer tells you to do. Are they grieving? Let someone else handle it, you have enough to deal with now. I lost my father in august and my sister in law november 27 in a head on collision. I'm sorry for your loss.