My husband is cheating with the computer.?

Question

I work nights and my husband talks to other women on the computer while I am at work. I am the soul bread winner and I think that I am a right to say whatever I want when I want. He does not help out at home or with the three kids that I am helping him raise. What do I do?

Answer 1

First of all, Flirting on the computer is not really cheating.
However, The Internet affords people Instant gratification. The line that Only Losers are on the net is a Myth. Some of the most beautiful women are on line. Also, some very handsome men.

Your problem is your marriage. Why is hubby not working to support the family? Only you know that answer. Your husband probably has dozens of chat mates from all over the world. Desperate house wives, college students.......what ever.

Until you confront him directly, You are part of the problem.

You are one millions that have lost their spouse to the Illusions and gratification of the Internet. You have my sympathy.

Best to you. Contact me via email and I will tell you everything.

Answer 2

One question that pops in my mind is; was he always this way? Second, breadwinner or not, you had he have to work together to raise those kids. Just because you work doesn't free you not to help around the house. Does he have resentment in that you are the breadwinner? How can you both work together to appease that issue? Are they your kids? Also...just because you are the "soul breadwinner" gives you no more right to say what you want then he has. You both should be able to say what you want/need in a loving relationship. Do you rub it in his face that you are the monetary income provider? Here's the deal. Sit down with some coffee or wine and have a nice DISCUSSION! Keep your head and emotions in check. Both of you need to say what you need to say and even more important is you both NEED to LISTEN! Then, both of you take that information and devise a fair plan to work it out. Now, about the computer women. If it bothers you, he should stop. End of story. If something you do (ie: hang out with a man friend) bothers him, it should also cease immediately. Later.

Answer 3

Not to agree with what he's doing cause I don't he sounds like a lazy as$, but maybe you shouldn't keep throwing in his face that you make all the money. If he's a stay at home dad it works both ways as if he was a woman, women always say that raising kids is a full time job in itself, and I agree. So look at like that. as far as the women on the computer tell him he needs to quit, and don't leave it idle when you say something or make a threat you better mean it or he'll think yeah I heard that before

Answer 4

Kick his a*rse to the curb.

I am a Stay at home mother and everything that concerns the household I do. From taking care of the kids, to cleaning , repairing the house, I do.The only thing that my hubby does is work.

Why does he need to talk to other women on the computer? Unless they are friends ( as in someone you know and have spent time together as a couple with.) then I wouldn't worry. But if he is just talking to random women that he meets online. Who knows what else he is doing in his spare time that he isn't spending taking care of the children or the house.

Answer 5

If you really want to stay in this relationship I would try to talk to him about your feelings and how you can change things so all the pressure is not on you.
Try making a list of the duties that need to be done and everyone take part in it. You can also make a password for the computer if necessary. Make an account for the both of you to get on together.
Tell him you want to build up your trust together and how much what he is doing bothers you. Talk to him about getting a job that would help him feel better about his self and raise his esteem. Also it would contribute to things that the household need or for extra money for the family to do things together. good luck

Answer 6

First of all, just because you are the sole bread-winner does not mean that you get to boss your husband around. He is an adult, not a child, so you must try to treat and respect him like one.

Second of all, you should nudge him to get a job. It sounds like he isn't actually a "stay at home parent" or he would be doing more parenting/cleaning.

All of this makes me think that you might have marriage problems that counseling could help fix. Please don't get offended: marriage is complex relationship and most of us (married people) aren't experts. I can't really say what complex problems are going on here because I'm not a marriage counselor and I don't know you, but I get the sense that he might be slacking around the house and talking to other women because something deeper is going on.

I think that sometimes counseling is covered by insurance, so you might only have to pay a co-pay. Also, check at a local university. People learning to counsel might be able to offer cheaper rates. (I'm saying this because I am still a student and I know we couldn't afford full-price counseling if it wasn't available at the university where I study!)

Answer 7

Just because you are the bread winner does not mean you make the rules, sorry.
However, weather he is working or not has nothing to do with his on line affairs assuming they are affairs. He is wrong no matter what, you should have the right to say no, to what women he has sex with real or otherwise.

Answer 8

You need to tell exactly how you feel. If he cannot respect your feeelings, then he does not deserve to be with you. He doesn't help out around the house either, so it sounds like you picked a loser for a husband and should consider seperating. You can d obad byyourself. You don't need extra baggage. He's sounds immature. Cheating on the computer is one thing, but if he hooking up with them behind your back, then he should be slapped with the papers.

Answer 9

Tell him to get a job. Sounds like hes lazy and only wants to stay at home to talk to these other women. Demand that it stop, or you'll kick him out. Talking to other women online is just another form of cheating and if he cant see that, then he needs to see you kick him out. Be firm with him and if your afraid of how he will react, ask someone you know and trust, like family or friends to be there with you when you tell him.

Answer 10

Lay some grounds rules without disrespecting your husband.
Let him know how you feel without screaming and yelling. Let him know that you do not have to deal with him cheating on you, and that he need to chose. Tell him you need his financal support. Communication is everything in a marriage!!!!!