I have two kids (ages 4 and 3) and that has been keeping me with my wife. She loves me so much and does everything for me, however I'm so unhappy with her. We don't have anything in common. Her personality is combanation of Dory and Mary Poppins. She is so sweet but so oblivous to what's going on around her and my feelings. I tell her sometimes how I feel and she just ignores it. She deserves someone to love her... much more than I could offer since I dont. I guess my question is... be unhappy with my wife and kids or happy without wife and without kids. More than likely she will want to move back to her family and friends out of state. I don't mind, as long as I get to see my kids every so often. She will be so hurt from this, but really.. I'm thinking it would be best in the long run to end it now. Am I being selfish?
2006-12-08 13:56:43 · 10 answers · asked by espnfanaz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, before you go from zero to divorced in two seconds, maybe you should tell her in a different way how you feel and suggest separation, counseling, or both. I would say at least the counseling. In most states before you can divorce there has to be a separation and you'll likely need to show that you tried to work things out too. Why not do that first before you jump the gun? Maybe you don't love her, and I would never suggest you stay just for your kids; however, you should know that what you're typing here that makes it sound easy to you will be very diffcult financially and emotionally.
If you can't work it out, prep your kids and stick together on how to raise them. Try to make the visits more than every so often if they're close by. Kids need both parents, even if they aren't married and together all the time. The presence of a dad and mom matter. Best of luck to you!
2006-12-08 14:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be blunt with you, you are being selfish. Have you asked yourself why you are unhappy with her? If she's so sweet and so loving, then maybe the problem lays with you. Have a talk with her. But before you do, sit down and be real with yourself... Do you feel like you don't have the freedom to do what you want to do? Do you feel crowded with your wife and kids? This is the mother of your blood. How can you even think of leaving your wife and kids. What kind of life will you put her in having to take care of the kids by herself? What kind of life will your kids have without a constant male/father figure around? Think about that... Your wife and kids loves you. Stick around and work it out.
2006-12-08 14:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by jj_bao 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First answer this, have you fallen in love with someone else? How long have you been married, and what were the reasons you married her in the first place? Think about when you were first dating and how you felt. Have you really sat down and openly talked with your wife about your feelings and what you are thinking of doing? Please find the time to get her alone, away from the house and children and honestly communicate with her. Your decision to leave will effect the children for the rest of their lives. You and your spouse could possibly find another love in time, but your children will only have one father. And how do you know the grass will be greener without your wife and kids...how do you know you will be happier without them? Happiness does not come from others. We should not depend on others to make us happy. Happiness comes from within and is not a constant state. It is a feeling that comes temporarily from joyous moments. Maybe you are not content with your life right now. Think about what could make you more content within yourself and not external things. If possible, talk to a counselor, your wife and children deserve it and so do you. God's blessings to you and your family.
2006-12-08 14:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by almostover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think your being selfish your just being honest about your feeling and being honest is a good thing, well i think you telling her how you feel is way better than just cheating on her, and if you unhappy your never going to be happy and the relationship won't have any true meaning to you, yes it might hurt her but at least your not lying to her , and if your not happy your kids might feel what you are feeling and end up unhappy to
2006-12-08 15:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by God R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry her? What was it about her that you loved enough to commit to marriage? Can you think back that far? You need counseling to see why you can't have a close relationship with her or your children. Most people can not walk away from their kids and see them "every so often".
2006-12-08 14:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by CapeCodGram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S not wrong to end it. you should...it'll hurt, but you should....but what REALLY annoys me about husbands, is that you guys don't know how f-ing stressful it is to take care of kids. you won't have to burden yourself with ANYTHING...and yes, you are being selfish..but you should still end it. u can't be miserable all your life, you aren't good enough for the three of them and she might suggest marriage counseling. either way...good luck
2006-12-08 14:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on ! I have the hots for this married guy now that is only in it for his kid and the relationship is dead no sex . There are women out there ready to take care of you guys!
2006-12-09 13:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are really unhappy, then is better for you guy's to go separate ways...your kids will understand... good luck!!!
2006-12-08 16:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, it's FOUR YEARS TOO LATE to decide that you don't have anything in common with your wife.
2006-12-08 14:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by shotgun_mosquito 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
is her mary poppin way what bothers you ?
2006-12-08 14:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by wilkinson_1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋